Keldeo the Critic- Season 6
by Matthais Unidostres
Summary: In this newest season of Keldeo the Critic, Keldeo will have a greater attention to detail as he reviews fanfiction from the worlds of Pokemon, My Little Pony, PAW Patrol, Zootopia, and MORE!
1. 1- Editorial 1- Pokemon TF Stories

_**BOOOOOM!**_

There was a huge explosion caused by a Focus Blast from Keldeo.

_**THE SHOW MUST GO ON!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .**_

Keldeo activated his Secret Sword and swung it, causing a flash of light.

_**THE SHOW MUST GO ON!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .**_

Kyurem the Critic gave a genuine smile as he watched a slide show of highlights from his reviews.

Spike the Snob tipped his black top hat.

_**I'LL FACE IT WITH A GRIN!**_

"NO SHIP, SHERLOCK!" Intoxiquer the Crobat shouted in Genesect's face.

_**I'M NEVER GIVING IN!  
ON WITH THE SHOW!**_

Meloetta sat down with Madoka the Fennekin and Damian the Meloetta on either side of her.

Imperator Justinian shook Keldeo's forehoof.

_**THE SHOW MUST GO ON!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .**_

Arceus the Critic glared at Mew as she floated near a stone replica of him.

"SHUT UP!" shouted Anthony the Zoroark and Ian the Lucario.

_**THE SHOW MUST GO ON!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .**_

Ryu Taylor the ferret and bent water into a small stream and spun it around to slap each of the Mane Six in the face.

_**I'LL TOP THE BILL, I'LL OVERKILL!**_

Jack Storm sprung awake and jumped onto his feet, wearing his robes and ready for battle.

Matthais Unidostres and BrickBrony1894 bro-hoofed.

_**I HAVE TO FIND THE WILL TO CARRY ON!  
On. . . with the show. . .**_

_**On. . . with the show. . .**_

"FORESHADOWING!" Munna exclaimed.

"V-WHEEEEEEEL!" Victini exclaimed.

"MUSIC!" Floyd the Pichu shouted while holding his guitar high.

"RAAAAR!" Zoroark roared comically as his held his arms up and shook them.

_**SHOW!**_

Keldeo stood up on his hindlegs in his Resolute Form, his Secret Sword shining brightly.

_**The show must go on!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . . go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .go on. . .**_

**Keldeo the Critic- Season Six**

**Episode 1: Editorial 1 - Pokemon TF Stories**

"It's me! Keldeo the Critic! I review it so you don't have to!" Keldeo said cheerfully, "And it's time for Season Six! Woo-hoo!"

Keldeo backflipped with joy, and then he said, "Okay, so I've been at this reviewing thing for quite a while. I mean, come on, Season _Six_? It's crazy!"

Keldeo nodded and said, "So, I really want to start this new season off in a _different_ direction. You see, I want this season's episodes to have more focus on the details. I want to kinda look at things with a more critical eye, and to better balance out positives and negatives. And I really think that the topic of this episode looks like a good way to get me into that mood."

Keldeo bobbed his head and said, "So, today I'm gonna talk about Pokemon TF Stories. Now, TF stands for _transformation, _meaning that these stories are about humans transforming into Pokemon."

Floyd the Pichu walked in playing his guitar and singing.

_"Abra-cadabra! Change-o, range-o-ree!"_

Keldeo blinked and said, "Uh, Floyd?"

_"If I recite these words just right their magic will change me!"_

"Floyd, no one's gonna get this refence," Keldeo said.

Floyd stopped playing and said, "What do you mean, Keldeo? This song is a classic!"

Keldeo sighed and turned and called out, "Victini!"

Victini flew in and said, "Yeah, Keldeo?"

"Do you know where that song Floyd was singing is from?" Keldeo asked.

"It's from _Tennessee Tuxedo and His Tales, _in the episode _Wreck of a Record. _The cartoon ran from 1963 to 1966 on CBS, was made by the same people who made the _Underdog _cartoon. It got a brief revival on YouTube in 2014," Victini recited plainly.

Keldeo's jaw had dropped, and he stared wide eyed at Victini. Then he closed his mouth and huffed, "Yeah, yeah, I get what's going on. Matthais told you about it so you could mess with me. Ha-ha."

Victini smirked and said, "You got it! Later!"

As Victini flew off, Keldeo turned and said, "Well, anyway, so yeah, Pokemon TF Stories. Now, you're probably thinking, _'So what, Keldeo? You already reviewed a story like that: __**Kevin and Buizel**__ and its remake __**Kevin the Buizel **__by SukottoDeragon.'_"

Keldeo sighed and said, "Well, you see, Pokemon TF Stories are. . . _different._ For one thing, don't expect to find any FanFictionNet! As far as I know, they only exist on sites like DeviantArt and maybe Wattpad for reasons that will become clear later on."

Keldeo shrugged and said, "But that's not one of the actual requirements for these stories. Now, for a story to actually _be_ an official Pokemon TF Story, it needs to be a oneshot that focuses _only_ on the main character and that character's transformation, and when I say focus, I mean _really focus. _The transformation needs to be slow, described in the greatest of detail, and take up the _majority_ of the story. Sure, SukottoDeragon_ did_ describe Kevin's transformation in detail, with growing fur and bones breaking and reforming, but those were full multi-chapter stories with many interacting characters and plot points."

Keldeo thought for a moment, then he said, "It's kinda like. . . a Fanfic is a full meal, and a Pokemon TF Story is a Poffin or a Pokepuff or a candy bar. It's something short and sweet that's meant to hit a certain point and that's it. That's probably why they're on DeviantArt and Wattpad instead of FanFictionNet. They're not full stories."

Keldeo pouted as he thought for another moment, then he said, "You know, I think a candy bar is the best comparison here, because candy bars can be filled with nearly anything, some candy bars are better or worse than others, and you may not always want to eat a sticky candy bar. Sometimes all the chocolate and nougat and caramel is just too much on your teeth and. . .uh. . ."

Keldeo smiled sheepishly and said, "Heh-heh. I kinda went on a Scorbunny trail there . . ."

Keldeo huffed and said, "Okay, look, it's hard for me to say whether or not Pokemon TF Stories are good right away. First, I really need to go through the formula that these stories all use."

Keldeo gave a curt nod and said, "Pokemon TF Stories usually start off with our main character, who is a human _not_ in the Pokemon world. Sure, it _can_ take place in the Pokemon world, but having it be a human not used to the even the presence of Pokemon adds more impact to the transformation. The main character then goes about his or her normal life, or sometimes gripes about some sort of problem."

Keldeo grew a bit excited as he went on, "Now, this is where these stories can really, _really_ shine. Since these are oneshots, the author has to put as much detail, backstory, and characterization as possible into the main character as possible so we can get to know them in such a short amount of time. If we don't know who they are or what kind of people they are, then why should we care about them? And if we don't care about them, then we won't ger invested or have any concern for them when they transform. Because of this, Pokemon TF Stories usually have some great characterization because it _needs_ it. A great example of this is in _Healing Flame_ by confusedkangaroo on DeviantArt.

* * *

"_Ok, Mrs Phillips. I'll see you again next week."_

_Hope aided the old lady to the door, wished her well again, and then returned to her small room to collect her belongs. She took several long moments of pause just to sigh. Nursing wasn't the same as what it used to be, with so many rules and regulations, cuts in pay and pensions, and most of all fear. Fear that either the nurse herself would be abused, or the other way around. It was a tough area that she worked in, so much so that there was CCTV everywhere. Nothing escaped the manager's notice._

_Finally, Hope retrieved her coat and, without even a flicker of a glance at her colleagues chatting over a boiling kettle, strolled out and drove home. She'd get a pizza tonight, it being Friday and all. Thank goodness for the weekend! Yet, she missed the days when she dreaded the weekends._

_She patted her blond hair out of the way and smoothed her blue uniform while waiting in traffic, thinking about the past. Hope's dream had always been to be a nurse, and with her country practically crying out for them, it was super easy to get qualified and then get a job. It had been so fulfilling once. The patients looked like they genuinely were thankful for the help, every colleague got on and they'd hardly had any complaints. Then they got some new doctor, may his name never be spoken of, who seemed nice and funny, only for it to be revealed that he hadn't been treating some of his patients in a professional manner. The result had been devastating to the doctors' practice she worked in. So great had this been that the practice had been forced to close and Hope to find employment elsewhere. She'd actually been really fortunate in getting a job so soon, when everyone else struggled, but Hope would rather she was in their position. This practice had instantly distrusted her, as if she had upset the norm, her pay was cut for no reason and she'd had three patients try to, well, make 'advances' on her. Looking just like one of those models didn't really help, not that she had much control over her body. It had made her once cheery blue eyes turn to ice._

* * *

"The story really does a good job in helping us get to know and care about Hope Phillips," Keldeo said, looking quite pleased and impressed with the story, "She's a nurse who lost her job due to no fault of her own, she's become disillusioned with her career when it became less about helping people and more about money and rules, and she's struggling due to other people's assumptions about her. Great writing!"

"Anyway, after we've gotten to know our main character, we then move onto the next step: a mysterious object. This object can be anything. It can be a crystal, a stick, a candle, a rock, _literally anything_. It's touching or using this object that triggers the transformation. The human doesn't fully catch on at first as they slowly start changing, but as the transformation continues with in-depth descriptions of fur growing, and arms and legs changing in length, and faces morphing, and borderline creepy stuff like that; it eventually ends with a revelation of what he or she has become, along with acceptance and amazement at their new form."

Keldeo chuckled a bit and said, "Yeah, more or less, the main character is okay with the transformation, and that makes sense. I can understand why many Pokemon fans would love to actually be a Pokemon."

Keldeo then frowned and said, "But, in spite of good writing and a solid formula, Pokemon TF Stories do have some issues that kinda make them hard for the average person to enjoy. First off, while I did mention that there's always a certain item that triggers the transformation, it seems more like a meaningless excuse than an actual reason. For example, let's take a look at _Procrastination Proclamation_ by TheEXxtra on DeviantArt."

* * *

_A louder clink was heard, influencing Diane to put her pencil down and to open the window, grabbing the airplane. _

_Reading it to herself, Diane said "Hold still. Don't ask. Seriously." Suddenly, a tiny ache sneaked onto her head._

_She winced, pinching her forehead to find a weird looking pebble. The lady assumed it was all a stupid prank and leaned out the window to find the culprit. She found no one, cueing her to crumple up the note and throw it out the window._

* * *

Keldeo looked confused as he said, "Okay. . . so someone used a magic pebble to cause Diane's transformation. But why? Is someone just going around throwing. . ." Keldeo frowned as he tried to gather his thoughts, ". . ._Magical. . . Pokemon transformation pebbles_ at people? What makes this person so special that she should get transformed in a Braixen? The same problem is present in _Healing Flame_."

* * *

_She'd never met the person opposite her, but it turned out to be a young red headed man in a purple hoodie. Looked a little too young to have a home of his own, but she'd always been bad at judging ages. For all Hope knew, he could be the same age as her. He smiled and handed her the brown parcel, saying that he'd hoped it was whatever it was she was after. Strange boy._

_Hope left him and opened it, gasping in surprise. It was a candle, with beautiful yellow wax that gradually turned white then red, with a small wick at the top. Maybe someone from her old practice had thought of her and sent her this as a present. Without hesitation, she set it on the side, lit it, turned off the light above her head and then sank down in the only chair in the room._

* * *

"Why would this random guy give this random woman a random magic candle that randomly turns her into a Braixen," Keldeo asked with a frown, "And that's a lot of random! Sure, she's had a hard time with being a nurse, but in that case, wouldn't it make more sense for the guy to turn her into an Audino or a Chansey or some other Pokemon that's normally known to work with Nurse Joy. But that still wouldn't work because how does this guy know anything about her? They never met, so it just seems weird and random. Is he a stalker? A mind reader? WHAT!?"

Keldeo relented a bit and said, "But to be fair, there are some stories that _do _provide an explanation. For instance, in _Siren's Song_ by WeebWriteMan on DeviantArt, these nameless _spirits of the sea_ or whatever turn the main character into a Primarina because he's a really good singer, so he would be even _better_ as a Primarina."

* * *

_The further he got into the song, the more he opened his mouth, letting the song be heard only by himself… and the hidden audience, drawn to his voice from the sea._

_The spirits listened from their spectral seats to his incredible singing voice, the right tone, pitch, pacing… he was perfect. A perfect sea singer…_

_But a few adjustments would have to be made._

* * *

Keldeo shrugged and said, "Sure, it's really vague and not explained very well, but at least it's something other than a random person throwing something at him or giving him something for no reason. Although I really think that instead of random spirits of the sea, it should have been actually Legendary Pokemon like Kyogre or Manaphy or Phione or something!"

Keldeo sighed and said, "But, there's also another problem that seems to be unavoidable in Pokemon TF Stories. Let's go back to _Siren's Song, _after the transformation, and I'll show you."

* * *

_The sound of something loudly knocking on the door could be heard just outside the bathroom, the sound of the water not even managing to cover that up. "Mister Reys!" A voice called from outside, loud and on-the-job. "Your ride is here to take you to the concert hall. Are you ready?"_

_Thomas seized up on the floor, his eyes going wide as he swallowed nervously. After all that had happened, he had totally forgotten about the concert itself. It was only a matter of time before they came in to investigate…_

_The spirits watched the scene with the realisation of having overlooked a few small details. Namely, getting their new siren to the ocean. But they watched regardless, hoping that their endeavors would not be for naught and that everything would turn out alright._

* * *

"Okay, now that sounds interesting," Keldeo said, looking truly intrigued by the turn of events, "Now, our hero will need to get help from his personal assistant or driver or whatever in order to make the best of this. It could be an adventure of getting out of the city without people seeing him, and then making it to the ocean. Or, maybe he could still keep his career going by making an underwater house or something, and he could only release albums he records in private, and only a select few know that he's a Pokemon and that's why his voice sounds better than ever. Or, what the hay! Maybe the world is okay with him being a magical creature because he's still a citizen that can communicate, I assume. Maybe it can be an Alvin and the Chipmunks kind of thing where him not being human doesn't really matter."

Keldeo then frowned and said, "Too bad the last part of the Pokemon TF Story formula is _always end on a cliffhanger_! Seriously, that section of the story I showed you is the end! There's no more after that! In_ every single _one of these stories, just when it starts getting good, it ends."

Keldeo kept his grouchy frown on as he said, "Oh yeah. I'm serious. Here's the end of _Healing Flame._"

* * *

_Hope stood up, caressed her stick for a few moments, before deciding the best spot for it would be in her tail. Right, that's done, now what? She looked away from the forest and saw civilisation. A small town with streets, lights, people, Pokémon and…was that a hospital of sorts? Or, what was it, Pokémon Centre? Maybe they needed someone with a healing touch. Maybe…Maybe she could actually still do her job and find joy in it again? Maybe that's why the candle had been given to her._

_Only one way to find out. The new Braixen ran towards the town. Unbeknownst to her, someone was watching. He'd done it again it seemed, and she felt this once human would find her dream really fulfilled here. Maybe he could treat this job seriously after all._

* * *

"Okay, so does she just get a job at the Pokemon Center?" Keldeo asked, "Or does she have trouble because Braixens aren't known to work with Nurse Joys? Does she have a rivalry with an Audino or a Wigglytuff or a Chansey? We could've had a cool Zootopia-type storyline here! And, so what, this weird guy just teleports between worlds and stalks people so he can turn them into Pokemon? Huh?"

Keldeo huffed and said, "But wait. It gets worse. Check out the end of _Procrastination Proclamation._"

* * *

_Diane sighed, glad to have a minor victory after a series of interesting events. She turned to put her pencil away until the door to her room opened, seeing her little brother carrying around a 3DS._

"_Woah! Mom, Dad! I found a pokemon, can we keep it!" The small boy said, rushing to awake his parents._

"_Oh my god, Peter!" Diane ran to the boy, hoping to warn him about what happened before it was too late._

_The mother came out of the room first, tired as ever. She rubbed her eyes and was shocked to see a strange animal behind her son. _

_Seeing her mother scream, Diane talked out loud "Calm down!" _

_The little brother turned around, confused "Wait, you talk?" he asked._

_Taking a long breath, Diane got comfy in her stance as she began "Listen...It's a long story, but you gotta listen…"_

**_THE END_**

* * *

"Seriously?!" Keldeo shouted, "You cut the story off in the middle of a sentence!? Are you kidding me?!"

Keldeo frowned and nodded, "This is so weird. It's almost like these stories are a combination of effort and laziness. There's effort in developing the characters, but at the same time they seem like a go to for someone who doesn't want to write a complete story. They have good ideas, but none of those ideas are ever used."

Keldeo's eyes lit up and he stood tall and said, "I _want_ to see Hope overcome all sorts of obstacles and adversity to become the first Braixen to work in a Pokemon Center. I _want _to see Thomas either become some kind of musical sensation that performs for people by the sea or have a wacky adventure getting to the sea to become the King of the Primarinas or something like that. But the people who write Pokemon TF Stories are content to just give these ideas the one and done treatment and never bring out their true potential. And if you ask me. . . that's just messed up."

Keldeo narrowed his eyes and said, "And I haven't even gotten to the stigmas attached to these stories. Yeah, I'm pretty sure many of you already know what I'm talking about, but let me explain it anyway."

Keldeo sighed and said, "Alright, because these stories have such meticulous descriptions of the transformations, they can sometimes come off not only as creepy body horror, but also as a kind of weird fetish."

Keldeo raised his right forehoof defensively and said, "Not all of them are like that! Plenty of them are just interesting stories about a human turning into a Pokemon that don't get too weird. _Kevin and Buizel_ is a really good story, so many Pokemon TF Stories are just fine as well."

Keldeo put his hoof back down and sighed, "But, the sad fact is that anything fetish related often attracts more fetishes. For instance, in _Procrastination Proclamation, _the main character is allergic to her own fur, which might actually be kind of funny! But the humor is ruined because the author uses it an excuse to work a sneezing and sniffling fetish into it."

Keldeo stomped his hooves and said, "Why?! It's insanely annoying to have to read through all the snotty sniffling in the dialogue, and it ruins what could have been a really cute and funny story! I mean, what's next? Is there gonna be a story about a sneezing Sylveon?"

* * *

_**Sylveon Sneeze **_

_By: PrincessSara1998 _

_Sylveon needs to sneeze, but she doesn't want to. If she sneezes, she'll cause some magic havoc. Will she be able to hold her sneezes back?_

_Rated: Fiction K - English - Humor/Suspense - Sylveon - Words: 1,586 - Reviews: 3 - Favs: 5 - Follows: 2 - Published: Oct 20, 2016 - Status: Complete - id: 12198699_

* * *

Keldeo just stood with a flat expression, and he said, "Wow. . . Rule 36 is right. No matter what it is, it is somebody's fetish. . . ._**it's sneezing! **_I mean, _come on!_"

Keldeo calmed down rather quickly, then he said, "Well, I suppose it could be worse. Ugh! I don't wanna think about it. Quite frankly, I'll take the sneezing. Anyway, another problem with Pokemon TF Stories is that many of them also have the character changing gender too, _and that doesn't work in stories like this! _Why?"

Keldeo frowned and said, "The whole point of a Pokemon TF Story is that the transformation is happening _against the main character's will!_ There's a certain suspension of disbelief here. We need to accept the fact that a person would be okay with being turned into a Pokemon. Pokemon _are_ awesome, so when the character accepts it even though they were forced into it, we can go along with it. But I'm pretty sure that every single person on Earth can agree that a person being _forced _to be changed in such a deep, personal way. . . is wrong! It's basically the same as being violated. No one, and _nothing,_ has the right to force a change like _that_ on anyone. It just isn't something that any other person can decide! And yet, some of these stories decide to go too far and torture the main character like this. And then the character is _still_ somehow okay with this, and that's insulting because no real person would be okay with that! Psychological damage, much? These stories already kind of push your suspension of disbelief, but stuff like _that_ just goes too far."

Keldeo huffed and said, "And I know some people might argue that certain Pokemon look really feminine or really masculine, but that doesn't matter! 25% of Machamps are female! 50% of Gardevoirs are male! 87.5% of Sylveon and Primarinas are male! Yeah! That's right! The most feminine looking Pokemon have a male majority, so you can't use that excuse! In _Siren's Song, _Thomas turned into a male Primarina because WeebWriteMan wanted to write a story, not just make something for the sake or shock value."

Keldeo breathed in and out as he gathered his thoughts, and he said, "So. . . what have we got? Well, most decent Pokemon TF Stories have amazing characterization so we can get to know and care about the main character when he or she starts transforming. The transforming sequence itself can be a bit weird, but it gets you into the story and can be really cool depending on how far the author intends to go. And if you avoid those. . . _other _types of stories that I brought up, then the only real problem with them is that they end on cliffhangers that leave you wanting more but don't really deliver. I can't say that they're all bad or even that the concept itself is bad, but I really don't think Pokemon TF Stories are for everyone. But hey! Give one a read and see if its your thing."

Keldeo smiled and said before leaving, "I'm Keldeo the Critic, and-."

"Ahem!" Floyd said as he tapped his foot impatiently.

Keldeo turned to the Pichu, and he smiled and said, "Okay. . .Let's do it."

Floyd smiled and began to play as he and Keldeo sang.

_"Abracadabra!_  
_ Change-o, range-o-ree!_  
_ If I recite _t_hese words just right _

_Their magic will change me!_

_Abracadabra!_  
_ Change-o, range-o-ree!_  
_ But if I do, then I ask you_

_ Which Pokemon should I be? _  
_ Oh, which one should I be?"_

"Zamazenta! Zamazenta! That's what I could be!" Floyd sang, "Then when It's time to battle, I would have my shield with me!"

_"Oh which one should I be?"_

"Zacian, yes! Zacian, yes! That's what I could be!" Keldeo sang, "And then wherever I might go, I'd take my sword with me!"

"Oh which one should I be?

_Abracadabra!_  
_ Change-o, range-o-ree. . ."_

* * *

**The End**

* * *

_**Credits**_

_The Show Must Go On- _Queen

_Tennessee Tuxedo and Friends - Abracadabra (TinyURL:_**y6jaq5s7**)

_Healing Flame_ by confusedkangaroo

_Procrastination Proclamation_ by TheEXxtra

_Siren's Song_ by WeebWriteMan

_Sylveon Sneeze_by PrincessSara1998

_Rules of the Internet - _TV Tropes


	2. 2- Monkey's Paw by HavocHound - Part 1

_**BOOOOOM!**_

There was a huge explosion caused by a Focus Blast from Keldeo.

Keldeo activated his Secret Sword and swung it, causing a flash of light.

_**You hear the screeching of an owl**_

_**You hear the wind begin to howl**_

_**You know there's zombies on the prowl**_

Kyurem the Critic and Cryogonal the Critic screamed as they watched a video of Pikachu and Buneary being attacked by zombies.

_**It's terror time again**_

_**They got you running through the night**_

"FORESHADOWING!" Munna exclaimed.

"V-WHEEEEEEEL!" Victini exclaimed.

"MUSIC!" Floyd the Pichu shouted while holding his guitar high.

"RAAAAR!" Zoroark roared comically as his held his arms up and shook them.

_**It's terror time again**_

_**And you just might die of fright**_

Keldeo stood up on his hindlegs in his Resolute Form, his Secret Sword shining brightly.

_**It's a terrifying time**_

**Keldeo the Critic- Season Six**

**Episode 2: **_**Monkey's Paw **_**by HavocHound**

"It's me! Keldeo the Critic! I review it so you don't have to!" Keldeo said with a smile, then he said, "You know, for a franchise centered around a bunch of adorable puppies that go around solving problems and helping people, there's a lot of darker and edgier fanfiction for it. But I suppose I can see why. The PAW Patrol is essentially emergency services, and there are tons and tons of dramas about emergency services for a reason. _Medic, SWAT, CSI, Law and Order, SEAL Team, Criminal Minds, _the list goes on and on. Police officers, firefighters, and the like are required to handle deadly situations and risk their lives if necessary, sometimes on a daily basis. This also leads to a strong sense of comradery between them, like me and the other Swords of Justice. This only adds to the intensity of the drama between such characters."

"Now, Of course, a kids' show like _PAW Patrol _isn't gonna have such intense drama or danger levels _that_ high, but FanFiction _can. _The characters are extremely likeable and play of each other so well that older viewers can latch on to it, just like _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, _and create their own stories with a more mature and realistic edge. . . just like _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. . ._"

Keldeo blinked owlishly, then he remarked, "Wow. _PAW Patrol _is everything _Littlest Pet Shop (2012) _tried to and _wanted to_ be!"

_**In Memory of Littlest Pet Shop: **__November 10, 2012 - June 4, 2016 _

"Aaaany-who," Keldeo said slowly with a roll of his eyes, then he smirked and said, "Heh-heh, see what I did there. . . . .yeah, so when it comes to dark, gritty, edgy _PAW Patrol _FanFiction, nobody does it better than _HavocHound!_"

Keldeo nodded enthusiastically,"Yeah, that's the guy who came up with Damian Stone! Gosh, it took me the entire month of October, and a bunch of bootleg Fazbear Entertainment animatronics, for me to get rid of him back in Season Five!"

Keldeo smiled and said, "Well, we won't be doing anything like that this October. To tell ya all the truth, I don't really like reviewing dark stuff, especially a _whole bunch_ of dark stuff in a row. But, I kinda just _had _to do it. Damian Stone had to be dealt with, not to mention those horrible _My Little Pony _creppypastas. I just couldn't rest until I'd taken care of them all for good, no matter how horrible it was."

Keldeo shuddered a bit, but then he got his smile back and continued, "But, they're all gone now! Damian Stone got blown up and the _My Little Pony _creepypasta villains are all babies, so for _this_ Halloween, or Gourgeist Festival if you're in Kalos, I'm just gonna focus on one story. But don't worry, cause it's a big one, and it gives me _a lot_ to talk about. I was gonna review it last season, but the story was unfinished at the time and I probably wouldn't have had enough time to review. So, this season's big Halloween review will be of HavocHound's _Monkey's Paw._"

"Ain't yer forgetting somepony, Keldeo?" a creepy sounding southern voice said.

Keldeo turned around and saw that Applejack was standing in the shallow water nearby. However, this 'Applejack' looked nothing like the Applejack known and love by the Brony community. The mare's tail and mane were unkempt and messed up; and her fur coat was shaggy and dirty. But what really made her look freaky were her eyes. They were severely bloodshot, and her pupils were shrunk impossibly small. To top it all off, she had a sadistic slasher smile on her face.

Keldeo recoiled in horror and said, "What the hey are you!?"

'Applejack' chucked darkly and replied, "Didn't ya know, Keldeo? Ah am the thing you fear most! Ah am the madness crawlin' around under yer skin, squirming… writhing around inside just waitin' to get free…"

Keldeo's eyes widened in realization, and he pointed a hoof at the mare and said, "Wait, you're from _An Apple Sleep Experiment _by Magpiepony, aren't you."

"Eeyup," she replied, "And when I heard ya left me out of yer little _My Little Pony _Creepypasta party last season, Ah'd figure I pay ya a visit this season, especially when I heard that ya were gonna review that monkey paw story instead of _mine._"

Keldeo frowned, "Yeah, there's no way I'm reviewing _An Apple Sleep Experiment. _Sorry."

"Oh, but ya _will,_" Insane Applejack insisted, still wearing an insane smile on her face, which grew wider and more insane with every word she spoke, "'Cause my story is _dang_ better than this _doggone_ story you wanna review today. Far too tame. There's not enough will in the deaths, no insane conviction to murder, no point where the main character truly lets loose."

Keldeo nodded slowly, "Oh, I get it. As a character whose murders were deliberate and personal, you wanted the deaths in _Monkey's Paw_ to actually be done _by_ Chase, and not just because of poorly worded wishes."

"Whether my murders were my fault or not is up to the reader to decide," Insane Applejack said, her smile fading all at once into a frown, "But this _dadgum _story by HavocHound is all bark and no bite, ain't that funny. Ah got blood on my hooves, but Chase's paws are squeaky clean by then end of it."

She then chuckled madly as she stood up on her hindlegs and said, "So, how about instead of puppies and monkeys, we focus on apples and apples and the blood of Filthy Rich. Let me show you what happens when the land of dreams abandons you."

As the insane mare laughed manically, Keldeo just rolled his eyes and said, "Munna, use Hypnosis."

Munna flew in and used the move on the Earth pony, who promptly fell flat on her back, fast asleep and snoring loudly.

Keldeo smiled and said, "There. If anypony could use a goodnight's sleep, it's her. Thanks Munna."

"No problem," Munna replied, "Anything to avoid a repeat of last year's Halloween. I hated having to make all of those PAW Patrol animatronics!"

Keldeo shrugged, "Yes, well, if you and Victini could put Applejack somewhere, that would be great."

Keldeo then refocused his attention and said, "So, as I was saying, it's finally time for my review of _Monkey's Paw_ by HavocHound!"

* * *

_**Monkey's Paw **_

_**By: HavocHound **_

_Chase doesn't believe in superstitious stuff like spells, curses, and mythical objects. It's all a bunch of nonsense in his mind. However, he gets a mysterious object known as a Monkey's Paw that is said to grand wishes at terrible prices. Chase uses it, not thinking it would do anything... but then starts a chain of events that can only lead to his ruin..._

_Rated: Fiction T - English - Supernatural/Horror - Chase, Skye, Marshall - Chapters: 10 - Words: 23,831 - Reviews: 141 - Favs: 42 - Follows: 32 - Updated: Feb 16 - Published: Jan 7, 2018 - Status: Complete - id: 12791901_

* * *

"Before we begin, here's a little background," Keldeo said, "In 1902, English author W. W. Jacobs wrote a short story called _The Monkey's Paw._ It's a story about a man named Mr. White, his wife, and their son after they are given a magical monkey's paw by a friend named Sergeant-Major Morris. Morris got it from a mystic-type person in India, and discovered that paw can grant three wishes, but a terrible price. Its purpose was to teach people not to mess with Fate or God's will. Morris already had his wishes and had such a terrible experience with them that he throws it into the fireplace. Unfortunately, Mr. White grabs it and ignores Morris' warnings. Mr. White wishes for a sum of money, and the next day, his son is mangled and killed in factory machinery the next day, resulting in the parents receiving insurance money equal to the amount the man wished for. The couple is traumatized by this at first, but then the wife demands that the husband wishes for their son to come back to life. Mr. White doesn't want to do this, because, ya know, resurrecting the dead with witchcraft is _kinda_ _evil, _but the wife forces him to."

Keldeo appeared quite excited as he continued, "Now, here's where W. W. Jacobs shows his brilliance. After a brief calm before the storm, there's furious knocking at the front door. The wife scrambles to unlock the door, but the father is convinced that it's a horrible mangled living corpse because the son was caught in machinery. The wife is struggling to reach the lock, and Mr. White grabs the monkey's paw and wishes for his son to return to death. Then, when the wife opens the door, there's nothing there, and it's The End."

Keldeo smiled and said, "You see, that third act is what makes this short story so good. It leaves it unclear if the monkey's paw really _was _magic, or if the son's death was just a crazy coincidence. We never see who or what was at the door. Was it the son's reanimated disgusting corpse, or was it someone else who was knocking on the door for some reason? Like a kid playing a joke or something? Maybe it was just a woodpecker or some other bird or animal? Or maybe the couple was just imagining the knocking, who knows? That uncertainty makes the story all the more creepy. It's so popular, that people have been adapting and parodying this tale for years! Seriously, just check out Wikipedia and you'll see."

"Also, this story is actually one of Matthais' favorites because he saw a professional theater production of it on a school trip when he was younger. So, yeah, this story left a big and lasting impression on him, and I don't blame him. Theater can be very powerful, even more powerful than film, because the story is playing out _live_ and right before your very eyes in person. Cool."

Keldeo nodded and said, "So, does HavocHound's version of this story capture the creepiness of the original? Let's find out! This is HavocHound's _Monkey's Paw._"

"So, the story begins with Marshall convincing Chase to take a break from. . . what is it he's doing?"

* * *

_Whether it was training, patrolling, planning new team tactics, testing equipment, or even cleaning the Lookout up, Chase had a bad habit of getting too caught up in the moment._

* * *

Keldeo shrugged and said, "You'd think those would be more of Ryder's responsibilities, but okay, we'll go with that. So, the two best friends head over to the Adventure Bay Flea Market where I hope we don't get that obvious joke-."

* * *

_Thankfully, it didn't have real fleas for sale, but trinkets and goods you normally didn't find in stores that people were giving out for free._

* * *

Keldeo face hoofed hard, but then he quickly put his forehoof down and asked in confusion, "Wait, _for free_? What kind of flea market is that? It's a _market_! As in, ya know, buying and selling!"

* * *

_If you see anything you like at her shop, or any others, please let them know to forward the bill to me," replied Mayor Goodway_

* * *

Keldeo pouted and said, "Oh, so _now_ the stuff costs money? Come on, HavocHound! You're a much better writer than this!"

"So, after an obligatory bit of slapstick from Marshall at a magician's booth. . ."

* * *

_The dally waved a wand that he picked from a hat full of them and out came a set of fireworks that spooked the poor pup into the air and landed on the hat tail first. The wands all activated, sending Marshall flying into the air with cracks of fire and sparkles behind him as he landed in front of Chase._

_Opening his eyes, he giggled and said, "I'm good. Just having a __sparkle __of a time!"_

* * *

"Okay, that would probably look really cool if it were animated," Keldeo remarked, "Anyway, the pair learn that one of the stands is being run by a dog, so they go and check it out."

* * *

_It didn't take them long to discover the booth and it was quite an eye sore. It was a full on black tent with purple symbols on it that neither pup recognized. Entering inside, the two found themselves shivering as if they walked into a sudden chill that made if feel twenty degrees colder inside. Unlike the artifacts outside in the other booths, the stuff inside here was… creepy. There were strange dolls, china pots that were in various designs, books that were old, moldy and hands with eyes in them. There marionettes hanging from strings above. Strange glowing orbs with smoke or lightning in them. Amulets and crowns of eastern design that looked both heavy and mystical. It was like entering a dark realm of mystery._

* * *

"Get ready, cause now it's time for . . . _Are You Smarter Than a Paranormal Activity Character!_" Keldeo said with a big grin.

* * *

_"M-m-maybe we should leave," replied Marshall, shivering and shaking in the knees. "This place is giving me the creeps."_

_"Y-yeah," replied Chase, feeling just as uncomfortable._

* * *

"And we have two winners, ladies and gentlemen!" Keldeo declared, then he frowned and said, "Seriously, why are the people in those movies so stupid?! Seriously, you have video evidence that there's a demon in there, _get out of the house!_"

* * *

_However, before they could leave, they turned around and jumped in shock upon seeing an elderly English Golden Retriever with one pale eye staring at them with a toothy grin; said set of teeth was missing a few too. She wore a purple cloak with a hood covering half her face as she strolled forward as if on smoke._

* * *

_**Mermaid Man: **__"EVIL! EVIL-EVIL-EVIL-EVIL! EVIL!"_

"So, yeah, Chase and Marshall now want to leave even more than before, but the evil dog makes Chase stay by casting a spell on him."

* * *

_Chase was about to say something when he felt… weird. Like there was a fuzzy feeling in the back of his head. A small tingle… something that was… bothering him. Marshall, instead spoke, "We're not interested. Thank you, goodbye."_

_Marshall made his way for the exit, but just as Chase was about to follow, the pale retriever stopped him with her paw. "No, there is something calling you. Be it fate or chance, you cannot prevent the wheels sudden turn of your destiny."_

_Morgana put her paw away and presented her wares around them. "Come. Come find what it is that seeks you out. Be it good fortune or bad… it shall change you forever…"_

_Chase didn't say anything, but that darn annoying buzzing in his head was not stopping._ _She must have done some kind of gypsy trick on me. Fine. I'll just get something and go._

* * *

"Or you _could _just knock her over and run away," Keldeo suggested, "I mean, she's clearly doing something to you, whether it be actual magic or simple hypnosis. You even acknowledged it! Run! And besides, her name's _Morgana!_ She might as well be named _Morgan Le Fey! _It's so redicilously obvious that-."

* * *

_**Pinkie Pie: **__"She's an evil enchantress!"_

* * *

"And why is she targeting Chase, anyway?" Keldeo asked.

* * *

_The lady gasped before turning into a neutral face. "Oh my… you are called by the Monkey's Paw. What little desire do you have that burns so brightly that you would give anything for it?"_

_"What's a Monkey's Paw?" asked Chase._

_"A Monkey's Paw is a magical item that shall grant you a number of wishes based on the number of fingers unfolded on the hand. Each wish shall come true until the hand is fully shut, but beware," she started to grin which made a shiver go down Chase's spine, "for each wish comes at a price. A price you will regret in the end."_

_Chase snorted which made Morgana raise her eyebrow. "Oh, not a believer?"_

_"Magic and curses are just fairy tales," replied Chase, rolling his eyes. "Look, I know you must be good at this whole mumbo jumbo stuff, but if I get the stupid paw can I leave?"_

_"Of course, if you wish. But I suggest you grab something else," replied Morgana, leaning in closer. "For if you leave with the Monkey's Paw your fate, and the fate of those around you, are sealed."_

* * *

"So, Chase immediately grabs something else-," Keldeo began.

* * *

_"… right," replied Chase as he took the Monkey's Paw in his jaws and flipped it onto his head. "Just send the bill to Mayor Goodway." _

* * *

"Congratulations Chase! You just lost _Are You Smarter Than a Paranormal Activity Character!_" Keldeo complained, "And why are you going against her _now_! She creepily demands that you stay in her demon tent, you agree. She tells you _not _to buy the evil mummified thing, and _now_ you go against her?"

Keldeo sighed and said, "And I know that Chase needs to buy the paw in order for us to have a story, but wouldn't it make more sense if Morgana _encouraged _Chase to buy the monkey's paw, or at least didn't tell him not to. Sure, she could tell him the warning, but do it with more of a _'the choice is yours, take a chance' _kind of tone. The way this plays out just doesn't sit well with me."

* * *

_With that said, Chase walked out of the tent while the dog lady just smiled. "See ya later, lady."_

_"Oh, we will meet again," replied Morgana as she watched him leave._

* * *

Keldeo looked irritated, "Gosh, at least Morris gave an actual warning and was dead serious about it, even trying to destroy the paw in a fit of fear. . ." Keldeo grinned and said, "Which then led to a cool scene where the fire briefly takes the form of an evil monkey head. . . seriously, read the original story, it's awesome."

Keldeo went back to frowning and continued, "_Meanwhile, _the evil dog witch _forces _Chase to stay and buy something with her voodoo magic, and yet gives this lukewarm. non-committal suggestion that Chase _maybe _should buy something else instead of the evil paw of evil, but doesn't _have to _not buy it if he wants to destroy the lives of everyone around him- ugh! Seriously, what's up with that? Morgana, do you want to make Chase's life miserable or not? This is like in _Animal Crossing: New Leaf _where someone says you can buy something out of their home, but then is like _'oh no, anything but that' _when you go over to something you think you want."

* * *

_Chase walked out of the tent, glad to feel he sun on his face when Marshall tackled into him. "Chase! You're okay! I thought she was going to bubble you in a pot and eat you for lunch!"_

* * *

_**Pinkie Pie: **__"She'll gobble you up in a big tasty stew! So, watch out!"_

* * *

_Marshall noticed the monkey's paw on the ground and sniffed it before sticking his tongue out. "What is that? It smells… dead."_

_"It's a Monkey's Paw," replied Chase as he picked it up with his mouth before flipping it on his back. "It's some stupid trinket I had to get. Grants wishes if you wish while holding it and the fingers fold to tell how many wishes are left. I think I'll just bury it in the backyard for the poor thing to rest."_

_"Sounds good, poor little guy," replied Marshall before the two made their way as far away from the tent as possible._

* * *

"Now put a pin in this scene," Keldeo said, "Trust me, it's important, and I'm gonna come back to this later. Seriously, don't forget about this scene."

"So, Marshall gets a book called _1000 Ways to Confess To the One You Love, _who'd he buy it from, Twilight Sparkle? Anyway, we then get a nice moment where Chase encourages Marshall to tell the mystery pup how he feels about her."

* * *

_It's most likely, Everest. The two of them are close friends, and I think I've seen her wink at him, __Chase smiled and put his paw on his shoulder. "Just tell them. Look, they'll be glad to have you because you're a good pup. And if they don't like you? Well, then they're idiots."_

_"W-what if I'm not brave enough?" asked Marshall._

_"Come on, you're one of the bravest pups I know and I think you should go ahead and tell this pup you love how you feel," replied Chase._

_Marshall smiled at his friend and gave him a friendly nuzzle. "What did I do deserve a friend like you, Chase?"_

_"Just by being yourself," replied Chase as he and Marshall made their way towards the exit._

* * *

"Later on, as Chase is burying the monkey's paw, he decides to make a wish on it just for the hay of it."

* * *

_He thought about what to wish for and his mind turned back to Marshall. "Well, he needs all the help he can get so… I wish Marshall and his crush would get together." He tossed the Monkey's Paw into the dirt and started to rebury it. After it was filled, he quickly put his scent on it to let the others know it was his spot and rushed to rejoin the others for kickball._

_Unbeknownst to Chase, the paw had begun to fold one of its fingers._

* * *

"Okay, important detail!" Keldeo suddenly announced, "Unlike the original story, the monkey's paw in this fanfic gives _five _wishes, which presents a whole lot more possibilities, I suppose. But, assuming that this story follows along with the original, I'm gonna predict that Chase's second wish will be the one that kills someone. And, I suppose the fifth wish will be that none of this ever happens so we can get a happy ending. It's the third and fourth wishes that will be interesting. They _could _just be to bring someone back to life and then to make them rest in peace again like in the original story, but we'll have to wait and see."

"So, the nest morning, we see that Chase's wish has come true."

* * *

_He took a deep breath, and said, "Skye, will you go out with me?"_

_In that moment, Chase felt his heart shatter. His best friend. The one who was like a brother to him… was asking Chase's crush out. Skye, the one who he had loved in his heart from the day he first gazed upon her eyes. A series of emotions flew through Chase. Shock that the girl Marshall liked was not Everest, but Skye. Horrified that his best friend was doing what he had dream of doing for years. Angry that he was even attempting to woo his crush. He was about to march out when what happened next made him all but fall into the darkest pit of despair._

_"Oh, Marshall. Yes! Yes, I'll go out with you!"_

* * *

_**WAH-WAH-WAH-WAAAAAAAH!**_

Keldeo shrugged and smiled comically

* * *

_Five months._

* * *

"What is this, _Avenger's: Endgame_?" Keldeo asked jokingly, "But seriously, apparently Chase is the world's best actor and has an insane level of control over his emotions!"

* * *

_Oh, he pretended it didn't bother him when Marshall and Skye announced they were dating. He cheered for them publicly, but privately he cursed and cried. When Marshall came to him for dating advice, he could have sabotaged him, but he didn't out of love for his friends. When Skye told him one patrol that being with Marshall was the best thing that ever happened to her, he didn't growl or yell, but calmly nodded. When the others said they were cute together, and the town congratulated two of their heroes getting together, Chase just stood there… watching… and hating every second of it._

_. You're always there to help us with anything," replied Marshall, with a friendly lick on the cheek. "In fact, I owe you for helping me confess to Skye. If you didn't tell me to go for it and be brave…"_

_Don't remind me, __replied Chase in his head, but he continued to smile. "Well, I guess you can repay me by being the best pup at your wedding."_

_Marshall quickly turned red and stuttered, "D-d-d-don't rush into t-t-things like that!"_

_Chase faked a laugh and slugged him a little extra hard on the shoulder. "I'm just kidding. I'm happy for you, Marshall."_

_"Thank, Chase. Hey, maybe I can repay the favor by helping you find a girl. Everest is still free," replied Marshall._

_"Sorry, but she's not my type," replied Chase. __The only one I ever wanted you stole from me._

_"Well, when you do find a girl, let me know. I'd be happy to help," replied Marshall with a loud yawn. "I'm going to get some sleep before dinner. See you."_

_Chase waved goodbye, before scowling when Marshall wasn't looking. __Damnit, I shouldn't be acting like this. They're my best friends in the whole world. I should be happy… but why can't I? _

_"At this point, Chase catches the scent of the monkey's paw he buried and remembers his wish."_

_Chase paused and look closely at it. One on the fingers, the pinky one, was folded. __Didn't she say that a finger is folded when you made a wish? But I don't remember wish-_

_Eyes widening, he realized he did make a wish while holding it. He wished Marshall would get together with his crush. The next day… Marshall confessed… and Skye returned his feelings. __Could it be?_

_Did the wish… come true?_

_"No, that's impossible," said Chase, shaking his head. "Wishes don't come true like that. It's just a coincidence."_

_Yet there was a thought in Chase's head. What if this did something? What if it made Marshall and Skye fall in love? Did that mean it wasn't real? If there was no choice involved doesn't that mean it was forced love? Was it all a lie?_

* * *

"Rewind!" Keldeo shouted.

* * *

_He never once thought of the idea that one of his friends held feelings for Skye as well, especially his best friend. Marshall never once made it obvious that he had feelings for Skye, not in all the years they had been together. However, what hurt the most was Skye's feelings for Marshall. It hadn't just been a spur on the moment thing. She confessed to having them for a long time._

_It had always Marshall. Never Chase. Never him._

* * *

"Sorry, Chase! Skye liked Marshall long before you made the wish, so don't you dare wish them apart!" Keldeo said sternly, but then he shook his head and said, "What am I saying? This story's been hammering in how much of a good friend Chase has been all this time, forcing himself to be happy whenever Marshall and Skye are around and continuing to give Marshall advice. So, of course, Chase makes the right decision."

* * *

_Skye would be free to persue again, but Marshall would be heartbroken. __Do I have a right to do that to my best friend? He's so… happy…_

_He closed his eyes, growling. "Damnit, what am I thinking? I can't do this…"_

_He couldn't. Not to either of them._

* * *

"The only problem is that the paw is brainwashing him!" Keldeo complained.

* * *

_When it was way past midnight, Chase still couldn't put down the Monkey's Paw. It was like it was tempting him to use it in his mind. No matter what wish he wanted to do, all that went into his head was the idea of splitting Marshall and Skye apart. Deep down, he wanted to do it. However, he knew this was wrong in every level._

* * *

"Mr. White had to be forced by his wife to make another wish! The paw didn't make him use it. It's not like the One Ring," Keldeo complained, but then he relented and said, "Aw man, what am I doing. It's an adaptation. HavocHound already increased the wishes to five, so he's free to give it whatever extra powers he wants, I suppose. I just wish he'd written it so it didn't seem like Chase is just some kind of pawn. First the evil dog hypnotizes him, and now the monkey's paw is messing with his mind too? Ease off on the power of suggestion!"

Keldeo relented a bit and said, "Although, maybe it's better this way, because the other wishes Chase was thinking of could easily turn out even _worse_."

* * *

_He could wish for money to help the Paw Patrol pay for better gear and equipment. _

* * *

"Someone dies and the money comes from the life insurance, just like in the original story."

* * *

_There was also getting superpowers to become a super hero to fight crime. _

* * *

"Chase goes mad with power and takes over or destroys the world. Either that or the powers have some kind of drawback."

* * *

_He could ask for world peace and end all suffering around the world. _

* * *

"A fascist dictator could take over the entire world and create a dystopia society that _technically _is at peace even if everyone is unhappy under Big Brother's constant watch. It's freedom vs safety. It's better to have a balance rather than one or the other."

* * *

_Heck, I can even wish I was president_

* * *

**_"NO!"_** Keldeo suddenly shouted loudly, "No! Seriously, Chase, you do not want to be president! All you have to do is watch the news and it becomes obvious that being President of the United States is the worst job in the world. Everyone is watching you, you have to make insanely hard decisions, you have to watch every word you say, and at least 50% of the country hates you at any given time! Seriously, it's not worth it."

"So, after being kept up so late, Chase goes out and eavesdrops on Marshall and Skye."

* * *

_"Hey, Skye?"_

_"Yes?" asked the cockapoo, tilting her head._

_"… Why did you fall in love with a pup like me?" asked Marshall, rubbing his neck. "I'm not exactly the bravest or the most balanced. Heck, I'm a nerd in some ways. Why didn't you fall for somebody like Chase?"_

_Skye paused in her thoughts before replying. "To be honest, I kinda did have a thing for Chase early on…"_

_Chase's eyes widened._

_"But… it didn't seem like he was interested," replied Skye before smiling at her boyfriend. "So, I turned my attention to you. Plus, there are some traits you have that Chase doesn't."_

_"How? Besides Pup-Fu, and running, Chase is better at me in everything," replied Marshall, tilting his head._

_"He doesn't have the kindness that you give," replied Skye, smiling. "While Chase is passionate about being a leader and keeping people safe, your passionate about keeping people happy and helping others outside of duty. You also have a smile that he doesn't." Skye sighed. "I'm sure under Chase I would be happy… but I think with you I would be happier."_

* * *

"An important detail here is this was all _still_ way before the monkey's paw showed up," Keldeo said, "This wish didn't make any of this happen. If anything, it was that actions of Marshall and Chase themselves that brought Marshall and Skye together. Think about it: Marshall bought a book for advice, and then Chase encouraged him to talk to the girl her liked. Chase literally told Marshall to do it! This was also _before_ Chase made the wish. This all goes along with the possibility that the monkey's paw wasn't magic and this was all coincidence. This all could have happened _without_ the wish. Yes, one of the fingers folded, but that could have just happened when Chase buried it."

Keldeo sighed, "But, in spite of all this, Chase takes Skye's remark too seriously and goes back to make his second wish, which I don't think is completely out of character here. Chase is under a lot of stress, regret, and over all misery, and after eavesdropping on them like this, it makes sense that he'd make an irrational decision based on emotion."

* * *

_"I wish Marshall and Skye were no longer together."_

_And with that said, the second finger folded._

* * *

_**Raphael: **__"Are you an idiot? Wait, let me rephrase that. You're an idiot!"_

"Chase, the evil dog gave you an ominous warning, and your first wish backfired big time!" Keldeo shouted angrily, "And even if you don't believe in magic, shouldn't you know about the whole_ 'be careful what you wish for because wishes always go horribly wrong in 99% of stories written about wishes' _plot. At the very least be more specific with your wish. Why not say something like, _'I wish Skye would dump Marshall and hook up with me.' _But nope! You _literally_ had to make a wish that is just _begging_ for someone to die!

_**Hiro-san: **__"STUPID! YOU'RE SO STUPID!"_

Keldeo sighed, "So, the question is, who's gonna die? Marshall or Skye? Well, if this fanfic follows the original story, Marshall will die and then Skye will find out about the paw and demand Chase wish him back to life. Or maybe HavocHound will switch it up and kill off Skye, which might be even more impactful because now we got two boys crying about their crush."

Keldeo froze for a moment, then he said, "Why am I doing this? Why am I talking about innocent characters dying? How did my life come to this?"

Victini flew over and said, "Keldeo, it's a story based off of _The Monkey's Paw._ Someone dying is a requirement. There's nothing wrong with you acknowledging that fact."

Keldeo considered Victini's words, then he nodded and said, "Yeah, I guess you're right. But I think I'm gonna be really happy when this is over."

"So, two days later, the PAW Patrol goes out on a mission to help a family who got lost in the woods."

* * *

_"Thanks for coming, Pups. We got a few lost people in the woods today," replied Ryder as he pressed his pup pad, causing the big TV screen to appear. It showed a family of four walking through the trees happily. "A family by the name of Johnson was taking a nature walk when they came across a bear." An angry bear suddenly appeared in front of the family. and they all scattered in different directions. "The four of them fled, but they got separated along the way. The father is currently with Jake and Everest who reported what's going on."_

_"Is that bear still in the area, Ryder?" asked Skye, looking worried._

_"We don't know, but its best to be cautious just in case. Someone could end up getting hurt," replied Ryder. "Remember, you just need to stay still when dealing with a bear or play dead to make it go away."_

_"Like this? Blah!" Rubble flipped on his back, making a funny face with his tongue sticking out much to the amusement of the rest._

* * *

"Foreshadowing!" Munna shouted as she flew in

". . .Yeah. That," Keldeo said.

"Really?" Victini asked with an exasperated expression on his face, "You're still doing that old gag."

"Hmph! Well, I think it's funny!" Munna said defiantly.

Victini flew over to Munna and put a paw on her backside, and said as he led her off, "Sure, _you _think it's funny, but how about we think about what _everyone else _thinks is funny. . ."

Keldeo turned his attention from the pair as they left and said, "So, we get a cool sequence of the pups finding the family, and it really does feel like a mission from the show. HavocHound really knows how to capture the spirit of the show and make it even better. Skye even has a clever strategy for taking care of the bear!"

* * *

_"Uh, Skye? You coming with that plan?" asked Chase, knowing his net wouldn't hold the bear off forever."_

_"__Right on your six, Chase!" __said Skye, just as she flew overhead. Her chopper claw was already activated and carrying something._

_Using his goggles, Chase was able to zoom and notice it was a beehive. "Wait, if that's a beehive. Where are the… oh!" Not to far from Skye, right behind her tail, was a swarm of bees trying to chase down their lost honey._

_"And release!" shouted Skye as she let go of the hive. "Bombs away!"_

_Just as the bear managed to get the net off, it felt something smack its head from above, before tasting an all too familiar sweet taste. However, before he could enjoy it, the sting of a dozen angry bees followed by even more of the swarm caused him to yelp in pain. No longer carrying about anything else, the bear ran away as fast as he could with the swarm of stingers behind him._

* * *

Keldeo nodded and said, "Okay. The mission is over, so I guess now it's time for a character to die now."

Keldeo shuddered and said, "Ugh. I feel weird saying that. But, just like Vicitni said, it's a story with the monkey's paw in it, so there's going to be death in it."

* * *

_It was like a lighting bolt that struck from the bushes nearby without anybody noticing it. Time seemed to slow down as something long, black, and mouth open wide struck with its fangs loose until it buried its bite deep into Marshall's neck. A scream erupted from Marshall unlike anything Chase had ever heard of, but in an instant, he tackled his best friend in vain to save him._

_"GAAAAH!"__ screamed Marshall as the black snake held onto his bleeding neck, despite the dalmatian attempts to shake him off. "Get it of me! __GET IT OFF ME!" _

_"Marshall!" shouted Skye from above in terror as she watched below._

* * *

Keldeo blinked, and he said, "Okay, so it's a bite from a venomous snake that does it. Well, I _guess_ that's less painful than being mangled in factory machinery, right?"

"How about when I cut Lyra open with a shovel?" Insane Applejack said.

"Well, I- GAH!" Keldeo shouted as he turned sharply to see Insane Applejack standing nearby, still looking demented and smirking, "Aren't you supposed to be asleep!"

The mare's face twisted into disgust as she said, "That potion was way too powerful for your stupid little Pokemon moves."

Munna flew by nonchalantly and Yawned.

"Biscuits, you pyscho with insomnia, I don't wanna review _An Apple Sleep Experiment_!" Keldeo shouted angrily, "And why are you so angry, anyway? Someone just died a horrific death, you should be all over that. We even get a funeral, because HavocHound is obsessed with them. Seriously, nearly all of HavocHound's fanfics have funerals in them. And the ones that don't still have to mention someone dying sometime before the story's events. Is HavocHound from Skyrim or something?"

_**Jon Battle-Born:**_ _"You know what's wrong with Skyrim these days? Everyone is obsessed with death!"_

* * *

_All the pup of Paw Patrol, including Everest and Tracker, were in the front row with Ryder, Katie, Carlos, and Jake. Chase, from his seat could see so many people and picked out more memorable ones such as Captain Turbot and his cousin, Alex and his Grandpa, Farmer's Al and Yumi, The Princess and Earl of Barkingburg, Ace, Luke Stars, and Daring Danny X. Even old enemies like Mayor Humdinger and Sweetie were among the crowd, looking just as sad._

_It only showed just how much not only Marshall had touched the lives of so many people, but how Paw Patrol did. It only further pushed the dagger of guilt into Chase's heart, however, as every tear, sob, and sniff for Marshall was because of him. He did his best not to cry on his tuxedo, but it was getting very hard to do so. His thoughts were interrupted as Ryder walked over to the casket, with every step taken as if he had a huge weight on his shoulders._

_Despite having seen the body, and even helped prepare it, Chase was still feeling the urge to look away as Ryder slowly opened the casket for all to see. Many let you gasps or sobs, including Skye who was being held by Everest, silently crying with her._

_Ryder had spent a fortune making sure Marshall's body looked good for the funeral. It was so clean that it was hard to believe that he once had a purple face while in a pile of blood, saliva, and urine. Katie had groomed him to look like a prince as he lay inside the white velvet cushions, his head resting on a large blue pillow. Some of his favorite toys and tools, like his teddy bear and pup tag, were placed around him as well as flowers. His suit was light red, matching well with his spotted fur, as his paws folded gently over his stomach. If it wasn't for his eyes closed, the bright smile the corpse was displaying would have made you think Marshall was alive and well._

_The Mayor came up on stage, dressed in black, and began her speech. Chase didn't listen to it. All he could do was focus on the peaceful corpse that lay before him. Everything about this was wrong. Marshall shouldn't be dead. No, Chase deserved to die. He had wished this, and it happened, and he couldn't change anything._

* * *

Insane Applejack rolled her eyes and said, "Dang weak, sentimental sap. And you call that horrific death? Horrific death my hoof, Marshall's death ain't gruesome enough for my taste. Not enough blood and guts, not enough pain and suffering, and it was way too fast. And his body weren't torn up enough neither. And this part here gets on my dang nerves even more:"

* * *

_I killed him, __thought Chase. The same thought that he had for the past four days. Rubbing his tear-soaked eyes, Chase looked at the photo of him and Marshall at Paw Patrol's First Anniversary. It was when the two promised to be the best friends and rescuers until the very end. __And I betrayed him… I got him killed… I wished it to happen…_

_Chase had all but thrown the Monkey's Paw into the ocean when he came home. He cursed it. He cursed the gypsy dog. He cursed his wish, but he cursed himself the most. Every single moment he was awake, he could only hear the cries of Marshall screaming in pain while Skye pleaded for him to save the dalmatian. At night, he saw the last moments of his best friend's life before his very eyes over and over again._

* * *

"All this dang guilt and despair, throwing the paw into the ocean like that. Pathetic," Insane Applejack spat, "He shoulda given in to madness and used the paw's power to spread death all aroun' Adventure Bay. Chase needs to truly become the monster he was always meant to be, just as I had. For you see, me 'n Chase, were the same."

Insane Applejack's face regained it's slasher smile, and she declared loudly, "Ah am the inevitable! Ah am the harbinger of fear and the messenger of truth that fools like you, the PAW Patrol, and the Elements of Harmony silence with hope!"

Suddenly, Insane Applejack let out a loud yawn, and she fell flat on her face and fell asleep again, snoring louder than ever.

As Munna and Victini returned, Keldeo nodded and said, "Thanks for the Yawn, Munna. Now, come on. We're gonna take a break now, which should give us enough time to lovk up this crazy pony somewhere so I can finish this review without any more interruptions."

"Fine be me!" Victini said, "Just as long as we don't have to build a small army of robots to contain her."

Munna shot Victini an annoyed look and said, "Yeah, Keldeo and I already referenced the Damian Stone saga from last season. Let's just move on and focus on the present and future, okay."

"Says the Pokemon who tried to destroy the world in _Pokemon_ _Mystery Dungeon: Gate to Infinity_," Victini muttered.

"Shut-up, Mr. V-Wheel!" Munna shot back.

Keldeo groaned in annoyance and said, "Yeah, this really is a good time to take a break."

* * *

_**We'll be right back!**_

.


	3. Comedic Skit- 1

_**Terrifying Rap Battles of Halloween. . .**_

* * *

A brown lion with a black mane and a scar across his right eye lounged lazily on a rock, smiling smugly with his chin rested on his paw.

* * *

_**Scar**_

* * *

A portal of dark purple energy suddenly appeared before the lion.

* * *

_**Vs.**_

* * *

A Gerudo male with orange hair, grey armor, and a red cape stepped out the portal and raised his right fist, which had the glowing symbol of the Triforce on it.

* * *

_**Ganondorf!**_

_**Begin!**_

**Ganondorf:**

G-A-N, O-N-D,

O-R-F,

Hey there! Hi there! Ho there, Hahahahahaha!

Welcome to Hyrule, "Waste"

Like all your plans, this will backfire

My flow will devour your flesh and then burn your bones with fire

You say your scam is murky?

My Malice is corruptive and deadly

You bear the mark of a prank that went sour

I'm marked with the Triforce of Power

You weren't _Prepared_ when your minions backstabbed you with their teeth

My servants are mindless monsters, harbingers of darkness and grief

Hercules just called, he wants his lion skin returned

I decimated all of Hyrule! You caused a famine, then got burned.

**Scar:**

Nice mane, troll. You're like Mufasa as a goblin

Come closer and I'll open up. . . that hole in your chest again

You shake your little magic triangle at me?

My claws are always out! Always at the ready

To rip a Gerudo king's face off

Compared to me you're a royal knockoff

Either you kidnap a pretty little princess, or the princess gives you a hundred-year time out

Such a coward, you don't fight your own battles; seriously, what was that Zant guy all about?

So long live the Gerudo king, mummified underneath Hyrule Castle in never-ending torment

Aren't you the one who sucked in every single Super Smash Bros. Brawl tournament?

I'm ten times the king and ten times the villain you'll ever be, the timeline doesn't matter.

I'll come at you in _live_ _action! _Sure, Link can't talk, but he rocks the mic better.

* * *

_**Ganondorf suddenly transformed into his Ganon form from Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.**_

* * *

**Ganon:**

Look at the size comparison, how could possibly win, you fool?!

I'll impale your brains and drown you in the shallow end of your gene pool

I'm evil incarnate, and I don't try to steal wives

Yet Zira loved you, but lost all nine lives

My timeline's less twisted than your cannon

Hey _Lion! Guard _against Calamity Ganon!

You look and sound and act like a mascot for Sephora

Your live action remake was even less desired than _Dora the Explorer!_

* * *

_**Ganon breathed fire on Scar, and Scar roared out loud as his body caught fire and turned into his fiery spirit form from The Lion Guard.**_

* * *

**Ghost Scar:**

Those words would've burned, but I'm already on fire

The results of turning your back on me are usually quite dire

I don't have time for this, I'm burning the Pride Lands faster than your Guardian's could

You're a big pig with bad breath, at least Pumba would taste good

You're not original, so meet your _Demise_

I'll claim your mummified head as a prize

Alas poor Ganon, I knew him well

But now he's taken my place in Hell.

* * *

_**Who Won?**_

_**You Decide!**_

_**Terrifying Rap Battles of Halloween!**_

* * *

_(Based on __**Freddy Kreuger vs Wolverine **by **ERB**__)_


	4. 2- Monkey's Paw by HavocHound - Part 2

_**It's**_ _**terror time again**_

_**And you just might die of fright**_

Keldeo stood up on his hindlegs in his Resolute Form, his Secret Sword shining brightly.

_**It's**_ _**a terrifying time**_

**Keldeo the Critic- Season Six**

**Episode 2: **_**Monkey's Paw **_**by HavocHound**

"So, a month passes after Marshall's funeral, and while all the character's miss Marshall, Skye is still broken up over it," Keldeo said.

* * *

Since_ Marshall's death, she hadn't_ _smiled, flipped, or done anything but mourn. She would sit in her house alone, or stare at the sea at night. There were regular trips to Marshall's grave and during missions she was often quiet unless needing to address something. It made everyone worry for her, but all she asked was space._

_Today, Skye had shown interest in a movie and Chase bought the tickets and food for them to share. He suggested the others come too, but they weren't_ _interested in a romance flick. Throughout the film, Chase saw Skye in full attention, most likely imagining_ _herself and Marshall as the couple who struggle through hardship and deceit to have their happy ending. At the end he heard her whisper, "Why couldn't we have had that, Marshall?"_

* * *

"Okay, let's move away from the sad parts and focus on something I found pretty smart on HavocHound's part," Keldeo said, "You see, earlier in the story after Chase made his second wish, he had a brief conversation with Rocky."

* * *

_"Hey, Chase? You alright?" asked Rocky, walking over towards the police pup who grumbled a hello. "You seem really grumpy today. Everything okay?"_

_"I'm fine," replied Chase, closing his eyes. "I just didn't get enough sleep last night."_

_"Well, if you're sure," replied Rocky, shrugging as he started to walk away before he paused and sighed. "Does this have anything to do with Marshall and Skye being together?"_

_Chase's eyes went wide open as he slowly turned to Rocky who was giving him a look that said_ _"don't lie to me". The German Shepard open his mouth to deny it but sighed and whimpered. "How long?"_

_"To be honest? I noticed it only recently. You always look spaced out when your staring at them, even on missions," answered Rocky as he sat down beside his friend. "Did… did you like Skye too?" Chase nodded his head. "Wow, I guess that explains a lot. Your behavior and all, I mean. Long time?" Chase nodded again. "I see."_

_"… Why him and not me?" asked Chase, shaking his head. "I don't want to keep thinking this, but I can't help but ask it every day. What is it about him that she likes?"_

_"Well, he's funny. Kind. Loves to play a lot. I don't know, other then_ _that I guess it was just meant to be?" asked Rocky, shrugging. "I've never been in love, so I wouldn't know what to say." He then stared at Chase with a worried look. "You aren't going to do anything drastic are you?"_

* * *

"Rocky is a _really _good supporting character in this story," Keldeo said with a smile, "As is seen in this scene here as well."

* * *

_"Well, she's got to move on!" shouted Rocky, stomping his paw. "I miss Marshall too! Hell, I'd give anything to have him spray me with water one more time, but we can't keep mourning like this!"_

_"Will we ever be over it?" asked Chase, closing his eyes. "Zuma still gets nightmares. Rubble still sleeping at Ryder's beside. Even Ryder stares at Marshall's photo at night when he thinks nobody is looking" He looked at his own paw. The paw that held that Monkey's Paw that murdered his best friend. "I can't stop wonder what if's… and Skye looks half a second ready to break or rage against the heavens." He looked at Rocky and tilted his head. "How are you able to get over this so quickly?"_

_"Because if nobody does then we're never going to be happy again," whispered Rocky, shaking his head. "Look, nothing can't bring Marshall back. We all know this, but do you really think he would want us to be miserable like this? I'm_ _trying the best I can to help the others, but you've only focused on Skye? Why not Zuma and Rubble? They look up to you as their big brother. Ryder's your owner so you have responsibility to help him too."_

* * *

"Rocky is the voice of reason in this story, which kind of makes him the most likeable character," Keldeo said, "He doesn't make stupid decisions, he doesn't get killed, he's not a hapless bystander, and he's not angry or depressed all the time. But I suppose it makes sense, seeing as he's supposed to be The Smart Guy of the group."

"So, after that scene-."

* * *

_H-how did it... what?!_

_He threw it into the ocean. He threw it as far as he could throw it, but... here it was... standing right before him. He shook his head, growling. He was really starting to hate this magical... cursed... thing. He grabed_ _it and burying it in the backyard again. He wasn't_ _going to think about it, hell he wasn't even going to look at it or use it ever again._

_That was a promise._

* * *

"No! You blew it!" Keldeo shouted, "We could've had this clever thing where it's a mystery if the paw was really magic or not, but nope! It teleported back to Chase, so that means it's magic."

Keldeo sighed and pouted for a moment, then he said, "Oh well, it _is _an adaptation after all. I understand that HavocHound wanted to go full on supernatural for his version of the story, and that's fine. Instead of judging this story for what I want it to be, I should be judging it for what it is. I mean, sure, HavocHound _could_ have just had Chase bury it somewhere far away and deep so he could just go back to it when he decides that he _needs_ to make another wish, but if HavocHound

wants it to be magic, then that's fine."

Keldeo smiled and said, "I'm honestly excited to see where this story will go on from here."

* * *

_**"AND IF YOU DO IT, RYDER, I'LL censored QUIT! YOU CAN KISS MY censored GOODBYE 'CAUSE**_ _**I WILL LEAVE! I censored MEAN IT!"**_

* * *

Keldeo fell down Anime style, then he sprang back up and said, "HavocHound, do you have any idea how lazy it is to just throw profanity in dialogue just to show that a character is angry. This doesn't even make any sense? I don't see any of these characters knowing swears like this. Maybe she could've gotten away with mentioning the fires of Hell, but that's it. If you ask me, adding swears just makes this whole thing look pathetic and immature. Wouldn't it be more dramatic and impactful if Skye expressed her anger without swearing. Like, I dunno, compared her rage to a roaring jet engine. Or maybe she could've mentioned the names of some famous evil or demonic dogs like Zuul of Cerberus. Anything is better than just throwing curses in there!"

* * *

_Ryder sighed and rubbed his forehead. "I was going to tell you a week from now… but I guess I can't keep it any longer." He took a deep breath and said something that made all the pups freeze. "I'm thinking of getting a new firepup."_

_"… you… you're replacing Marshall?" asked Chase, muttering the words yet feeling his heart slowly break. In highensight, he should have seen this coming. They needed a firepup. They couldn't_ _keep doing Marshall's job forever. Ye, if they got a new pup… it would really mean that Marshall was gone. Someone new would take his place. Live in his home and live with them._

_Suddenly, Skye's anger all seemed to make_ _sense._

_"I'm not replacing, Marshall," replied Ryder as he hugged his four whimpering pals. "Marshall will always be a part of our family, even if he isn't here. But we need to be at our full strength for the town and anybody who needs our help. Skye found out from the papers on various dogs I've looked into who might be able to fill the position and… she wasn't happy."_

* * *

"So then Chase makes another stupid decision and tries to talk to Skye after that. Why is Chase so dumb in this story?" Keldeo asked

* * *

_"Oh, will you just leave me alone, Chase!" shouted Skye, getting up in his face. He backed up a bit as she continued, "You think you can just make this better?! Well, you can't! Marshall is dead! Gone forever! And Ryder's going to replace him with some new pup who will never replace him in my eyes! I mean it, Chase! I will leave! I'll_ _just go somewhere, and I don't care where! I wish he never died! I wish…" She growled and glared at him. "I wish the snake bit you instead of him. I wish you were dead instead!"_

* * *

"Okay, here's the funny or I guess ironic thing here," Keldeo said with a half-grin, "If this story followed the original properties of the monkey's paw and had it give only 3 wishes, the story could probably end here. Chase would use the paw to make Skye's wish come true, time would rewind, Chase would be dead, Marshall would still be alive, and no one would ever know the difference. They'd all still be sad, but at least Skye wouldn't be as much as a wreck as she is now.

But, the paw has five wishes in this story, so Chase actually makes what I think is actually a _smart_ wish this time around."

* * *

_"I wish Skye was happy again."_

_And the third finger folded._

* * *

Keldeo nodded, "Okay, still a little vague, Seriously, you'd think Chase would've learned by now to make his wishes as specific and detailed and possible. But, at least this wish is purely positive. Sure, there's the question of _how _Skye will become happy, but I really don't see any problems with this wish."

* * *

_Exiting his pup house, Chase made his way to the Lookout where the others were already arriving. All except Skye that is. They lined up in front of their food and water bowls as Ryder went already to work filling them up. They all greeted each other while patiently waiting. Just as they were about to dig in, the doors opened and everyone looked to find a nervous Skye walking towards Ryder. She stopped in front of him, looking at him with her tear stained eyes as Ryder knelt down, calmy waiting for her to speak._

_"I'm sorry…" Skye whispered, lowering her head. "You're right. I… I know we need to replace Marshall… It's… It's just that…"_

_Ryder's answer was to gently hug her and bring her close to his chest. "I know. I miss him too, Skye. I wish he was here… but he's not. It's hard to accept that, but we have to."_

_Skye, to her credit, didn't sob out in tears, but gently nodded her head and sighed. For the first time, since Marshall's death, a smile appeared on her muzzle which made the others pups sigh in relief. Chase couldn't help but smile as well._

_"You know, it's been a long time since we did anything as a group," said Skye, shaking her tail as she looked at the boys with excitement in her eyes. "Why don't we go to the beach and hang out all day?"_

_"Hey, yeah! That sounds like fun! I'm game!" shouted Zuma, ruffing in agreement._

_"I think having some fun would be a good idea," seconded Chase, nodding his head._

_"Then I guess we'll have a beach day," replied Ryder as he got up from his knees. "I'll start getting things ready. You pups enjoy your meal."_

_"Thanks, Ryder," the five of them replied as they dug in._

_Chase had already begun when Skye nudged him for his attention. Facing her, a small smile appeared as she whispered, "I'm sorry about yesterday. Forgive me?"_

_"Yeah, don't worry about it," replied Chase, giving back a smile of his own. "You okay?"_

_"Yeah, I think I'll be okay," replied Skye before digging in._

_Chase couldn't help but cheer in his head. Looks like this wish might work._

* * *

Keldeo smiled and said, "Okay, this looks fine. Nothing bad's going on. The gang has a fun day and everything. But it turns out that Skye feels that she needs to leave the PAW Patrol in order to move on."

* * *

_"The others will need you, Chase," replied Skye as she got up._

_"Wait… are you… are you still thinking of leaving?" asked Chase, in horror._

_"I am…" Skye nodded. "I… I can't do it anymore. I just can't. I need to leave."_

_"Skye, just give it a few more days. Let's talk to Ryder! We can-" he was silenced by Skye's paw on his lips._

_"It's okay, Chase. Its for the best. I can't be here anymore because everything reminds me of him," Skye answered as she sighed. "I'm going to a place where I can be happy again. A place that won't let me wake up in tears knowing my love is dead. I need this, Chase. I need it so badly." She then looked him in the eyes and begged. "Please, don't tell the others. They'll know in the morning, but for today… let's make it a fun day."_

_He looked into her eyes and realized she was serious. His thoughts turn back to his wish. Was this really the best way to make Skye happy? To let her go? He still didn't know where, but Skye had always been welcomed to join Ace should she want to pursue a career in stunt flying. Maybe she needs this… maybe she really needs to be away to be happy…_

_He closed his eyes and nodded in defeat. "Okay… but promise me we'll still see each other from time to time?"_

_Skye bit her lip and nodded. "Yeah, we will."_

_Chase couldn't help but feel like she just lied to him as they walked back to their friends._

* * *

Keldeo had a huge frown on his face. "You know, I was gonna pretend to be all ignorant and act surprised when it happens, but no. NO! I'm not stupid, unlike Chase in this story. It is so obvious that Skye is suicidal here. But Chase is so blind to the obvious signs that it just drives me crazy! I mean, he's a cop! Shouldn't he recognize these signs and have Ryder or someone monitor her? Biscuits, it's _Zuma's Fear _all over again! Actually, no, it's _worse _this time around because in _Zuma's Fear _they at least put Zuma on suicide watch, only they weren't careful enough and Zuma slipped away. But here, it doesn't even occur to anyone that Skye might do something drastic. Why!?"

Keldeo huffed angrily and said, "So, the next morning, Skye's dead, and of _course_ Zuma's finds her first because everything that HavocHound made happen to him in _Zuma's Fear _wasn't bad enough."

* * *

_Chase had never heard Zuma scream in such a way before. Never had the fearless pup he had known looked so terrified. Rushing to his side, Chase held him and tired to clam him down, but Zuma continued to yell as if the world had ended._

_Looking in the same direction, Chase felt everything in him stop as he stared at the figure hanging _

_from the branch. A single noose tied around her neck, Skye swung back and forth with her eyes closed and her smile stretched as far as it could. Never had she had such a happy smile._

* * *

"Was this a suicide or did the Joker kill her with Joker Gas?" Keldeo asked, and he stomped his hooves angrily, "Yeah! I made a joke there! I know I _should_ be horrified by this, but I'm too angry right now! Chase is so blind to what's right in front of him! You would think that a character who is for all intents and purposes a fully trained and certified police officer in his own universe would be smart enough to tell the signs of someone who doesn't want to live anymore, especially after that person recently had the love of their life die right in front of her!"

Keldeo narrowed his eyes and said, "And don't you dare argue that he's just a dog or something like, because HavocHound has made it clear that the PAW Patrol, especially Chase, is legit and professional in his stories. The first paragraph of the story hammers in how serious Chase's job is!"

* * *

_There was a lot you could say about Paw Patrol Police Officer and Squad Leader, Chase. You could say he was a natural leader, brave, daring, athletic, popular, friendly, and even childish at times, but he'll vigorously deny it. Of course, one word all his friends always said that came to their minds was 'workaholic'. It wasn't that Chase didn't know how to have fun, or even relax, but did tend to get too caught up in acting as a professional at times to the point where he often forget when he didn't need to. Whether it was training, patrolling, planning new team tactics, testing equipment, or even cleaning the Lookout up, Chase had a bad habit of getting too caught up in the moment._

* * *

Keldeo depended his voice to make it sound more like Chase and said, _"Yeah, Skye's been an emotional wreck since Marshall died right in front of her and cursed out Ryder, and now she's talking cryptically about leaving us and going to a mysterious 'place' where she can be happy. Yeah, I'm sure she'll be fine. _What are you, a moron?!"

Keldeo huffed and puffed angrily, and he said, "And does this even count? The wish, I mean. Sure, I guess Skye is happy in Puppy Heaven? And no, I didn't make that up. Marshall preaches about it in HavocHound's first PAW Patrol story, _Marshall Gone Missing. _Anyway, I still think this is kinda like cheating on the monkey's paw part."

"So of course, Chase hates his life even more and ends up missing Skye's funeral. But then our favorite supporting character shows up to. . ."

Keldeo frowned and shrugged, "I was gonna say something along the lines of 'fixes things', but come on, there's no fixing what's just happened in this story. Things are so bad, I can't really get invested anymore. At least in _Zuma's Fear _and _Zuma's Courage _there's still a goal and a possible resolution to all the horrible stuff that happened."

* * *

_Rocky muttered something under his breath, but Chase didn't bother trying to listen in. "Look… I get it… really, I do." Chase slowly turned around to face him. "You think you're the only one whose suffered from this? Zuma and Rubble are gone, Chase."_

_"G-gone?" asked Chase, standing up in shock. "W-What do you mean?!"_

_"They're traumatized. Ryder took them to a mental hospital," sighed Rocky, lowering his head. "There's even talk of Animal Care getting involved and having us being removed from Ryder's care because of all that's happened. They think he's an unfit owner."_

_"That's bullshit!" shouted Chase, stomping his paw. "Ryder's been the best owner in the entire world! He loves us! We love him!"_

_"Well, they think two dead pups, one from suicide, and two more in fragile mental states are proof enough that he isn't. Everest is okay since Jake is her owner, but we're not going to be so lucky. We'll be sent to separate homes. Paw Patrol… is finished," muttered Rocky, tears in his eyes._

_"No…" whispered Chase, whimpering. He didn't care about his own fate anymore, but he did care about the others. "Who… who will Ryder have left… his parents are gone… he has no family…"_

_"I don't know…" Rocky said, shaking his head. "I just… wanted you to know…because sometime soon… we'll be leaving here…" He slowly got up and moved over to the door. Pausing he, looked over his shoulder and muttered, "You should talk to him when you get the chance."_

* * *

"So Chase is so torn up that he decides to just go ahead and tell Ryder about the Monkey's Paw," Keldeo said, and his eyebrows raised and he said, "And, I've got to admit, Ryder's response is very good. It's not patronizing, it's not arrogant, it's not annoyed. It makes sense."

* * *

_"Chase, please… I know you want to blame yourself, but you're not to blame for Marshall and Skye's death," said Ryder, shaking his head. "Monkey Paw's are just superstition. The gypsy was just messing with you to sell you it and it's got you acting like this. Chase, you're just imagining it. Trust me."_

* * *

"The only problem is that we _know _the paw is magic because it teleported back to him!" Keldeo complained, "If we hadn't gotten that scene, then Ryder could have a point. Everything that has happened so far _could _have been a series of terrible coincidences. This could've been really interesting if it weren't for that."

"So then Chase goes to sleep and-."

* * *

_"God… I wish they were alive again," whispered Chase as he slowly closed his eyes._

_A fourth finger folded._

* * *

Keldeo looked severely annoyed by this. "Okay, that's just not fair. He wasn't even holding it! Was

he touching? It seemed more like a prayer, anyway," Keldeo complained.

Keldeo then frowned and said, "Okay, you know the subtlety of the original story by W. W. Jacobs? Well, HavocHound finally decides to throw it all out with this next scene featuring the evil Sweetie."

* * *

_Lowering her rump over Skye's grave, she sighed in relief as she began to mark her territory on the tombstone. "That's right bitch. You're mine even in death." She made sure to stop half way to save some for Marshall._

_Humming herself the Paw Patrol's famous catch song in a funeral march tone, she failed to notice that some of the dirt over Marshall's grave stone was… moving. Sweetie was ignorant of this however, as she moved to lower her rump to spray her urine, not seeing the paw that slowly began come out._

* * *

_"HERO PUP GRAVES DEFILED! ROYAL PET FOUND DEAD AT SCENE!_

_Last night, Mr. and Mrs. Ling were going to visit the grave of their son who died in the Iraq War when they saw that the graves of our beloved lost heroes, Marshall and Skye of Paw Patrol, had been opened; their coffins smashed. Lying there, torn from limb to limb, were the remains of one Royal Pet Sweetie of Barkingburg. Authorities quickly arrived at the scene to see if there were any traces of the missing bodies or the thieves that took them and murdered the young pup._

_"She was torn apart like a piece of meat. You could see the teeth marks everywhere on her body with her blood and guts scattered all over the place," reported Officer McMadon. "I even heard that there are bits of her, both inside and out, that are missing."_

_Neither Ryder of Paw Patrol or the Princess of Barkingburg have given a statement yet._

* * *

"So, yeah! No question about it. They're zombies. It's _Left 4 Dead _PAW Patrol edition," Keldeo said emotionlessly, "I'm sorry, but I'm just totally depressed by this point. Seriously, I am _not _enjoying this story. At all."

"So Chase examines the crime scene and realizes that his wish must have come true, so he grabs the paw and-."

* * *

_He had to wait until Rocky and Ryder were fast asleep until he started searching for the cursed Monkey's Paw. Why is it that the one time I wish to see it the damn thing won't show up?!_

_After searching under his bowl for a fourth time, Chase fell to his back and started to breath heavily. He felt his heart skipping ever faster with each passing second. He wondered if this was what it was like to have a heart attack. "Damnit! Where is it! I need to know! I need to know!"_

* * *

"Why does this paw randomly get new powers as the story goes along?" Keldeo shouted, "So then we get a scene where Marshall and Skye attack the mental hospital where Rubble and Zuma are, and then Skye kills Zuma. WHY!?"

Keldeo turned into his Resolute Form and swung his Secret Sword wildly and he ranted, "The original came together in the third act, but this just falls apart in the third act! Why are they attacking Rubble and Zuma? Shouldn't they be attacking Chase and Ryder? Skye wished _Chase_ would die right after cursing out _Ryder_. Why are the innocent bystanders being targeted? So we can have Skye look like the Joker again?"

* * *

_She was smiling at him again. Only she was missing her skin and had all teeth. Her eyes were sullen and rotten. Her fur was dirty and grey. Her ears were ready to fall apart. Her nose was all but gone. He screamed, hoping to wake up._

_She dived forward._

_No matter how much he screamed she didn't stop smiling. Not when she tore out his throat. Or ate his heart. Or crushed his brain. She never once stopped smiling._

_And he never once stopped seeing it._

* * *

"Why so serious?" Insane Applejack said.

"Nope," Keldeo said, and he turned and fired a Focus Blast at the pony, sending her blasting off into the sky.

Keldeo powered down his Secret Sword and turned back into his normal form. Then he took several deep breaths, and said tensely, "I'm done with her. I'm done with this story. I'm done with everything at this point! So let's get this over with already!"

* * *

_The call came around the middle of the night. Mayor Goodway had reported that the asylum that Zuma and Rubble were in had been attacked according to the residents there. They had all but screamed for help before being cut off by the sounds of something eating them alive as their pleas of mercy echoed until the line went dead. Right after hearing that, the Mayor called Ryder and the remaining pups._

* * *

"So you send two pups and a kid? What the hay is wrong with you!?" Keldeo shouted with wide eyes, "Someone broke into an insane asylum and started slaughtering everyone inside, and you send two pups and a kid? I know they need to be there for the story to end, but couldn't you at least have them go in with some backup or something? You had Skye and Marshall take out the entire staff of this hospital, so why not have them take out a few human cops too? And don't tell me that it would be too action packed, because you already had Zuma get taken out by Skye."

Keldeo held up his right forehoof and said, "Actually, wait. Back up a minute. How could two pups do all this damage and kill that many people?" Keldeo stomped his forehoof back down and continued, "I know they're zombies, but come on! Even if they can't feel pain, they're not indestructible! Don't these people have guns or tasers or blunt objects? What about locking doors? Can these zombies walk through walls or something? Maybe they can. If the Monkey's Paw can teleport and brainwash its owner, anything is possible!"

* * *

_Sir, I think we should wait for back up," Chase suggested._

_"If it wasn't for the fact that Zuma and Rubble were here, I would agree with you Chase, but I lost two pups already and I'm not losing another two," Ryder remarked, gritting his teeth as his tone ended the conversation right there._

* * *

"If the people calling for help were killed in the middle of their call, I'm pretty sure Zuma and Rubble are already doomed," Keldeo said, "Ryder, you are putting the lives of your last two pups in danger. I suppose next you're gonna suggest splitting up!"

* * *

_Suddenly, the path split into two different hallways. Ryder looked at both directions before turning to his team. "We're going to split up.'_

* * *

"Insert meme of character calling someone stupid, an idiot, or a moron here," Keldeo said flatly, "I'm too tired of all this to find one."

* * *

_"Split up?! Ryder, that's how everyone dies in a horror movie!" Rocky shouted, whimpering. "Let's just leave! Zuma and Rubble are already dead by now! I don't want any of us to die either! Let's just leave, head home, and get the hell out of Adventure Bay! I don't want to lose you or Chase or even myself to… whatever the hell did this!"_

* * *

Keldeo sat up on his haunches and clapped his forehooves together, saying, "And here we have the best character in the movie demonstrating perfect Genre Savviness, not to mention basic common sense." Keldeo stopped clapping and frowned, "Too bad Ryder is even dumber than Chase!"

* * *

_"We're not going until we find Zuma and Rubble, Rocky! That's an order!" shouted Ryder, making the two back away. He realizes what he had done before closing his eyes. "I'm sorry… I'm just scared for them… if we find them, dead or alive, I promise we'll leave… I'll even let you pups pick a new home for us to live in, but please… just this one last time, let's rescue our friends."_

* * *

"I get it, I really do," Keldeo said calmly as he stood back up on his hooves, "Ryder is broken after losing Skye and Marshall and he doesn't want to loose Rubble and Zuma. Even though the death and destruction all around him screams that Rubble and Zuma are dead too, Ryder doesn't want to accept that. But the problem is that he's putting Chase and Rocky in danger too! Animal Care is right to get involved, Ryder's a terrible owner! I mean, the first thing they see when they walk into this place is a _literal pile of dead bodies! _Ryder! Use your brain!"

* * *

_Every instinct was telling Chase to just grab Ryder and run._

* * *

"First off, grab him how? He's a human, you're a pup. Do you mean catch him in your net and drag him out?" Keldeo asked, "Second, seeing as Ryder is leading you to almost certain death, I honestly wouldn't blame you if you and Rocky just ran out and left Ryder there. It's totally obvious that two pups and a kid are out of their league and should wait for SWAT or something. If Ryder's too. . .delusional, sad, blind, or whatever to see it, you shouldn't sacrifice your own lives just to follow along with him. And if you are gonna stay with him, _then at least don't split up!_"

Keldeo huffed and puffed impatiently, then he said, "You know, I'm already so fed up with all this stupidity that I'm just not in the mood for the blood and gorefest that this once potential-filled story devolves into, so I'm gonna just skim through it: Ryder finds Zuma's body, Rocky and Chase find Rubble's body, Skye kills Rocky, Chase smashes Skye with a lead pipe, Marshall kills Ryder, and- _oh this part is so stupid, _just watch._"_

* * *

_Chase stood up straight and raised his arms. "Go on. Finish it. Finish me! Just do it, Marshall! JUST COME AND KILL ME!"_

_In that sudden moment, a twist beyond fate itself, a part of the celling fell just at the right time and crushed Marshall's head in a wet squishing noise. Chase opened his eyes and felt his jaw dropped at the sight of his dead friend, again, twitching under the weight of the cement and rock that had fallen on his head and turned it into a squished melon. _

* * *

"How does that even work?" Keldeo said incredulously, "I mean, how? It's not like there was a battle scene with explosives or lasers or anything. The ceiling just randomly falls for no reason! Is this building a hundred years old or something? I'm so confused! I mean, maybe if they _had _waited for a SWAT team we could have gotten a scene where they try to use gunfire on the zombies but it doesn't work but the bullets somehow weaken the ceiling. Maybe a grenade launcher could get misfired or- _oh forget it, let's just end this already!_"

* * *

_In the middle of the entrance, with a bright light standing above it, was the Monkey's Paw. With only one finger left unfolded. _

* * *

"Okay, hold it!" Keldeo said, suddenly becoming much more invested in the review all of a sudden, "I almost forgot about this. Remember earlier when I told you to remember the scene where Marshall and Chase talk about burying the monkey's paw to let the monkey rest? Well, you see, the thing about the PAW Patrol universe is that most animal are highly intelligent. Dogs are the only ones that talk, but other animals are still as smart and self aware as they are. This includes monkeys. In fact, the cartoon has actually featured a monkey kingdom in the jungle ruled by a monkey queen named Mandy, who gets crowned in Season 3 Episode 15 _Tracker Joins the Pups_."

Keldeo leaned forward and said, "Therefore, I believe that the reason the monkey's paw is able to influence Chase and teleport around is because it's actually haunted by the ghost of the monkey that the paw came from. Who knows? Maybe the monkey was an evil past ruler of the monkey kingdom or some kind of evil witch doctor in the past. And you know what the sad part is? If the evil gypsy dog in the the beginning said something along these lines, then perhaps the events in this story and the monkey's paws new abilities would have made more sense and not come out of left field like they did. I know I complained about the Monkey's Paws new powers, but it wasn't because I disliked them. It's because they weren't explained. I believe that anything can work in a story as long as you are able to, an actually make the effort to, _explain it._"

Keldeo nodded, "Well, anyway, now Chase has gone out of his mind with rage and this point and does something he should have done when Marshall died."

* * *

_**"Everything is your fault! You did this! You did this to me! I hate you! I hate you! I hate you! I wish I never got you in the first place!"**_

_And just like that the last finger folded and a second later Chase was gone._

_A flicker of a light from the lights made the entire room dark before turning back on with no trace of him, nor the Monkey's Paw._

* * *

Keldeo shrugged and said, "So, that's it then. I suppose it's an okay ending after what we've experienced. We then go back in time to see Chase and Marshall walking towards the flea market before all of this, literally, HavocHound copy and pastes the beginning of the first chapter here. That's pretty clever. So, Chase doesn't get the paw, and everyone lives happily-."

* * *

_**HOOOONNNKKKK!**_

_Chase turned to see what the noise was but the moment he did a large SUV smashed into him and sent him sailing across the air before landing in a streak of his own blood._

* * *

"OHHHH, OF COURSE!" Keldeo shouted, "You just had to give it a bad ending, HavocHound! This _is Zuma's Fear _all over again, isn't it!"

Keldeo breathed out loudly through his nostrils, then he said, "So, we get _another _funeral scene, because HavocHound is obsessed with them. Seriously, I think he has a problem. I've never seen so many stories that have funerals in them. It's actually kind of weird. But, whatever. Chase is dead, Marshall and Skye get together in their grief, Marshall promises to make Chase proud as the new leader, and finally, finally, the story is ov-."

* * *

_However, unbeknownst to Marshall, the pups, or anybody there, a mysterious cloaked figure walked towards the casket. It was an elderly English Golden Retriever with one pale eye staring at Chase with a toothy grin; said set of teeth was missing a few too. She wore a purple cloak with a __hood covering half her face as she strolled forward as if on smoke. Nobody paid any attention to her despite her standing out. She stared at the body and smirked, "Oh dear. It seems you fallen to a terrible fate haven't you?"_

_She slowly drew out a single item. A paw. A monkey's paw that was fully closed. "You left this I'm afraid. Nobody escapes their fate or their sins. Not even in death." She gently laid the cursed item right beside Chase's head on his pillow and chuckled. "Sleep well my friend. Sleep well. And thank you for visiting my store."_

_And with that she left. Nobody noticed the paw lying there in the casket. Not when the final prayers were said and the casket was closed. It and Chase lay there in silence as he was slowly buried in his grave. He and the paw would remain together._

_Both in life and in death._

_**The end**_

* * *

Keldeo was dead silent for a long moment. Then he got up, turned, and walked off.

* * *

Morgana was in her tent, packing up her various macabre wares when she was surprised by the appearance of large golden ring right next to her. Keldeo jumped out of the ring in his Resolute Form and stomped over to the dog with fury burning in his eyes.

"The fate of their sins?!" Keldeo shouted, "_**The fate of their sins!? **_You kept Chase from leaving your tent, you forced him to buy one of your sick twisted objects, you manipulated him into buying the Monkey's Paw, and you _dare _talk about sins!?" Keldeo's Secret Sword burned brightly as he held it high, ready to cleave the dog in half.

In spite of all this, Morgana's expression never change from that of mild surprise, and it soon became an arrogant smirk as she said, "So. . . what are you going to do? Strike me down with your burning hatred. By all means, go ahead. Delude yourself into thinking it is within your power to do me harm, and we'll see what fate has in store for you."

Morgana's smirk made Keldeo's blood boil. However, he simply took a deep breath, and powered down his Secret Sword. He then returned back his normal form and said, "You're right. _I _can't harm you."

Morgana smiled rather warmly at Keldeo and nodded. "You have chosen wisely, my friend. You have saved yourself from a fate-."

Morgana froze in mid sentence, her eyes going wide when she saw that Keldeo had raised his right

foreleg. Hanging around his hoof was a relative simple looking bracelet, or anklet depending on how one looked at it. However, what caught her attention was the crucifix that hung from it.

"You're. . . one of Christ's. . ." she said in horror.

"You're one of Satan's," Keldeo said venomously, fixing the dog with a piercing gaze, "And you're dust."

Keldeo swiftly flicked up his forehoof, which sent the piece of jewelry right towards Morgana. The dog raised a paw out of instinct, a reflex reaction to protect herself. But it was in vain as the glue Keldeo had put on the crucifix caused it to stick to her paw.

Morgana shrieked out in unfathomable agony as her entire body erupted into flames. Keldeo swiftly turned and exited through the Hoopa Ring without looking back. After the ring vanished, the flames that had consumed Morgana's body spread throughout the entire tent, reducing it and all of Morgana's demonic artifacts to ashes.

* * *

"Thanks Hoopa. It's good to be reminded that wishes _can _be good," Keldeo said as walked back to his reviewing platform.

"Hoopa glad to help Keldeo!" Hoopa said cheerfully, "Keldeo burn evil dog lady good!"

"Not me," Keldeo said with a small smile, then he said, "Anyway, I really appreciate the help, Hoopa. I hope I'll see you around later."

Hoopa smiled and nodded enthduaitically, and he said, "Hoopa hope so too! Bye-bye! Alléhooparing!"

Hoopa made another ring portal and disappeared into it, then the ring portal vanished as well.

Keldeo let out a sigh of relief and said, "Whew! Okay. . . so. . . despite what you might think, I don't believe that this story is _bad. _You see, I don't really like Creepypastas in general. I don't _enjoy _them. But that doesn't mean I can't see the good writing within them. That being said, this adaptation of The Monkey's Paw. . . isn't perfect."

Keldeo fidgeted a bit, and he said, "There are these big, annoying holes in this story that could've easily been fixed. Skye shouldn't have made it so obvious that she was suicidal. Ryder shouldn't have brought his last two pups into a _murder lair _without some kind of armed backup. The Monkey's Paw's powers should have been explained better. These are easy things that could have and should have been fixed."

Keldeo sighed sadly, and he shrugged and said, "Although, the rest of this story is well written. Sure, there's blood and gore, and it's kinda messed up how Chase's life gets ruined, but it's a Creepypasta. It comes with the genre. So, if you like that kind of thing, it's pretty good. It's not a perfect adaptation of W.W. Jacob's masterpiece, but it works as a more modern, action packed take."

Keldeo smiled and said, "Well, I'm Keldeo the Critic, and I hope you all have a very happy Hallo-."

A Dark Void attack suddenly enveloped Keldeo.

Insane Applejack snickered darkly as she tossed a Master Ball in her right forehoof, with Darkrai floating next to her menacingly.

The mare smiled wickedly and said, "Now this is what Ah call. . . _The Beginning of the End._"

* * *

_**Next Review: **__"An Apple Sleep Experiment"_

* * *

**The End**

* * *

_**Credits**_

_Littlest Pet Shop (2012 - 2016)_

_Skyrim_

_Spongebob Squarepants_

_Avengers: Endgame_

_UHF (1989)_

_Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (2012)_

_My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic (2010 - 2019)_

_The Dark Knight (2008)_

_**Special Thanks**_

_Wikipedia_

_PAW Patrol Wiki_

_FimFiction Net_

_TV Tropes_


	5. 3- Apple Sleep Experiment by Magpiepony

_**BOOOOOM!**_

There was a huge explosion caused by a Focus Blast from Keldeo.

Keldeo activated his Secret Sword and swung it, causing a flash of light.

_**You hear the screeching of an owl**_

_**You hear the wind begin to howl**_

_**You know there's zombies on the prowl**_

Kyurem the Critic and Cryogonal the Critic screamed as they watched a video of Pikachu and Buneary being attacked by zombies.

_**It's terror time again**_

_**They got you running through the night**_

"FORESHADOWING!" Munna exclaimed.

"V-WHEEEEEEEL!" Victini exclaimed.

"MUSIC!" Floyd the Pichu shouted while holding his guitar high.

"RAAAAR!" Zoroark roared comically as his held his arms up and shook them.

_**It's terror time again**_

_**And you just might die of fright**_

Keldeo stood up on his hindlegs in his Resolute Form, his Secret Sword shining brightly.

_**It's a terrifying time**_

**Keldeo the Critic- Season Six**

**Episode 3: **_**An Apple Sleep Experiment **_**by Magpiepony**

Keldeo suddenly found himself standing in a dank, dark, dungeon cell. He blinked his eyes in confusion as he tried to get his thoughts together. However, his thoughts were interrupted by the sound of someone singing in a stuttering, pained voice.

"...g-giggle at the ghastly...heehee...s-snortle at the spooOOooky...haha..."

Keldeo turned to see what appeared to be Rainbow Dash, but her mane and tail was frazzled, and she was covered in blood. She also wore an insane looking grin.

Keldeo threw his head back and let out a loud groan. "Uggggh! Come on! _Rocket to Insanity _by Scherzo? Really? That story is just pathetic. It's just a cheap attempt to capitalize on _Cupcakes."_

"Heheheeheeeehaha! HAHAH! AHAHAHAHA! HAAAAAAAAHAHAHA!" Dash threw her head back, curling legs against her chest as forelimbs wrapped around them, psychotic laughter issuing forth from the speedster pegasus as her world shattered around her, psyche and spirit broken and splintered.

Keldeo just rolled his eyes and said, "Whatever. You're not even real. I'm just gonna go find the one who just _has _to be behind all this."

Keldeo turned and lifted his right forehoof. He fired Hydro Pump at the cell door and knocked it clean off its hinges. Keldeo stepped out of the cell and looked around. His eyes fell upon another door that was ajar, and he walked over to it. He entered the cell and immediately saw Insane!Applejack lying on the cot within.

"You really want me to review _An Apple Sleep Experiment, _don't you?" Keldeo said grumpily.

The mare got up from the cot and walked over to him.

"Ya think?" she said with an insane.

Keldeo huffed and looked away, then he looked back at the mare and said, "Okay, look. I don't review M Rated stories. Even if I did, I'm already worn out and upset after reviewing _Monkey's Paw _by HavocHound, so I just don't feel like it. I want to have _fun _on this Halloween or Gourgeist Festival or Nightmare Night or whatever you wanna call it. So I'm just gonna do an analysis of your horrible story. Okay?"

Applejack shrugged and said with her head tilted and her smile wide and creepy. "Fine by me, _Sugarcube._"

Keldeo shuddered at the way Applejack said the word, but then steeled himself and said, "Okay then. So, _An Apple Sleep Experiment _is based on another Creepypasta called _The Russian Sleep Experiment. _The story is about a fictional experiment the evil Soviet Union did where they gave test subjects drugs to keep them from sleeping for 30 days. This apparently makes them. . . cannibal super soldiers? . . .That tear off their own flesh.? . .and apparently it's all because sleeping wards off evil?. . . So not going to sleep for a long time causes humans to turn 100% evil?. . . Which also makes them humans immune to pain- WHAT FREAK WROTE THIS!?"

Keldeo panted a bit and said, "Okay, maybe I owe this fanfic an apology."

"Eeyup!" Insane!Applejack said.

Keldeo nodded slowly and said, "So, this is Magpiepony's adaptation: _An Apple Sleep Experiment._"

* * *

_It's zap apple season again and the Apple family is in hot water. An enormous debt, unrelenting heat, and an ill Big Mac forces Applejack to turn to Twilight for a potion that will keep her awake long enough to get the work done. It works like a charm... until she realizes that it isn't wearing off. Terrible things happen to a pony deprived of sleep... Applejack's mind turns to madness and she becomes a monster hell-bent on revenge._

* * *

"Okay, let's get right into why this story doesn't work," Keldeo said, "First of all, this story was published on October 30th, 2017. This was two years after _Season 5 Episode 18: Crusaders of the Lost Mark _aired."

The mare frowned and said, "What in the hay does that have to do with anythin'?"

"The whole conflict of this story is that the Apple Family is in deep debt with Filthy Rich. So, Filthy Rich says that if he doesn't get _all_ of the Apple Family's Zap Apple Jam, he'll take Sweet Apple Acres from them, which would still put them in a bad position with Big Mac too ill to work." Keldeo them frowned in disgust and said, "But Filthy Rich doesn't care because he's an _evil rich business guy who only loves money. . ._"

Keldeo then stomped his right forehoof and continued, "Except he isn't! By this time, we've seen Filthy Rich in action, and he's not a bad guy! Sure, he values his money, but he's not a miser and he's not evil or cruel. It's his wicked wife _Spoiled Rich _who's the evil one! I mean, come on! In Filthy Rich's episode debut, _Season 2 Episode 12: Family Appreciation Day, _he actually disciplines Diamond Tiara at the end for disrespecting Granny Smith! You didn't have to make Filthy Rich a mustache twirling villain for this story to work. You can still have the Apple Family be in debt, just frame in a more, '_we have no choice' _way instead of a '_mwah-ha-ha-ha! I'm gonna take everything you own and kick you out onto the street!' _way!"

Keldeo turned away from Insane!Applejack and paced around restlessly. "Whatever! Let's just get down to the main part of this story. Applejack needs to work extra hard to balance the books, so Twilight gives her a potion to keep her from sleeping. Then it doesn't wear off and Applejack starts going crazy."

Keldeo stopped pacing, and he turned to Insane!Applejack and said, "You know, there's a scene in this story that I actually find pretty cool. Applejack has a hallucination of all her old foes taunting her. Flim and Flam are there along with Filthy Rich, and it's a really cool, psychologically deep scene that real gets across all of her stress and fear."

"Ah'm waitin' for the other horseshoe drop," Insane!Applejack said, a fierce frown on her face.

"Good, 'cause here it comes," Keldeo said with a flat expression on his face, "In the original Creepypasta, the test subjects are kept awake for 30 days. But from what the fanfic tells us, it only takes 2 or 3 days for Applejack to start murdering ponies! What makes this even worse is that something similar to this had happened _in the show_! In _Season 1 Episode 4: Applebuck Season, _Applejack is sleep deprived for the same amount of time, and it causes her to be all out of it, have poor vision, act weird and loopy, mishear things, and make poor decisions. But it doesn't make her kill ponies! If the potion lasted maybe two or three weeks, then it would make sense. But nope! It's literally the same amount of time as the Season 1 episode! Explain that!"

"Magic."

Keldeo blinked, "Huh?"

"It was a magic potion. Whatever was in it made me go all kill-crazy," Insane!Applejack said with a smile.

Keldeo blinked again, then he sighed and said, "Okay. Fine. A wizard did it. _Biscuits._"

Keldeo then suddenly fired a Focus Blast at the wall in rage, then he shouted, "This story is pathetic! There's nothing else worth talking about here! We even have this pointless plot point where Applejack is but in the hospital, but she just escapes, no not escapes, _walks out_ with no problem! And once again, this goes against what we see in the show! In _Season 2 Episode 16: Read It and Weep, _we get a whole action sequence of Rainbow Dash getting chased when she breaks into the hospital. Why couldn't we get something like that here? If Applejack gonna go on a killing spree anyway, why not have her kill a few ponies during her escape?"

Keldeo's eyes widened and he said, "I can't believe I'm saying stuff like this! Ugh! I hate reviewing twisted garbage like this!"

Keldeo then sprayed himself in the face with water from his right forehoof. He caught his breath, then he continued, "So, the way this works is that Applejack is hallucinating that random ponies are Filthy Rich and drags them off to Sweet Apple Acres to kill them. And I swear that Lyra's death scene rips off _Cupcakes. _It's just so pathetic and awful. Then Twilight finally creates and antidote, and Rainbow Dash and Applebloom work together to inject it into Applejack. But to do that, they need to enter Sweet Apple Acres, which has become this twisted murder lair where bodies are pinned to the trees."

Keldeo had a deadpan expression on his face, and he said, "So, let me get this straight. Not only did Applejack escape from a hospital, but she has also somehow been able to ambush ponies, knock them out silently, and drag them right out of Ponyville and off to Sweet Apple Acres, and then come back to do it all over again _multiple times_ without _anyone_ seeing her?! Not even _Solid Snake _is that good! Applejack can't fly, she can't teleport, she has no magic, she has nothing! This is just _impossible_!"

Keldeo tossed his head up as he went on, "And then we get a cherry on top of this horrible sundae of chaos, anarchy, and death! During the final confrontation where Applebloom and Rainbow Dash try to cure Applejack, she starts spouting all these weird lines that sound like something you'd hear before a cliched boss fight."

* * *

"_Didn't ya know Rainbow? Ah am the thing you fear most! Ah am the madness crawlin' around under yer skin, squirming… writhing around inside just waitin' to get free…"_

* * *

"_AH AM THE INEVITABLE! AH AM THE HARBINGER OF FEAR AND THE MESSENGER OF TRUTH YOU SILENCE WITH HOPE…"_

* * *

"_And that truth… is that in the end, there ain't nothin' at all… 'cept me"_

* * *

"These lines are just so dumb! They don't belong here, at all!" Keldeo shouted.

"It's a reference to the original, of course," Insane!Applejack said with a wink and a crazy smile, "At then of _Russian Sleep Experiment, _the last test subject goes on about how not sleeping let his evil side come out and stuff right before the Soviets shoot him."

"I don't care! I didn't even read that story! I don't think even half the people who find this on FimFiction have read the original story! Those lines still look silly coming out of your mouth," Keldeo argued.

"Hello! Ah'm insane!" Insane!Applejack said with a mad grin.

Keldeo frowned and shook his head, "Those aren't the things an insane person would say. They're too grand and poetic. Plus, they don't fit Applejack's thoughts at this point. Right now she's obsessed with murdering Filthy Rich, so shouldn't she be ranting and raving about that instead? Maybe accusing Rainbow Dash of protecting him or something?"

The mare was about to reply, but Keldeo cut her off and said, "Whatever. I'm done with this, so let's end it. Applebloom injects Applejack with cure, but Applejack bucks her and kills her."

"NOOOOOOOOOO!"

Insane!Applejack tackled Keldeo and started punching him in the face with her forehooves. She foamed at the mouth as she roared at him, "DON'T! YOU! DARE! SHE'S! NOT! DEAD!"

"Easy on the face, AJ," a voice said from behind her.

The mare's eyes widened, and she turned around to see Keldeo standing behind her, wearing a cocky grin at that.

"Huh? Whu-?" she said, and she looked down just in time to see the Keldeo she was beating up dissolved into dust. She turned around to the real Keldeo and said, "But how!? You can't do anything in Dakrai's Dark Void!"

"Nope. But _she_ can," Keldeo said as he pointed.

The mare turned and saw Cresselia appear with a flash of light. The Luna Pokemon nodded, and emitted a bright light that enveloped everything.

* * *

Back in the real world, Darkrai's Dark Voice was shattered, freeing Keldeo who stood wide awake before Insane!Applejack and Darkai.

"This don't change a thing!" the mare shouted as she held up the Master Ball in her right forehoof. "Ah still got Darkrai, and that means-."

A beam of purple magic struck the Master Ball, shattering it into to pieces, much to Insane!Applejack's shock.

"Finally!" Darkrai said, his tone irate and lacking patience, "What a waste of time this all was!"

As Darkrai flew off, Insane!Applejack turned to see Twilight Sparkle approaching her.

"Good job, Keldeo. I don't know how she escaped, but thanks for letting me know. Our trap worked!" Twilight said with a confident smile reminiscent of when she accused the false Cadence of being evil.

"It sure did!" Keldeo said with a smile.

"Thanks for your help," the alicorn said, "I'll take it from here."

Keldeo nodded silently, smiling brightly.

Twilight marched over to the wide eyed Earth Pony mare, and she said darkly, "I gave you a chance. I was able to spare you from a death sentence and give you a life sentence instead. But now, you've thrown it all away, Applejack. This ends _now._"

Twilight's horn pulsated with powerful magic, and she aimed it straight at the Earth Pony, ready to unleash its power.

_**SLASH!**_

Twilight cried out as she was thrown several feet away and landed painfully on her side. When she looked up, she saw Keldeo in his Resolute Form, with his Secret Sword burning brightly.

"Wha-what? Why?" Twilight gasped out

"After getting the cure, Applejack wakes up in a dungeon cell with no memory of her murders," Keldeo said as he stared down coldly at Twilight Sparkle, "You eventually come and visit her, and he confronts you about the potion. And what do you say?"

* * *

_Why are ya doin' this? You know me Twilight…" Applejack muttered, her voice tremoring as her mind tried to accept her friend's betrayal._

"_If there WAS such a potion, and I'm not saying there was, I would have TRIED to caution you to its… adverse effects before giving you anything that could be considered dangerous!" Twilight said, returning to that formal tone she used as a mask to hide behind._

"_That's it, isn't it? Yer absolving yerself from the guilt; blamin' everything on me so you can sleep at night KNOWIN' what you've done…" Applejack hissed._

"_I found a cure to… whatever it was that ailed you. Even though I was too late to save the others, I knew I could save you. It wasn't until you were… safe here, that I could really focus on the drought. I did something even Celestia couldn't do: find a spell to save Equestria. That's what I do, Applejack, I'm the Princess of Friendship; I wield the most powerful magic in the world and it's MY responsibility to harness that magic for the good of everypony! Equestria can't afford to lose the both of us!_

"_So ya sacrifice a friend to bury your secret? And what about the element of Honesty, Twi? The Magic of Friendship doesn't work without it!"_

"_It turns out that Starlight Glimmer might be more useful to Equestria than we thought. She wields the element now."_

* * *

"You blatantly lied and put on the blame on someone who had no control over what happened to her. You destroyed an innocent life with your negligence, and then sacrificed that innocent to save your own skin," Keldeo said angrily, teeth clenched as he seethed with rage, "This is why I hate Creepypastas so much. They take amazing, well written, likable characters and turn them into _SOCIOPATHS_ like you! If you think I, a _Sword of Justice, _would let you get away with that, then you're not as smart as you think you are, _Princess of Friendship_! Darkrai, Cressilia, Hoopa, Applejack, and a bunch of your _former _friends planned the whole thing. Hoopa helped Applejack to escape, and she and the rest of us put on this whole act. This wasn't a trap for Applejack. It was a trap for _you._"

Twilight Sparkle mouth hung open in disbelief.

"Applejack's already been cleared of all charges," Keldeo said, "All the blame has been put on you, where it belongs. Applejack will be the Element of Honesty again, and Starlight Glimmer will be the new Element of Magic. Your friends are all ashamed of you Twilight, especially Spike. He called you a monster. Smart dragon."

Keldeo then grinned and said, "Oh, and Celestia says, '_You have a lot to think about.'_"

That caused Twilight to snap. She jumped up to her hooves and screamed, "I'LL KILL ALL OF YOU!"

Twilight aimed her horn and attempted to fire a bolt of magic, but only a few sparks fell to the ground in front of her. Twilight stared in confusion for a moment, then her eyes spotted to top half of her horn lying on the ground nearby.

Twilight's eyes looked up at the broken stump on her forehead, and the she slowly turned to look at Keldeo, utter shock in her eyes. "You. . . you. . ."

Keldeo powered down his Secret Sword and turned back into his normal form. "Well, it looks like we're done here. Hoopa?"

Hoops flew out from his hiding spot in some nearby bushes and tossed out a ring while shouting, "Alléhooparing!"

The ring created a portal straight to Tartarus in the _An Apple Sleep Experiment _universe, and Twilight screamed as she was sucked right into it.

"NO! I'M TOO IMPORTANT! I AM A-!"

The portal then promptly closed, and the ring flew back to Hoopa.

"Excellent," Keldeo said with a smile and a nod, and she turned to Applejack, who was taking out the contact lenses which made her eyes look bloodshot and crazy.

"Woah nelly! Glad that's over," she said, "Even gladder that Twilight got her just desserts."

"Same here," Keldeo said as Hoopa tossed the top half of Twilight's horn through a ring portal and into the lava of an active volcano, "I know your world has been damaged pretty bad, but at least with Twilight gone and you cleared of everything, you can start to rebuild."

Applejack nodded, but she frowned and said, "Ah'm scared, Keldeo. Ah never did find out what happened to mah little sister."

Keldeo nodded back and said, "I know. The fanfic left it ambiguous. All we can do is hope that whatever happened, she can recover from it. As for me, I like to believe that she _will_ recover. Because I'm pretty sure that in your heart, you know that what Twilight's potion made you say was a lie. Hope and truth are kindred spirits."

Applejack smiled at this, and she said, "Thanks Keldeo. For that, and for everything else."

"Hoopa take Applekan home now!" Hoopa said as he created a ring portal back to Applejack's home universe.

Applejack gave Keldeo a look of long-suffering and said, "Does he have to call me that?"

Keldeo chuckled and said, "It means he likes you."

Applejack shrugged, and she and Hoopa walked into the portal, which closed behind them.

Now looking very much relieved, Keldeo turned and said, "Well, I'm Keldeo the Critic, and for all you humans, Pokemon, ponies, and other creatures out there, I hope whatever costume wearing holiday you celebrate is safe, happy, fun, and not _too _scary. Enjoy the candy and treats, and maybe skip the bloody horror movies for something more along the lines of _It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown_ or even the new _Luigi's Mansion 3_. There's already so much violence in the world, so let's not celebrate it, okay."

Keldeo smiled and said, "So then. . .have a happy Halloween!"

* * *

**The End**

* * *

_**Credits**_

_My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic_

_My Little Pony Friendship is Magic Wiki_

_It's the Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown_

_Luigi's Mansion 3_


	6. 4-Editorial 2- The Ultimate Pokemon Game

Keldeo stood up on his hindlegs in his Resolute Form, his Secret Sword shining brightly.

_**The show must go on!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .go on. . .go on. . .go on. . .**_

**Keldeo the Critic- Season Six**

**Episode 4: Editorial 2- The Ultimate Pokemon Game**

Keldeo stood frowning sourly, and he said grumpily, "Hi, I'm Keldeo. Yeah."

Keldeo sighed, and he said, "Well, as I'm making this episode, tomorrow is the launch date for _Pokemon Sword and Shield. _And I'm sure you all have noticed how. . . silent. . . I've been about the controversy surrounding these games. Well, there's two reasons for that. First off, I felt that Youtuber _Lockstin and Gnoggin _said everything that needed to be said in his video: _Pokemon Sword and Shield and Controversy: Real Talk | Gnoggin _(TinyURL: **ydklbvqr**). Second off, I just didn't agree with the complaints. I didn't care about the whining about the ugly tree or the T-Posing Wingull or the battle animations, because I knew the final game would look fine and graphics in Pokemon games don't matter that much to me. It was _never _about graphics in my opinion. The only thing that kinda bothered me was the cutting out of Pokemon, but I felt that it was just something we had to deal with. Sure it was gonna stink to see many of them get left out, but I was sure there would at least be 500 in the game."

Keldeo's eyes darkened, then he said, "But then I found out that there was only gonna be around 300 Pokemon in the game."

Keldeo sighed again, closing his eyes as he breathed in and out, then he opened his eyes and said, "I'm not gonna rant here. This is not a rant. I'm gonna use all of this. . . bad energy I got. . . to do something constructive."

Keldeo forced a smile, and he said, "I'm gonna put into words what I believe would be the Pokemon game we all truly want. The Pokemon game that will make us truly and fully happy and satisfied. The _Super Smash Bros. Ultimate _of Pokemon. The Ultimate Pokemon game."

Keldeo's forced smile changed into a more legitimate, genuine smile, and he said, "Let's go."

"First off, ALL OF THE POKEMON! I even have a way to have them logically all be in the same region. Story wise, it could be this special region at the equator that's this big landmass like Australia or something. We could also use Seasons, yes _Seasons _like in _Pokemon Black 1 and 2 and White 1 and 2, _to have certain Pokemon be switched out whenever the Seasons change, which encourages you to play more. All the Legendary and Mythical Pokemon will be here too. You'll find them in appropriately themed caves or temples or dungeons that you'll probably get into via a load screen. They'll also be Ultra Wormholes that will appear from time to time so you can catch the Ultra Beasts too. The Pokedex should have a Rotom in it again, and have it talk to you like in _Sun and Moon, _I liked that. Also, let's Pokemon follow you around like in _Let's Go Pikachu and Eevee_, that can't be left out."

Keldeo nodded and said, "Okay, let's back up and talk about difficulty."

Keldeo grinned in excitement, his tail even started to wag, and he said, "This was a really cool idea Matthais and I came up with. There should be three battle modes: _Let's Go Mode, Standard Mode, _and _Pokken Mode. _In _Let's Go Mode, _you don't have to battle wild Pokemon, you can just throw berries and Pokeballs at them like in _Let's Go Pikachu and Eevee._ _Standard Mode _is standard, meaning you battle wild Pokemon like normal. Now, _Pokken Mode. . ."_

Keldeo nodded his head excitedly, and he said, "Okay, this is the cool part. In this mode, all battles, both with wild Pokemon and with trainers, take place in real time, like in _Pokken Tournament. _But it's not the same! There's no melee attacks, no grabs, no counters, and no shielding. The only things you can do are run around and jump to dodge, use items through a quick menu, and the four moves that the Pokemon have, and they still take PP to use. This keeps the battles strategic. As for Evasiveness and Accuracy, these numbers could affect a probability of moves simply not hitting or not doing anything."

"Regardless of the mode, there's also a difficulty slider that either increases or decreases the level or stats of the Pokemon you're battling."

Keldeo tapped the ground with his right forehoof and said, "Okay! Now for the world map. Open world! Just like _The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild_! Only with more buildings and people, of course. Maybe it'll be more like _Skyrim, _but I don't wanna say that, because I just like the way _Breath of the Wild _was, so it should be more like that. Like I said, it's an open world. You can go through forests, swim a little, probably not climb as much as Link does, but you won't be stuck on Routes anymore. You can wander off the path. There's still Gym and Towns and Cities and Pokemon Centers, as well as a Pokemon League, but now you have more freedom in tackling it. The League will probably either be in the center like Hyrule Castle, or in a far off corner of the map."

Keldeo grinned and said, "And here's something you'll like: HM Moves! First off, if a Pokemon is big and has wings, it can fly you back to Pokemon Centers you've been too as soon as you catch it. It doesn't have to learn Fly. Large Water-type Pokemon can carry you across water, under water, or up waterfalls without learning Surf, Dive, or Waterfall. Obstacles like bushes, vines, and rocks can be taken out by a wider variety of moves. Any move that can slice can work just like Cut. Psycho Cut, Air Slash, X- Scissor, etc. Any move that can smash stuff can work just like Rock Smash. Karate Chop, Drill Run, etc. Moves like Bulk-up, Psyche-up, Power-up Punch, etc. work just like Strength. Teleport still works like Fly. Flash and Dig are still valuable in Dungeons, but not mandatory. The point is that Pokemon should be able to do what they should naturally be able to do. Flying types can fly, Water types can swim, and muscular Pokemon can push big things."

Keldeo thought for a moment, then he said, "Okay, before I forget:** Battle Frontier and Pokemon Contests.** Enough said. I also like the Camping mechanic that _Sword and Shield _has. It's a good upgrade of Pokemon-Amie and Pokemon Refresh. Just let us make other foods besides Curry on Rice and it'll be perfect! Again, think Breath of the Wild when it comes to cooking!"

Now for the plot! Fans seem to want a more serious story, but it shouldn't be overly weird or complex or wonky either like in _Sun and Moon. _I'm thinking there should be two evil teams, like Aqua and Magma in _Ruby and Sapphire. _The conflict would be something like _Team Fairy _wants to destroy all Dark-types, and _Team Dark _wants to destroy all Fairy-types. That makes for good drama, especially if the Team Leader and their Admins have personal reasons for hating the other Type."

Keldeo held up his right forehoof and said, "And now, the rival. It's obviously what needs to be done: make two rivals. A friendly one, like Wally in _Ruby and Sapphire _or the rival form _Let's Go Pikachu and Eevee; _and a nasty one like Silver from _Gold, Silver, and Crystal._ Now, the nasty rival needs to be flat out evil. Like, maybe the rival starts out like Blue or Gary, but as the game progresses she/he gets meaner and nastier. The rival even abuses his/her Pokemon like Paul. By the end of the game, the rival is working for the evil team, and when you beat him/her for the last time, all his/her Pokemon abandon him/her in a cutscene. It would be a very powerful and satisfying moment to see this sadistic rival of your have a well deserved break down. Meanwhile, your friendly rival gets better and better and loves his/her Pokemon a lot. There's a genuine friendship and a respectful rivalry that has a lot of good chemistry in it."

Keldeo put his forehoof down and said, "Hmm, what else? What else before I get into the postgame? Um, I liked the side quests from _Ultra Sun and Ultra Moon. _That's a good way to add life to the region and give you more to do. Maybe make Experience Share have more settings to it so your Pokemon don't level up too fast or too slow. I already mentioned Battle Frontier and Pokemon Contests, didn't I? I guess that also means Pokeblock comes back, which also means you can grow berry trees again, as well as make compost. Hmm. . . I guess that's it. Postgame time!"

Keldeo smiled cleverly and said, "Now, after you beat the Pokemon League, there's not much of a drive to do it again. You beat the Elite Four again, you beat either your rival or the Champion again, that's it. It's almost like winning the League doesn't mean anything. Well, I know how to fix it. How about every time you go back and beat the Elite Four again, you then face off against a famous Trainer from Pokemon history! The idea is that since your a famous Champion, people from other regions have come to face off against you. You can battle powered up Gym Leaders from past regions, legendary rivals from past games, or even Elite Four members or Champions from other regions! Think of it! Imagine battling Cynthia one day, then Giovanni the next! Imagine battling Red! The game developers could even put in a slim chance of Ash showing up! You'd get special badges for each famous Trainer when you beat them, which would encourage you to keep going back to the Pokemon League. Each time you'll be eagerly wondering who you'll fight! It'll be like the Pokemon World Tournament from _Black 2 and White 2, _only better! Players all over will be able to show off their collection of badges and talk about which Trainer was the hardest or most exciting or surprising, as well as talk about which trainer they'd want to fight next."

Keldeo winked and said, "And of course either the previous Champion or friendly rival will occasionally show up for a rematch too. As for the rest of the postgame, I'd demand a plot involving Looker. He's a fan a favorite, and the quest we got with him in _X and Y _was really cool. Add in Seasons, various temples and other dungeons hiding Mythical and Legendary Pokemon, Ultra Wormholes hiding Ultra Beasts, Pokemon Contests, the Battle Frontier, Breeding, IV and EV training, Camping, Cooking, and plenty of new side quests, and it'll surely last any gamer a very, very, very, very, very long time."

Keldeo blinked his eyes solemnly, then he said, "So. . . what do you think? Does that sound like the ultimate Pokemon game you always wanted? Does it even matter considering how lots of fans are saying that _Sword and Shield _are gonna be terrible?"

Keldeo breathed in and out through his nose, then he said, "Well, let me tell you something. . . Things can only get better. _Pokemon Sword and Shield _is the series' launching off point for the home console era of Pokemon games. This Nintendo Switch debut is only the beginning. Matthais pre-ordered _Pokemon_ _Sword, _and he's gonna play it, and I'm gonna watch him play it. Game Freak knows we don't want Pokemon to be cut out of the games, but they did it because they felt they had to. No company makes a product horrendously bad on purpose, at least not for a franchise a beloved as _Pokemon._ I _believe_ that Generation 9 will be better. It won't be like the ultimate game Matthais and I thought of, but I know it will be much more satisfying and have a better number of Pokemon, because by then, Game Freak will finally know what they're doing. _Sword and Shield _will be a test bed for the Triple A home console Pokemon game that Game Freak _will _make."

Keldeo was silent for a moment, then he said, "But. . . if it turns out that Game Freak drops the ball again for Generation 9 and fails to deliver at least 700 Pokemon with plenty of features fans have been begging for. . .Matthais and I will be the first ones to call for a boycott."

Keldeo gave a curt nod and said, "I'm Keldeo the Critic and. . ."

Keldeo paused for a moment, seemingly in deep thought. Then he said, ". . .I think I should devote my next review to a certain friendship focused cartoon series that ended recently."

Keldeo then turned and walked off.

* * *

**The End**

* * *

**_Credits_**

_Pokemon Sword and Shield and Controversy: Real Talk | Gnoggin _(TinyURL: **ydklbvqr**)

_TinyURL_

_Bulbapedia_


	7. 5- Top 10 MLP:FiM Episodes - Part 1

_**BOOOOOM!**_

There was a huge explosion caused by a Focus Blast from Keldeo.

_**THE SHOW MUST GO ON!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .**_

Keldeo activated his Secret Sword and swung it, causing a flash of light.

_**THE SHOW MUST GO ON!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .**_

Kyurem the Critic gave a genuine smile as he watched a slide show of highlights from his reviews.

Spike the Snob tipped his black top hat.

_**I'LL FACE IT WITH A GRIN!**_

"NO SHIP, SHERLOCK!" Intoxiquer the Crobat shouted in Genesect's face.

_**I'M NEVER GIVING IN!**_

_**ON WITH THE SHOW!**_

Meloetta sat down with Madoka the Fennekin and Damian the Meloetta on either side of her.

Imperator Justinian shook Keldeo's forehoof.

_**THE SHOW MUST GO ON!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .**_

Arceus the Critic glared at Mew as she floated near a stone replica of him.

"SHUT UP!" shouted Anthony the Zoroark and Ian the Lucario.

_**THE SHOW MUST GO ON!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .**_

Ryu Taylor the ferret and bent water into a small stream and spun it around to slap each of the Mane Six in the face.

_**I'LL TOP THE BILL, I'LL OVERKILL!**_

Jack Storm sprung awake and jumped onto his feet, wearing his robes and ready for battle.

Matthais Unidostres and BrickBrony1894 bro-hoofed.

_**I HAVE TO FIND THE WILL TO CARRY ON!**_

_**On. . . with the show. . .**_

_**On. . . with the show. . .**_

"FORESHADOWING!" Munna exclaimed.

"V-WHEEEEEEEL!" Victini exclaimed.

"MUSIC!" Floyd the Pichu shouted while holding his guitar high.

"RAAAAR!" Zoroark roared comically as his held his arms up and shook them.

_**SHOW!**_

Keldeo stood up on his hindlegs in his Resolute Form, his Secret Sword shining brightly.

_**The show must go on!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . . go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .go on. . .**_

**Keldeo the Critic- Season Six**

**Episode 5: Top 10 Trickiest, Worst, and Best Episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic**

"It's me! Keldeo the Critic! I review it so you don't have to!" Keldeo said with a grin, then he sighed nostalgically and said, "On October 12, 2019, the last episode of _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic _aired. You might notice how I didn't really do much of anything on that day. No special episode. No emotional send off from Keldeo the Critic. The reason why I didn't do much is because to me, this show has not ended."

Keldeo waved his right forehoof and said, "Now, I'm not in denial or anything. You see, when I think of this show, I also include all of the stuff that the fandom created. Not just the fanfiction, but mostly the stuff by the Brony Analyst Community. At this very moment, most of the big Brony Analysts like Silver Quill, , FOBEquestria, Golden Fox, and etcetera aren't even _close_ to reviewing every episode. Not to mention, there's another G4 movie coming up, and the characters we know and love will be reimagined in G5, which will result in plenty of G4-G5 crossover fanfics. And on top of that, Hasbro is going to release Season 10 in comic book form. So, yeah, I hardly consider this to be the end of anything. Getting all emotional and solemn about theend of Friendship is Magic would actually be a disservice to it. The book may have been closed, but the world still exists in the mind and hearts of the fans."

Keldeo put his hoof back down and sighed, "But. . .the fact is that the cartoon _has _finished. It's run is over. That's the end of the G4 episodes. There aren't any more being made. Nothing else concerning the G4 characters is gonna be aired. The show is over, and. . . that _is _a big deal. So. . . I feel I _do_ need to do something. Something big. So big. . . that I'm gonna need some help. . ."

Keldeo suddenly backflipped into the air, and with a flash, turned into Zoroark's full evolved son. The Zoroark laughed and said, "Hi I'm Zoroark! I'm an Illusion Fox and I got a review for YOU! _**Zoroark Reviews!**_"

The real Keldeo pranced through the shallow water and jumped onto the rock platform alongside Zoroark.

"You mean, _we _got a review," Keldeo said with a smile.

Zoroark nodded and said, "Yeah, sure! Keldeo and I are gonna show off three lists of ten episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. We're gonna give you the good! We're gonna give you the bad! We're gonna give you the tricky!"

"Uh, actually, Zoroark," Keldeo interjected, "We're actually gonna do it in reverse this time. First the tricky, then the bad, and then the good. It's an amazing show, so we should really end it on a positive note."

Zoroark gave it a quick thought, then nodded and replied, "Yeah, you're right about that Keldeo. So, let's get started!"

Keldeo nodded and said, "Well, let's start off with the top 10 trickiest episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!"

Munna floated in and said in a loud stage whisper, "_'Tricky' _means episodes that are neither bad nor good, but have something about them that creates mixed feelings."

Munna floated away and Keldeo and Zoroark watched her go.

"Ahem! Thanks for that, Munna," Keldeo remarked, then he grinned and said, "Well then, let's get started. Oh, and just to let you know, this won't be in any particular. We're just gonna go through a list of 10 episodes. Let's get started."

"Finally! I can't wait any longer!" Zoroark said as he jumped up and down and clapped his claws excitedly.

_**Season 5- Episode 6: Appleloosa's Most Wanted**_

Keldeo sighed and said, "Look, I get what they were setting up here."

"FORESHADOWING!" Munna shouted as she flew by.

Zoroark stared after her and huffed. "Okay, now she's starting to get annoying."

"You get used to it," Keldeo remarked, "Anyway, this episode hints at the fact that the Cutie Mark Crusader's destiny is to help other ponies figure out what their Cutie Marks really mean. I get that. But really. . . couldn't they have figured out a better story? Or a better character? I mean, I don't hate Troubleshoes, but I just don't get why he never thought of being a rodeo clown. Why did he need three children to tell him that? And how did it even get to the point of him being arrested. Sure, he kept running away, but why? Why didn't he just apologize for being clumsy and stay to clean up?"

"Keldeo. It's obvious. This was a _the adults useless _scenario," Zoroark said flatly.

Keldeo blinked his eyes in realization, then he nodded, "Yeah, that explain it. But still, the CMC really shined in this episode, and they really do a good thing, even if it means defying authority. Sometimes you have to do that if it means serving a greater good. . ." Keldeo then frowned and added, "Or if the authority figures are just stupid."

_**Season 4- Episode 22: Trade Ya!**_

"Ehhhh. . ." Keldeo said awkwardly.

"Ehhhh. . ." Zoroark said just as awkwardly.

"It's not bad. . ." Keldeo said slowly, "It's just. . ."

"Overstuffed?" Zoroark suggested.

Keldeo nodded, "Yeah, that's it. We've got three plots going on at once at this Trade Fair. Pinkie is overhyping Princess Twilight's stuff, Rarity and Applejack are fighting. . . _again, _and Rainbow Dash trades Fluttershy for a book."

"Hey, she sees her mistake right away!" Zoroark argued.

"I know, I know. I'm more annoyed at how easily Fluttershy goes along with it," Keldeo said, then he sighed and said, "Look, there was plenty of funny moments in this episode. For instance, the part where Applejack dares Rarity to try to tell between the two brooches. It just felt like things were dragging a little at times, like the seemingly endless fetch quest Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash went on. _But, _the ending was very sweet, and everyone got what they wanted, _even_ Fluttershy, so I'd say the episode is likeable enough."

_**Season 5- Episode 5: Tanks for the Memories**_

"I like seeing Rainbow Dash care about Tank, and I appreciate the way Cindy Morrow portrayed the 5 Stages of Grief," Keldeo said genuinely, "But. . ."

"Rainbow Dash is annoying," Zoroark said simply.

"Very annoying," Keldeo said irately, "First she's all arrogant to Spike and Fluttershy, then she's screaming at everyone, then she's crying more than Sobble. Sure, I get why she's like this, she's in grief over Tank's hibernation. She loves Tank and wants him to be around all the time."

Keldeo then scratched at the ground and snorted angrily. "But that doesn't excuse her _sabotaging a vital government facility! _Someone could've been killed! I mean, she's not even punished for it! I just-!"

Zoroark quickly rang a Soothe Bell next to Keldeo's ear.

Keldeo sighed in relief, then he turned over to Zoroark and said, "We're gonna need that for the Top 10 Worst Episodes."

"Gulp," Zoroark said with a worried look on his face.

_**Season 5- Episode 12: Amending Fences**_

"Moondancer's sister stinks," Zoroark said with a frown.

Keldeo blinked and said, "Really? That's what you got from it?"

"Okay, let's get this thing straight," Zoroark said with frustration in his voice, "Moondancer descended into a deep depression and shut herself into a filthy house that's literally falling apart, and her sister does nothing!"

"I'm more confused about Moondancer becoming a loner just because Twilight didn't come to her party," Keldeo said, "I mean, she had other friends! Why was Twilight Sparkle so important? How come Minuette, Lemon Hearts, and Twinkleshine weren't enough for her? You'd think she'd be more like, _'Twilight's a snob, I'm sticking with you three!'_"

"Didn't Twilight and Moondancer bond over studying together in school?" Zoroark asked.

"I guess," Keldeo said with a shrug, "And I think Moondancer is a very good surrogate for extreme introverts. You really do feel bad for her, even if you don't understand her. I appreciate it, even if it was a little melodramatic."

_**Season 6- Episode 8: A Hearth's Warming Tail**_

"What!? Why!?" Zoroark said in surprise, "It's an _'A Christmas Carol' _episode!"

"Yeah, an abridged version of one!" Keldeo said irately, "We kept having to stop to check in with Twilight reading the story in real life, and instead of being a two parter or a full hour special, like how it _should _have been, it's just a normal episode! So it's just too short! So much gets cut out. Sure, I could understand not showing Snowfall Frost's tombstone in a kid's show. But we don't stay in Hearth's Warming Yet To Come long enough. We should've seen the pony races fighting a little bit or something. It's just a wasted opportunity to make something great!"

Zoroark turned into Jack Skellington and chimed in, "_Why does nothing ever turn out like it should?_"

"Ha-ha, very clever," Keldeo said.

Zoroark turned back to normal, and he said, "But the music is fun!"

"Oh sure, it's a good episode," Keldeo said, "And right ponies play the right ghosts, and Luna's song is awesome! Jyc Row's remix of it is one of the greatest pieces of music the Brony fandom has ever made!" (TinyURL: _**v84r5hq**_)

"True," Zoroark agreed.

Keldeo sighed and said, "It's just a shame that what could've been a new Christmas classic on the level of _A Muppet Christmas Carol _or even _Mickey's Christmas Carol _had to be squeezed down into a short episode. A good episode, for sure, but there's just too much wasted potential here. We didn't even get a pony version of Jacob Marley!"

"You mean like. . . _**Mare**__-_ly?" a voice said.

"Who made that _horrible _joke!?" Keldeo shouted.

A pair of long, orange tipped, rabbit-like ears peaked up over the edge of the rock platform. A Pokemon raised it's right foot to climb up onto the rock. He shyly shuffled over to Keldeo and Zoroark.

"Hey. . ." the Scorbunny said _**Bashfully**_, a sparkling Everstone stuck in the space between the red band around his neck.

Keldeo grinned gleefully and said, "It's Aiden! Matthais' _Pokemon Sword _starter!"

Zoroark nodded to Aiden and said, "And you've got an Everstone! Guess Matthais is going the Pikachu route for _Pokemon Sword_."

Aiden nodded his head energetically, and he said, "Right! I've also got an Eviolite I swap out for my Everstone for serious battles."

Keldeo focused on the Scorbunny and said, "That's nice. But why exactly are you here?"

Aiden dashed up to Keldeo and stood on his tiptoes so that he was nose to nose with him. Aiden frowned and said with his eyebrows furrowed, "To help you give the greatest cartoon ever made a proper sendoff! You got a problem with that?!"

Keldeo didn't back off, but blinked and said, "Uh. . .no. . ."

Zoroark scratched his head and said, "Huh. So you're a Brony too?"

Aiden spun on his toes and glared at Zoroark. "_You_ got a problem with _that_?"

Zoroark took a step back as he stared at Scorbunny in surprise. "No-no-no! I just. . ."

Keldeo tilted his head at Aiden and said, "You know, you're kinda _**Quick**_ _**Tempered**_."

Aiden blinked, and he fell back onto the soles of his feet and tapped his toes nervously. "Heh. Yeah. I kinda am. Sorry," he said as he blushed slightly.

Keldeo chuckled and said, "Aw, no problem! I'm glad to have you here. We all are! The more fans, the better we can analyze these episodes."

"He's right!" Zoroark added, "Seriously, we're glad you're here, Aiden. Heck, we could be best friends! You can be the Judy Hopps to my Nick Wilde!"

Aiden gave Zoroark an odd look and said, "Um. . . maybe?" He then turned back to Keldeo and said, "Aw, whatever! Let's get back to the reviews! . . If you're ready. . ."

Keldeo nodded and said with a grin, "Sure am! Let's keep going!"

_**Season 9- Episode 19: Dragon Dropped**_

Aiden turned to Keldeo and pouted, "You're not a diehard Sparity Shipper or something. . . right?"

Keldeo shook his head and said, "Listen. I want Spike to get over his crush on Rarity. I want Gabby the griffin to get more screentime. There was only one problem with this episode."

Aiden gave a deadpanned expression, "Rarity?"

"Rarity?" Zoroark said with the same expression.

"Rarity," Keldeo said flatly, "This episode made her look so bad. It almost confirms all the rumors that Rarity's been using Spike the whole time. When Spike isn't around, the episode puts so much focus on how Rarity misses Spike for the things he always did for her, and that stinks! Then we get that apology scene-."

"Soooooooo fake!" Aiden shouted.

Zoroark nodded, "Yeah, it seems like a big act just to get Spike to do what she wants him to do."

Keldeo nodded and said, "And she does this whole scheme to steal Spike away, and then Gabby gets her feelings hurt. Gosh, this is her second major role in and episode-."

"_Last_ major role in an episode!" Aiden chimed in with his arms crossed.

"-and _this_ happens to her!" Keldeo shouted, "And I know that a story needs conflict, and Rarity needs to make a mistake to make it work, but there's a difference between a jealous friend who wants to be with someone so bad that they go too far, and someone who wants a servant and creates over acted apologies and plots manipulative schemes in order to keep that servant!"

"Poor Spike," Zoroark said.

"Poor Gabby," Keldeo said.

"Poor Rarity," Aiden said.

The other two stared at Scorbunny.

Scorbunny scowled and said, "What? This episode was character assaination!"

_**Season 2- Episode 8: The Mysterious Mare Do Well**_

"Ooh! A controversial episode!" Aiden said with a small smile.

"Well, I liked this episode a lot. . .at first. . ." Keldeo said with a half smile.

Zoroark huffed and said, "Come on, Keldeo, you didn't let annoying Bronies influence you!"

Keldeo stomped his right forehoof and said, "Look, it's not like this episode is perfect. The rest of the Mane Six did do a few things wrong. They didn't talk to Rainbow Dash at all before they went into their literal Batman Gambit."

"She wouldn't have listened!" Aiden argued.

"They could have at least _tried_!" Keldeo argued back, "And then they bragged about themselves and then made a public appearance at a parade! And Rainbow Dash was awful too. Sure, she saved ponies, but then she tossed babies around and took her time saving that hot air balloon pilot!"

Zoroark growled and said, "Oh, and let's add in that ungrateful construction worker that Dash saved! Jerk!"

Aiden grinned and said, "But Mare Do Well was awesome, right?"

Keldeo grinned, "Yeah, she did have an awesome design. It was a really cool mixture of _Batman the Animated Series _and _Darkwing Duck. _The posters even took a lot of inspiration from the Batman cartoon from 1992. And the rescues were really cool to watch. Seeing Applejack buck the carriage, Pinkie Pie weaving through the falling debris, and Twilight fixing the dam in seconds!"

Zoroark grinned and said, "Yeah. . .she was cool. . .not as cool as me. . . but cool!"

_**Season 6- Episode 15: 28 Pranks Later**_

Zoroark's grin fell and he said, "Also known as: _The Mysterious Mare Do Well 2.0_!"

Keldeo facehoofed and said, "It's like they tried to address the fan's complaints, but then either went to far or did it wrong! People felt bad for Rainbow Dash in Mare Do Well? Let's make Rainbow so completely unlikeable that they couldn't possibly feel bad for her! She pranks Fluttershy and laughs at her face, has a skunk spray someone and makes someone break a tooth on a brick! People were upset that the Mane Six didn't try to talk to Rainbow? Have them stage a half hearted intervention that's as vague and evasive as possible! I mean, they have Applejack say stuff like this:"

_**Applejack: **_"_Pranking Fluttershy is just lazy!"_

"And that was just mean!" Aiden remarked.

Keldeo huffed and said, "The others don't really tell her off enough. They never really get across the point that Rainbow Dash is hurting people! They seem to egg her on more than anything! And Pinkie _barely _even tries to talk Rainbow out of her cookie prank! And the zombie prank they pull on her just seems _way _to extreme. Mare Do Well was _nothing _compared to that! And it had to have taken a ton of work too!Wouldn't it be easier for everyone to just shun her like they did to Zecora, or the CMC when they were revealed to be Gabby Gums?"

Then Keldeo sighed and said, "Aaaand, I just don't like zombies."

"Same here!" Zoroark said as he raised a claw.

Aiden shrugged and said, "I don't really care. . .about this episode. But I'm kinda wondering why this isn't on the Top 10 Worst list."

Keldeo shrugged and said, "I don't know. I guess I just appreciate how the writers at least _tried _to improve on_ The Mysterious Mare Do Well. _Sure, they failed, but their failure is so spectacular and so completely insane that you kinda have to admire it."

"Meh," Aiden said.

_**Season 2- Episode 9: Sweet and Elite**_

"Okay, this one _really_ stings, because it did something I didn't think this show could do," Keldeo said.

"What?" Aiden asked, with his ears perked up.

"It made me enjoy a Rarity episode," Keldeo said, "I mean, come on, who is Rarity? She's a fashion obsessed drama queen. I just couldn't imagine myself enjoying a character like that. But this episode took Rarity and made her more relatable. When Jet Set and Upper Crust write her off, she doubles down and decides to make her greatest creation for Twilight's birthday. And when she gets sidetracked by all the fame a popularity, you just can't blame her because being a part of the elite is her dream, and she _is_ trying to expand her dressmaking business. Plus, when she lies to her friends so she can go to the garden party and then does the whole two places at once routine, it doesn't seem selfish or evil because becoming successful is truly important to her and her goals. It's an understandable flaw that doesn't make her unlikeable. And when it really matters and everything is out in the open, Rarity _does_ stick with her friends."

"Her crazy, over exaggerated friends," Aiden remarked with a frown.

Keldeo nodded in agreement, "Yeah, the scene where they crash the garden party is painful. Yes, it had to happen to conclude the plot and teach Rarity a lesson, but it just felt so wrong. Sure, Pinkie Pie and Fluttershy acted like what you'd expect, but Applejack acted so _stupid_, especially when you consider that she lived with her fancy Aunt Orange for a while when she was younger. They probably made Rainbow Dash a little too rude, and Twilight should really know better. Sure, I understand if she can't dance, but there wasn't even any dancing music playing! She's Princess Celestia's student! She shouldn't be this oblivious."

Zoroark raised an eyebrow and smiled ironically, "Are you forgetting somepony?"

Keldeo frowned darkly and said with a cold tone, "Hayseed Turniptruck. The most pointless. . . the most absolute worst character in all of My Little Pony, _in all generations!_"

Keldeo huffed and said, "He's such a stupid and insulting character. He pops up just so Jet Set and Upper Crust can turn their noses up at Rarity, but it just feels cheap and unfair! Ponyville is _not_ a town of stupid hillbillies! It makes it look like the reason this whole plot exists is because that guy popped up! It even makes you sympathise with the antagonists, because that Turniptruck guy _is _awful! It would've been much more impactful if Rarity just mentions that she wants to open a boutique in Canterlot and already has one in Ponyvile, and then Jet Set and Upper Crust immediately judge her for being from their because of their own notions and opinions they already had. Then it would be more impactful and show that Rarity will always struggle due to her small town origins. It's certianly better than _'random stupid looking guy randomly shows up and makes Rarity look bad'_!"

Zoroark shrugged and said, "Well, at least he never showed up in the show again after that."

"He probably got erased when Starlight Glimmer went back in time," Aiden suggested.

Zoroark and Keldeo stared at him.

"That's. . .kinda dark. . ." Keldeo said.

"Oh, and you _weren't_ thinking that?" Aiden challenged.

"Moving on!" Keldeo shouted.

"_**And the last trickiest episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is. . ."**_

"Almost all the two part episodes!" Keldeo declared.

"WHAT!? WHY!?" Aiden shouted.

"They almost _all_ have problems that bug me!" Keldeo complained.

"Like what?" Aiden challenged.

Keldeo grinned, "Zoroark?"

Zoroark laughed a bit and said, "Oh boy, here Keldeo goes!"

Aiden blinked in confusion and said, "Huh? What do you mean?"

Zoroark winked and said, "Oh, you'll see! Ready when you are, Keldeo!"

"Go!" Keldeo said.

**"_Friendship is Magic!_"** Zoroark called out.

"Uh, actually, skip that one. It's the pilot episode and it was a really solid beginning for the series," Keldeo said.

**"_The Return of Harmony!_"**

"It was annoying to see Twilight not notice that her friends were obviously being brainwashed or mind controlled or hypnotized or whatever Discord did to them."

**"_A Royal Canterlot Wedding_!"**

"Twilight was stupid to run out and call Cadence evil instead of calmly sharing her evidence with Celestia and Luna or investigating discreetly to truly expose Cadence as a fake."

**"_The Crystal Empire_!"**

"How DARE Celestia use the fate of an entire empire as a test! Also, why didn't Twilight bring the Elements of Harmony with her. And everyone seemed to put this test ahead of hundreds of innocent lives."

**"_Princess Twilight Sparkle_!"**

"They told Twilight to stay behind, and in the next scene realized that it was a bad idea. I mean, they needed her! They always need her! She's the sixth element, the brains, and the one with all the magic! Of course they couldn't have solved the problem without her!"

**"_Twilight's Kingdom!_"**

"This one was okay, actually. Next!"

**"_Cutie Map!_"**

"Starlight _was _a good villain. . .but then she and the episodes got ruined by _The Cutie Re-Mark. . . . . . . ._ yes, Zoroark, go ahead."

**"_The Cutie Re-Mark!_"**

"Starlight's backstory stinks! It doesn't even line up with her first appearance! In _Cutie Map, _she clearly was only doing it for power and control. Plus, Sunburst moving away is a lame excuse for everything she did anyway! She should have been bullied and treated unfairly because of her Cutie Mark or lack of one or something! Apple Bloom had the same backstory as her! _Apple Bloom_!"

**"_The Crystalling_!"**

"Flurry Heart just kept doing whatever she wanted. Things kept getting worse due to accidents and chance. And we had to be reminded of how stupid Starlight's backstory is!"

**"_To Where and Back Again_!"**

"I don't enjoy watching Starlight, Trixie, or Discord. Having them all together is even worse. This one is personal preference, to be honest."

**"_Shadow Play_!"**

"How did they not realize that setting the Pillars free would free the Pony of Shadows as well!? I almost don't blame Starswirl for hating Twilight!"

**"_School Daze_!"**

"Neighsay was aggravating, and not just because he was racist. He insulted world leaders! He was clearly goading them into declaring war on Equestria! How could he possibly believe Equestria could defeat all of the other races at once! He's an idiot!"

**"_School Raze_!"**

"We _never_ got a backstory for Gozy Glow. I don't care how evil she was. Without a backstory, she's a pointless bad character that exists only to provide something for the good guys to fight. I _wish_ Neighsay was the villain. It would've worked much better and prevented the whole controversy over putting a child in Tartarus. Where are her parents? Why couldn't they just put her in jail? Why put her right next to Tirek?!"

**"_The Beginning of the End!"_**

Keldeo put on a big smile and said, "Skip. I'll be talking about that one real soon."

**"_The Ending of the End!"_**

"Again, still no backstory for Cozy Glow, and they should not have turned her to stone! They should've just turned Chrysalis and Tirek to stone, and then have Discord snap his claws to make Cozy Glow's parents appear and drag her off by her ears while everyone laughs."

Aiden clapped his paws with approval and said, "Wow. A lighting round of negativity! . . A Toxtricity Round!"

Keldeo nodded, "Clever reference. So, yeah, that's our list of the episodes of _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic_ that are the _trickiest_ to like. They're not good, they're not bad, they're not even lukewarm. They just have really good _and_ really bad stuff that perks your interest as much as they frustrate you. And personally, I consider an episode that does _that _much better than a bland episode that makes you feel nothing."

Zoroark breathed in and out and said, "So. . . next?"

Keldeo nodded gravely, "Eeyup. The Top 10 _Worst _Episodes."

Aiden smacked his fist into his other paw and said, "Time to lose my temper. . ."

_**We'll be right back!**_


	8. S- Editorial 3- Songs into Specails

Keldeo stood up on his hindlegs in his Resolute Form, his Secret Sword shining brightly.

_**The show must go on!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .go on. . .go on. . .go on. . .**_

**Keldeo the Critic- Season Six**

**Christmas Special: Editorial 3- Songs That Could Be Christmas Specials**

Keldeo and his friends were all gathered in Matthais' Lakeview Manor homestead in Skyrim. Zoroark and his mother were cooking at the hearth. Munna was talking to Victini and Aiden the Scorbunny about her favorite books in Matthais' library, some of which actually captured even Victini's short attention span, particularly_ The Adventures of Eslaf Erol. _Meanwhile, Floyd the Pichu was playing some Christmas music on his guitar as Meloetta sang, much to the enjoyment of Keldeo and the rest of the Sword of Justice.

Keldeo turned and said with a smile, "Hello, and Merry Christmas! I know that we started to do that three part send off to _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic. _But it's Christmas time! And that's way more important than, well, anything else! So, my friends and I are all having a little Christmas vacation at Lakeview Manor, thanks to Matthais! The rest of his Galar team is outside having fun. Don't worry, Skyrim is extremely peaceful this time of year, even if it doesn't last! Anyways, since you're hear, how about I treat you to a special Christmas editorial. The subject: Christmas songs being turned into Christmas specials! This was what Ranking Bass did best! Just think of them: _Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer, Frosty the Snowman, Santa Claus is Coming to Town, The Little Drummer Boy, 'Twas the Night Before Christmas, _all of these were songs first! Even _Frosty's Winter Wonderland _was pretty much based on _Walking in a Winter Wonderland._ Modern Christmas specials have done this too, like _Grandma Got Run Over By a Reindeer _and _Last Christmas."_

Keldeo huffed and said, "Look, I'm not saying they're good, but they were still based off of Christmas songs. So then, let's see what other songs could possibly become fully developed stories for Christmas specials, animated or otherwise!"

At that moment, Floyd began to play a slower melody, and Meloetta closed her eyes and put heart into her words as she sang.

_I'm dreaming of a white Christmas_  
_Just like the ones I used to know_  
_Where the treetops glisten, and_  
_Children listen to hear_  
_Sleigh bells in the snow_

As Meloetta continued singing, Keldeo nodded and said, "Yes, this song has possibilities. I can picture a story about a person who now lives in a place where it never snows. It could be a fantasy where there's a curse that keep it from snowing on Christmas, and the heroes have to try and break the curse; or it could be more grounded with a sad old man who misses the white Christmasses he had a a child, and some other younger character try to make it snow for him or something. Either way, the story should end with everyone learning the lesson that you don't need snow, you just need to have the Christmas spirit of generosity and a desire to be kind to others.

The Swords of Justice listening to the song, and and complimented the performers when they finished, although Virizion seemed a bit iffy about icy, cold snow.

Meloetta giggled and turned to Floyd. "You take the next one!" she urged.

Floyd gave a grin back, and he began to play and sing himself.

_I_

_Saw mommy kissin' Santa Clause_

_Underneath_

_The mistletoe last night_

Keldeo grinned and said, "Oh, this one could be funny! The actual events of the song could happen at the very end of the special, like how _The Little Drummer Boy _was structured. The main character is a kid who really wants to see Santa Claus, and the whole special could be him trying to find funny, crazy, creative ways to stay up all night. Maybe he could try to make Santa traps. But then he ends up seeing his mom kissing Santa Claus, but no one believes. Maybe it could even further and have him discover that it was just his father dressed up like Santa, and when he learns that his dad did it to make, I dunno, sick kids at a hospital happy, he learns that the best 'Santa Claus' is sometimes your own family."

When Floyd finished, everyone smiled, except for Coballion, who just frowned and rolled his eyes.

Floyd smirked at Meloetta and said, "Alright, here we go. You ready for the big one?"

Meloetta nodded happily, and she twirled around and turned into a Pirouette Form.

Floyd immediately began playing some classic Rock 'N Roll, and Meloetta launched right into the song.

_Out of all the reindeer_  
_You know you're the mastermind_  
_Run run Rudolph_  
_Randolph's not too far behind_

_Run run Rudolph_  
_Santa's got to make it to town_  
_Randolph he can hurry_  
_He can take the freeway down_  
_And away went Rudolph_  
_Whizzin' like a merry go round_

Everyone in the home got up and moved to the rockin' music.

Keldeo wagged his tail excitedly and said, "Aw yeah! Now this is a lively tune! It gives us a _ton _to work with! Le'ts face it, Rudolph is one of the most popular children's Christmas icons! Right next to Scrooge, the Grinch, and Santa Claus himself. There's been three adaptions of the original song, and three sequels to the Rankin Bass classic. _Rudolph's Shiny New Year, _the _**Avenger's **_level of **epic** _Rudolph and Frosty's Christmas in July, _and the CGI _Rudolph and the Island of Misfit Toys. _I don't think one more sequel would do any harm!"

_Said Santa to a boy child_  
_What have you been longing for?_  
_All I want for Christmas is a_  
_Rock and roll electric guitar_  
_And then away went Rudolph_  
_Whizzin' like a shootin' star, yeah_

_Run run Rudolph_  
_Santa's got to make it to town_  
_Well can't you make him hurry_  
_Tell him he can take the freeway down_  
_And then away went Rudolph_  
_Whizzin' like a merry go round, yeah, ooo yeah_

_Said Santa to a girl child_  
_What would you like most to get?_  
_Oh I want baby doll that can cry, drink, scream oh yeah_  
_And then away went Rudolph_  
_Whizzin' like a saber jet, yeah_

Keldeo bobbed his head up and down and said, "Oh yeah, Kelly Clarkson really gave us some good lyrics here. It's all about Rudolph pulling Santa's sleigh as fast as he really does give us an actual story to work with. The boy who wants a guitar and the girl who wants a doll have to play an important role. Rudolph needs to go down onto the freeway for. . .some reason. Oh, and of course there's that mysterious Randolph character. Is he a villain? Is he a rival reindeer that hates Rudolph?"

Keldeo put on a clever grin and said, "Well, here's the way I picture it. It should be a CGI film, but _**good**__ CGI. _Like _Blue Sky Studios _quality. Rudolph should also be an adult in the movie, with fully grown antlers. We've seem him as little kid long enough. The plot would be that after the big Christmas Eve ride, Rudolph finds an elf from the mail room crying over the fact that he lost a letter from the two kids in the song, who were siblings, so Santa never stopped at their house to give them their presents. He's afraid of getting fired, so Rudolph offers to help, and they fly off to deliver the gifts without Santa finding out. Clarice and Hermy spot them leaving and they follow after them. Then the whole plot is them trying to get to the house, getting into trouble, eventually having to use a freeway to find the place. Also, Randolph should be an evil human hunter who wants to catch the flying, talking reindeer to make himself rich. Eventually they get to the house, and the boy and girl child end up helping them. There could be themes on how Rudolph struggles at handing his fame when every other house in the world has at least one piece of Rudolph merchandise on it during Christmas. Seriously, I'll bet that many of you can go out into your neighborhood and find something Rudolph related either on someone's front lawn or on their house right now, if not on or in front of _your own_ home."

Keldeo gave a nod and said, "And, yes, we have to address the whole point of Rudolph's story. Maybe the kids could bring up how Rudolph helped them cope with being bullied themselves. There's some potential here for something really heartwarming, or even heart-wrenchingly real."

_Run run Rudolph_  
_Run run Rudolph_  
_Runnin' like a son of gun_  
_Run run Rudolph_  
_Run run Rudolph_  
_Running like a son of gun_  
_Run, run, oh run, yeah_

The Swords of Justice stomped in applause after the song was finished. All of them appeared to enjoy the song a lot.

Keldeo then whispered, "Here are a couple of Honorable Mentions: _Santa Baby. _It's a terrible song, but it could make for a good story about a spoiled little girl or a selfish materialistic woman who gets shown the error of her ways by Santa or someone else, and then becomes more generous to her friends, her family, and to the poor. Kinda like a female Ebeneezer Scrooge or something. _I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas _could be funny if a talking animated hippo is involved. _Dominque the Donkey _could also make for a nice Rudolph-like underdog story. Plus, how many Italian Christmas Specials are there, anyway?"

"Last one?" Floyd said with a joyful smile.

"Last one," Meloetta said back, and she twirled around to turn back into her Aria Form.

Floyd then began to play his guitar with all his heart, creating a majestic melody which Meloetta sang to beautifully.

_Said the night wind to the little lamb:_  
_Do you see what I see?_  
_Way up in the sky little lamb_  
_Do you see what I see?_  
_A star, a star_  
_Dancing in the night_  
_With a tail as big as a kite_  
_With a tail as big as a kite_

Keldeo nodded solemnly, and he said, "_Do You Hear What I Hear? _A song that tells the story of the news of Jesus' birth being spread from the wind, to a lamb, to a shepherd boy, to a king, and to the people everywhere. Oh, and this is probably just something me and Matthais though of, but it's possible the the night wind in the song is referencing _1 Kings 19:12_. The wind is God Himself speaking."

* * *

**After the earthquake a fire, but the LORD was not in the fire; and after the fire a sound of a gentle blowing.**

* * *

"Anyway," Keldeo went on, "What makes this song perfect for a fun Christmas Special is the second part of the song."

_Said the little lamb to the shepherd boy:_  
_Do you hear what I hear?_  
_Ringing through the sky shepherd boy_  
_Do you hear what I hear?_  
_A song, a song_  
_High above the trees_  
_With a voice as big as the sea_  
_With a voice as big as the sea_

"Think about that for a moment," Keldeo said, "A lamb just talked to a shepherd boy. That has 'Christmas Special' written all over it! Basically, what we possibly have here is. . ."

Keldeo paused for a moment, then he sighed and concluded, ". . .a _good_ version of _Sony Pictures Animation's **The Star.**_"

Keldeo made a face as if disgusted, "The movie was just. . .not good. I mean, I can't believe Sony couldn't get right in one movie what _Big Idea Entertainment _had been doing perfectly for years with _VeggieTales_!"

Keldeo suddenly shook his head and quickly said, "No, no, no, I don't want to rant about anything now. It's Christmas! It isn't the time for that. All I'm gonna say is that if you're gonna make a funny, humorous story that involves Biblical events, you need to keep the comedy and humor separate from the actual Biblical event. In Rankin Bass' _The Little Drummer Boy, _Aaron sang the silly song _Why Can't the Animals Smile? _in the second Act, and then the third Act had no humor because that's when the Star of Bethlehem appeared. In Sony's disrespectful movie, they kept making light of this very holy and world saving moment. They made important figures from the Bible look stupid and cartoonish, and they put in way too much humor and had it happen right before and after important events- oh biscuits, I'm ranting. Look, _The Star _was bad. Moving on."

_Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king  
Do you know what I know  
In your palace wall mighty king  
Do you know what I know  
A child, a child  
Shivers in the cold  
Let us bring him silver and gold  
Let us bring him silver and gold_

Keldeo took a deep breath and cleared his throat. "So yeah, basically God gives the lamb the ability to talk so the shepherd boy can relate the news of Jesus' birth to the king, which I suppose is meant to be one of the three wise men from the Nativity. I mean, it's not like God hasn't done something like that before. In _Numbers 22:21 - 39, _God makes a donkey talk to teach the prophet Balaam a lesson about ignoring the obvious warning signs that God sends our way when we're about to do something wrong or stupid. So, in a way, this story could be just a plausible as _The Little Drummer Boy _was. The story could follow the lamb, who is certain the news the night wind told him needs to be spread; and the shepherd boy, who is uncertain and slightly unsettled by the fact that one of his lambs can talk now; as they both journey to inform the king of the Messiah's birth."

_Said the shepherd boy to the mighty king:_  
_Do you know what I know?_  
_In your palace wall mighty king_  
_Do you know what I know?_  
_A child, a child_  
_Shivers in the cold_  
_Let us bring him silver and gold_  
_Let us bring him silver and gold_

Keldeo smiled nervously and said, "So, yeah, in a way this would be a buddy/road-trip movie, with them becoming better friends and the shepherd boy becoming more and more convinced that Jesus is the Savior. And you can have funny moments in their, as long as you don't let the humor be tasteless or have it infect the important characters and events. Also, of course, the lamb and shepherd boy have to face a few challenges. Maybe King Herod could sent someone after them, or maybe we could have a throwback to Genesis and the Devil could send a talking snake to go after them. Or maybe we could do both! Who knows, I'm just coming up with ideas as I go along here."

Keldeo nodded and said, "Anyway, this could totally be the next _Little Drummer Boy_ if it was handled correctly. In other words, Sony can't be trusted with it! Disney/Pixar could probably do it justice though. It would be an exciting adventure filled with sweet character moments that all focus on one important message: that the good news of Jesus Christ must shared with all the people in world."

_Said the king to the people everywhere:_  
_Listen to what I say!_  
_Pray for peace, people everywhere_  
_Listen to what I say!_  
_The child, the child_  
_Sleeping in the night_  
_He will bring us goodness and light_  
_He will bring us goodness and light_

_He will bring us goodness and light_

Everyone in the house had come closer when the song had begun. After Meloetta finished singing and Floyd finished playing, everyone stomped, clapped, and cheered at the magnificent song.

And as everyone gathered together to talk and further enjoy each others company for the Christmas holiday, Keldeo smiled and said before he went in to join them, "Well, I'm Keldeo the Critic, and may you all have a merry and blessed Christmas."

**The End**

* * *

**_Credits_**

_Skyrim Special Edition_

_Rankin Bass Christmas Specials_

_White Christmas- _1942 Irving Berlin

_I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus - 1952 _Tommie Connor

_Santa Baby - 1953 _Joan Javits and Philip Springer

_I Want a Hippopotamus for Christmas- __1953_ John Rox

_Dominque the Donkey- 1960 _Ray Allen, Sam Saltzberg and Wandra Merrell

_Run Rudolph, Run - 1958 _Johnny Marks and Marvin Brodie

_Do You Hear What I Hear? - 1962 _Noël Regney


	9. 5- Top 10 MLP:FiM Episodes - Part 2

Keldeo stood up on his hindlegs in his Resolute Form, his Secret Sword shining brightly.

_**The show must go on!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . . go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .go on. . .**_

**Keldeo the Critic- Season Six**

**Episode 5: Top 10 Trickiest, Worst, and Best Episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic**

Keldeo, Zoroark, and Aiden were finishing up some Curry on Rice that Matthais had made for them.

Keldeo licked his lips and breathed out loudly, his eyes watering a bit as he said, "Phew! Nothing like some Spicy Seasoned Curry to get us ready to talk about the worst episodes of Friendship is Magic!"

Zoroark shook his head and nodded, "You got that right! My blood's on fire right now! Let's do this!"

Aiden was eagerly licking his plate, and when he was done, he set the plate down and nodded eagerly. "Okay. I'm done. Let's go."

Keldeo smiled and said, "Here are the Top 10 Worst Episodes of _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic_."

_**Number 10. . . .**_

_**Season 4, Episode 24: Equestria Games**_

Keldeo sighed sadly and said, "So many missed opportunities. . ."

"Poor Spike. . ." Aiden said with a frown.

"Griffons!" Zoroark shouted.

Keldeo nodded and said, "This episode wasn't fun. Spike was abused so much in this episode that _I _felt it! He gets hurt, he acts stupid, he's humilated, it's awful! Why build up the Equestria Games so much only to have it be a Spike-abuse episode! It's just so sad. Spike gets to light the Equestria Games torch, but chokes up and can't do it. Twilight secretly lights it for him with her magic, but then Spike has a stupid scene where he thinks he can create fire with his mind. When Twilight tells him the truth, he gets so depressed that he decides to run out and start singing!"

"Griffons!" Zoroark repeated.

Aiden grabbed his ears and tugged at him as he groaned and said, "That horrible Cloudsdale anthem!"

Keldeo visibly winced and said, "Yeah, that was just terrible. Having Spike sing random lyrics about Cloudsdale having trees and stuff, on and on and on, all in front of thousands of ponies, all of them either bewildered or furious at him. . . . UGH! It's just terrible! It's not funny, it's agonizing! Both because the song is terrible and Spike is being put through torment! I'm just glad Spike was able to save everyone from the giant ice cloud at the end so he could be redeemed in everypony's eyes."

"Griffons!" Zoroark shouted again.

"Yes, yes, I'm getting to that," Keldeo said, "The fact that this episode introduces a team of three griffons and does _nothing _with them, they don't even talk! We could have gotten a message about understanding your opponents! Maybe the Mane Six could assume the griffons are bad because of how Gilda acted, and resolve to crush them no matter what. But then they see that the griffin team just wants to do their best and test their skills against the ponies, and it ends with both teams respecting each other. But instead we got a horrible Spike episode that seems more like something out of _Spongebob_!"

"'_Here lies Spike's hopes and dreams'_!" Zoroark said.

_**Number 9. . . .**_

_**Season 6, Episode 10: Applejack's "Day" Off**_

"Applejack's not stupid!" Aiden shouted angrily

Victini flew over and rang a Soothe Bell in Aiden's ear, visibly calming the Scorbunny a bit.

Keldeo nodded and said, "Yeah, this episode does make Applejack look pretty stupid. But even before that, this episode's plot really felt. . . unfocused to me. Twilight and Spike do some of Applejack's farmwork so Rarity can take Applejack to the spa for a day of relaxation. But then it turns out that the steam isn't working at the spa, threatening to ruin everypony's day of relaxation. Luckily, Applejack is able to figure out what's wrong and fixes the pipes, which. . .makes Rarity angry? Why? Applejack just saved everypony's spa day, why is Rarity upset about this? It makes no sense. But then I thought it over and figured that the moral would be that different people find relaxation in different things. Applejack would fix up the spa, Rarity would be upset that Applejack is relaxing at first, and then she would see that fixing things not related to farming makes Applejack calm and happy. Lots of people find pleasure in tasks like this. After the moral, the two of them would finally be able to do Rarity's style of relaxation once the spa was all fixed up."

Keldeo then huffed and said, "But nope! That's not the message at all! After fixing the spa, Rarity and Applejack go back to the farm, and what does Applejack reveal to us?"

Zoroark folded his arms and said in an exasperated tone of voice, "Applejack has been running her entire farm in the most ridiculous, insane, inefficient, and _embarrassing_ way possible. Why? Because she's an idiot. She's clucking like a chicken and wasting farm material. Why? Because she's an idiot. She needs to be told the right way to run her own farm by ponies who have never run a farm before. Why? Because she's an idiot!"

"It's a lie! Applejack is not this dumb- WHY ARE YOU RINGING THAT IN MY EAR FOR!?" Aiden snapped fiercely at Victini, who quickly flew off with the seemingly ineffective Soothe Bell.

Aiden took a few deep breaths, then he looked at Keldeo and Zoroark, who were staring at him. Aiden's ears drooped as he looked down at his feet in shame. "I'm. . .sorry about that. . .I'm ashamed."

Keldeo frowned and said, "Well, this episode felt weird and pointless, it had a wonky moral, and it made Applejack look terrible. I'd rather forget all about this one."

_**Number 8. . . .**_

_**Season 4, Episode 10: Rainbow Falls**_

"The Wonderbolts are evil!" Zoroark shouted.

Keldeo had a conflicted look on his face, then he sighed and said, "This show seems to like making the Wonderbolts look bad. If they're not getting knocked out by Rarity or captured by Spike, they're scheming and plotting to sabotage other teams. It really is kinda sick how Spitfire and Fleetfoot share a smirk right after Soarin is injured, and then immediately try to tempt Rainbow into ditching Ponyvile to take Soarin's place."

Aiden was the very picture of fury as he shouted angrily, "Those stupid jerks! Betraying their own teammate like that!"

"But wait! There's more!" Keldeo said, "On top of that, we have other characters acting stupid! Rarity should understand that flight suits need to be functional, and she's shown to be able to make functional, yet stylish clothing when she made the Mare Do Well costume, but here she makes really stupid looking and frilly flight suits for . . . what, the sake of a joke! And a lame one at that!"

Keldeo looked quite irritated and said, "Oh, and Snowflake-."

"Don't you mean Bulk Biceps?" Zoroark said.

"Whatever!" Keldeo shouted irately, "They made him into a stereotypical idiot with big muscles!"

_**Bulk Biceps: **_"_P is for Rainbow Dash!"_

"That's just lazy! Why couldn't they go with something more interesting or clever? They could've done something like the Heavy from _Team Fortress 2_. A guy who looks like a big, dumb brute but is actually alot smarter than he appears," Keldeo suggested.

_**Heavy: **_"_Some people think they can outsmart me. . . .Maybe. . . Maybe. . . But I have not met one person that can outsmart bullet."_

Aiden smiled and nodded, "Oh yeah, that sounds cool." Then he scowled and siad, "Too bad we're never gonna get to see that. . ."

_**Number 7. . . .**_

_**Season 7, Episode 9: Honest Apple**_

"ANOTHER episode where Applejack is an idiot!?" Aiden shouted in disbelief.

"I. . . yeah, I agree with you," Keldeo said sourly, "Applejack should have the sense to realize that she was being mean. She should've realized that she just doesn't get fashion and told Rarity to find somepony else. Not only was she pointlessly cruel to the fashion designers, but she even destroyed one of the creations because. . . ugh! Applejack wouldn't do that!"

Zoroark nodded and said, "Yeah, Applejack might be stubborn and blunt, but I don't see why she would ever verbally attack someone and destroy their property just because _she_ doesn't like it. This episode could have worked if they had toned her down a bit, but they didn't! So this episode stinks!"

"Hear, hear!" Aiden said as he wiggled his ears.

"Incredibly Lame Pun," Keldeo said flatly.

_**Number 6. . . .**_

_**Season 3, Episodes 11 and 12: Just For Sidekicks and Games Ponies Play**_

"It's a two for one, spot!" Keldeo said with excitement.

"Why are you even smiling?" Aiden asked.

"It's _My Little Pony_, even talking about the bad stuff is kinda fun for me," Keldeo said with a smile.

Aiden shrugged, "Okay, fair enough. And it makes sense that we're doing both of these episodes at once. They're linked."

"Yeah, in the wrong order," Keldeo complained, "_Games Ponies Play _is the one that ends on the cliffhanger, so why wasn't that one first? It could've gotten us excited for _Just For Sidekicks._"

Zoroark stared at Keldeo in shock and said, "_Excited _for that episode?"

Keldeo sighed, "Yeah, these weren't that good. _Just For Sidekicks _had Spike messing around with all the pets, being immature, and being too stupid to bake a cake. Oh, and Zecora is a jerk to him, stealing one of his gems while he's struggling and suffering."

"They also put Peewee the phoenix chick on a bus!" Zoroark shouted, "They took 5 seconds to show us a bunch of fun looking photos of Spike bonding with Peewee, and one of him bringing him back to his parents. You know, instead of, maybe, I don't know, making a fun episode of Spike and Peewee bonding with an ending moral of being able to let someone you love go for their sake."

Keldeo nodded sadly, "Yeah, they really wasted Peewee. Instead we got Angel bunny being a brat. Look, I'm sorry, but after his behavior in _Putting Your Hoof Down, _I cannot stomach this punk."

"What about _Games Ponies Play_? That was really lame and dumb," Aiden said sourly, "I mean, assuming someone's identity based on what their luggage looks like? Bullocks!"

Keldeo shrugged, "I kinda just thought it was boring, and the Mane Six were actually pretty dumb in this episode. The jokes didn't really work either."

"Oh look, Pinkie said yes instead of no," Zoroark said emotionlessly, "Oh look, Twilight is hyperventilating. Oh look, Rainbow Dash smacked into the window. Lame."

_**Number 5. . . .**_

_**Season 4, Episode 23: Inspiration Manifestation**_

"Hit it, Petrie from _The Land Before Time,_" Keldeo said.

_**Petrie: **_"_It's boring. Boring. Very, very, boring. . ."_

Keldeo shrugged, "So. . . Rarity gained Discord level powers from an evil spellbook, and is just making things look pretty? I mean, sure, it's inconveniencing everyone. . .but that's it. And the audience knows pretty early on that all Spike has to do to break the curse is to say that he doesn't like what Rarity's doing. Sure, Rarity is acting all crazy and stuff, but she's not really _hurting _anyone, and since we all know what Spike is gonna do, it becomes boring."

Zoroark frowned and said, "It's also _really _annoying to see Spike take so long to speak up against Rarity! I mean, come on! Her eyes are glowing green, her voice is crazy, her movements are crazy, she's doing bad stuff; she's clearly a crazy person! Who wants to have an insane girlfriend! If anything, you should've gotten her some help because, like I said, _she's clearly insane! _Spike, you're a wimp!"

"I think we should move on," Aiden suggested softly.

_**Number 4. . . .**_

_**Season 8, Episode 14: A Matter of Principals**_

"This was too meanspirited, Discord did a whole bunch of terrible stuff and didn't get punished for it, and Starlight has to degrade herself just the shut Discord up," Keldeo said flatly with rage in his eyes, "I HATED Discord in this episode! So much, that we're just gonna move on now. Come on, let's go. Move it!"

_**Number 3. . . .**_

_**Season 2, Episode 4: Luna Eclipsed**_

Keldeo facehoofed hard and moaned, "Oh, Pinkie, Pinkie, Pinkie!"

Aiden scratched his left ear in thought and said, "So. . .is the moral of the episode that, '_if people expect you to act a certain way, or will only like you if you act the way they want you to. . .you should just do it'_?"

Zoroark threw his arms up and said, "That's what it looks like!"

Keldeo put his forehoof down and said, "This is just _so_ frustrating! I mean, I guess I could understand them being afraid. Luna looks completely different than she did in the Premier, it's at night, she made a dramatic entrance, she's shouting at them at the top of her lungs, and it's a holiday all about Nightmare Moon eating them. I think the real problem is how Pinkie makes things so hard for Luna and kinda ruins her life, and then has the smug attitude when Twilight confronts her on it."

Keldeo stomped his forehoof for emphasis and said, "You know what? How about we all just read _A Joke With No Punchline _by _**hattafan2593 **_on FimFictionNet (TinyURL: _**yx3kuphe**_) and use that to replace the third act of this horrible episode. It gives a much better moral than what the show gave us. Nobody should have to go along with something they dislike just to get others to approve of them. That's wrong! Thank you so much _**hattafan2593 **_for giving us a great alternative for our headcannon."

_**Number 2. . . .**_

_**Season 7, Episode 14: Fame and Misfortune**_

"Why would you deliberately insult your fanbase?" Keldeo said in utter bewilderment, "I mean, sure, fandoms shouldn't get all obsessive and overly emotional and attack the writers and stuff; but was the Brony fanbase really that bad? Sure, they got mad about Alicorn Twilight, and about Discord, and about Equestria Girls, and about Flash Sentry, and about Starlight-."

"Uh, you're kinda disproving your own point," Aiden remarked.

"The point is. . ." Keldeo shouted impatiently, ". . .that this episode seems to be deliberately mocking the Bronies for having questions and complaints about the show. Hasbro is a multi-million dollar corporation, and yet they act like they're all offended when people say Fluttershy keeps learning similar morals, or that they prefer certain episodes over others? Just let us discuss your show! Would you rather us ignore it and _**not**_ give it publicity?"

"Well, I thought the ending stank," Aiden said sourly, "I mean, everypony is still angry and hateful, except for these two little ponies out of a whole town, or _kingdom_ for all we know! In that case, they shouldn't have published the Friendship Journal in the first place. It wasn't worth helping just two ponies while the rest of the world kills each other! They should've just talked to those two ponies and that's it. It would've saved the Mane Six from a lot of pain and suffering."

Zoroark cleared his throat loudly and said, "How about the 'we're real ponies' argument?"

Keldeo groaned and facehooved, "Yeah, one of the arguments Twilight gives against the EVIL fans is that the Friendship Journal contains real events about real ponies. _In universe,_ this is a valid argument. But to the viewers. . .yeah, it falls flat. Hard."

Keldeo put his hoof back down and said, "Okay, let's just add this episode to the pile of episodes that we can pretend that never happen and _finally _finish off this list."

Munna suddenly flew in and shouted, "Honorable mentions!"

Keldeo sighed, but smiled and said, "Yeah, we have a few honorable mentions to throw in, just to cover all of our bases."

_**Honorable Mentions**_

_**Trickiest Episodes**_

"I have a bit of a problem with all of the Daring Do episodes where she's a real pony," Keldeo said, "_Daring Don't, Stranger than Fanfiction, Daring Done?, _and _Daring Doubt. _Mostly because Rainbow acts pretty dimwitted and helpless in those episodes. Characters act stupidly and are annoying-."

Zoroark shuddered, "Ugh! Quibble Pants!"

"-, and _Daring Doubt _seems to either ignore or retcon all of the evil stuff Ahuizotl and Dr. Caballeron did in the past for the sake of a reformation that should have gone to the _actual_ main villains of Season 9. . . but I digress," Keldeo said with a smile.

_**(Dis)Honorable Mentions**_

_**Worst Episodes**_

_**Season 1, Episode 21: Over A Barrel**_

Keldeo had a look of discomfort on his face as he said slowly, "They _really _shouldn't have tried to adapt something as painful and controversial as the plight of Native Americans into something so trivial and silly."

Aiden had his arms folded and was tapping his right foot speedily, leaving a scorch mark on the ground as he said viciously, "Pinkie Pie's stupid singing!"

_**Season 8, Episode 21: A Rockhoof and Hard Place**_

"And we all thought the suicide references in _No Second Prances _were bad!" Zoroark remarked loudly.

"Zoroark! Hold back!" Keldeo shouted back, then he sighed and said, "Yeah, but he's right. Rockhoof wanting to be turned to stone is _clearly_ a reference to suicide. I know why a lot of people would hate this episode because of this. . ."

Keldeo shook his head and said, "But I just can't hate this episode. Mostly because we get a lot lore expansion, especially for the Hippogriffs. And it's really touching to see Yona bond with Rockhoof. It also has a happy ending, and it teaches that sometimes all a person needs is for someone to show them kindness and genuine appreciation for their existence. So, yeah, Rockhoof wanting to kill himself really ruins things, but I still have a soft spot for the good parts."

Keldeo nodded solemnly, "Okay. . . this is it."

_**And the Number 1 Worst Episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is. . .**_

_**Season 2, Episode 18: A Friend in Deed**_

"How DARE they put such a great song in a horrible episode!" Keldeo shouted, "Stuff like that is what really gets me mad. When they put nice things in with something horrible and hard to watch. The _Smile Song_ is one of the series' greatest hits! Bronies from all over came together to sing _The Massive Smile Project _(TinyURL: **7zom98m**) to show their love for this show. But this episode is just. . .awful!"

Zoroark nodded, "Yeah, I know. It-."

"ENOPE!" Keldeo shouted suddenly with an angry look on his face, "I've been waiting too long to talk about this mess! I'm going solo on this! So stand back, 'cause here I go!"

Keldeo stood firm on the ground and said, "A story about Pinkie dealing with someone who refuses to be friends with her or anybody else is a good idea, but it's executed _horrible_ here! The _Smile Song _seems to set up Pinkie as someone who wants to make others happy just because she feels that everyone deserves to be happy, but the episodes presents her as someone who does it selfishly! Like, she does it so _she _can feel good about herself. This was actually the premise of _Pinkie Pride, _and she ended up seeing the error of her ways be the end. But _A Friend in Deed _seems to be. . unaware of this glaring flaw, I don't know!"

Keldeo huffed and said, "Okay, I think the point where this episode nosedives is when Pinkie accidentally destroys Cranky's book. To me, that scene of stuff being randomly catapulting around the room so the book can catch fire says that the writer was desperate to stretch the story out. Pinkie was just about to tell Cranky that she knows Matilda, and that would've literally ended the episode. But since we still have half an episode left, we had to see this stupid scene just so Pinkie can get cut off and kicked out of Cranky's house."

Keldeo ground his teeth a bit, then he said, "So, after Pinkie destroys Cranky's property and clearly upsets him a great deal. . .does she feel bad and resolve to make things right in a way Cranky would appreciate-NO! She decides to literally torment the poor guy until he accepts her apology! Are you _**biscuit**_ kidding me! She doesn't even really apologize! She just says the word '_really' _a hundred times and then the word '_sorry'. _And she says it with a smile! Who smiles when they're apologizing for something bad they did? Someone who doesn't mean it! Pinkie Pie is an entitled little brat in this episode, and feels more like Spongebob Squarpants at his worst!"

Keldeo huffed and puffed loudly, and he continued, "But then, Cranky just _has_ to forgive her and be her friend because she reunited him with his girlfriend! So yeah, Pinkie doesn't learn anything and gets off scott free! Biscuits, this episode is disgusting!"

Keldeo then turned around fact and glared at Aiden and Zoroark. "What's that? You don't think I could do better?"

Aiden took a step back and said nervously, "Um, we didn't say-."

"You're on!" Keldeo shouted, and he turned back around and said, "I think the scene where Pinkie accidentally ruins Cranky's wig and embarrassed him is okay. She's in character there. I also like how she treats him to a spa treatment and buys him a new wig. So yeah, that's the part where we can start making changes. You see, the problem with this episode is that Cranky should've been made out to be the antagonist, but Pinkie ended up being the villain instead. So, in my version, instead of thanking Pinkie for the wig, he just grouchily grabs it and tells her to keep out of his way, then he storms off leaving Pinkie all dejected and guilty for ruining his arrival in Ponyville."

"Next scene! Cranky arrives at his new house and sees that Pinkie is already there, and has painted it. How? It's Pinkie Pie, don't question it. It doesn't matter what color she paints it or how good the paint job is, Cranky still reacts angrily. We get a little back in forth about how Pinkie just wants Cranky to feel welcome, while Cranky is sure that she has an ulterior motive. The scene ends with Cranky going on a mean spirit rant about how he hates being around others and wants the entire world to leave him alone because it's cruel and cold and whatever. Then he storms in and slams the door in Pinkie's face."

"Next scene is a reworked conversation between Pinkie, Rainbow Dash, and Twilight. This version ends with Pinkie resolving to do nice things for Cranky _without him knowing who's doing it._"

"We then get a montage of Pinkie being a _smile ninja, _secretly doing nice things for Cranky. Delivering cakes and sweets to his house, paying for his groceries while he's not looking, shielding him from being splashed by mud from a passing carts, fun stuff like that. The montage in the original was maddening and torturous to Cranky, while my version is actually clever, creative, and fun to watch. But then Cranky finally catches her doing something nice for him, and he ends up flipping out. During his rant, he would say something like, '_My desire to make friends left with Matilda!'_. Pinkie recognizes the name and tries to tell Cranky, but he keeps interrupting her. Maybe then he says something really mean, or maybe even somehow breaks something of Pinkie's, like her welcome wagon. Maybe he pushes it down the hill and off the cliff like in _The Mysterious Mare Do Well. _Anyway, he does that and leaves Pinkie in the dust."

"Next scene is Cranky at his house, and Matilda arrives at his front door. We get the flashbacks like in the original, and Matilda reveals that Pinkie Pie told her that he was here, which seriously shocks Cranky."

"Next scene is Cranky and Matilda visiting Pinkie at Sugarcube Corner, where he and Pinkie have a little exchange:"

_**Cranky: **_"_Pinkie. . .I was so grouchy and mean. . . I wanted nothing to do with you. . .After everything I said to you. . .Why did do this for me?"_

_**Pinkie: **_"_Well, duhh! It's because you weren't happy, and everypony. . . or everydonkey, deserves to be happy!"_

"Okay, and here's an important change. In the original, first Cranky smiles, and then he says he'll be Pinkie's friend, and that makes her take off like a rocket with happiness. But in my version, first Cranky says he'll be friends with Pinkie. _Then_, Matilda is glad to see Cranky and Pinkie getting along, and she kisses him and makes him smile, and _that _is what causes Pinkie to explode with happiness and take off like a rocket. This way, it's more true to her character and shows that all she _really _wants is others to be happy. We then end the episode the way the original did."

Keldeo suddenly through his hooves up into the air and shouted, "YES! Now I don't have to think or talk about this episode ever again! WOO-HOO!"

Keldeo then fell flat on his back and laid there, completely exhausted.

Aiden and Zoroark just stared at him for a moment. Then Zoroark said, "Oooookay. . .so, yeah, we're just gonna let him rest up for the main event. _**The Top 10 Greatest Episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic! **_Stay tuned!"

* * *

_**We'll be right back!**_


	10. Google's Pokemon of the Year Contest

Hi! Matthais Unidostres here! I just wanted to take a moment to bring something up. Something very important to anyone and everyone who loves Pokemon.

It's Google's **_Pokemon of the Year _**contest!

By logging into your Google Account and searching "_Pokemon Vote" _on Google, you will shown a special ballet box where you can vote for your favorite Pokemon for each of the 8 Generations. The voting began on February 5th and will end on February 14th, and the 8 winners will be announced on February 27th, the anniversary of _Pokemon Red and__ Green's _Japanese release in 1996. Everyone can vote once in each category each day, which means 8 votes a day until the 14th. Then, when all is said and done, we will have definitive proof of which Pokemon truly are the best of them all!

So, I think it's only fair that I share the 8 Pokemon that I'm voting for!

Gen 1: Eevee

One of the cutest Pokemon of all time, plus there are those 8 Eeveelutions, meaning that by voting for Eevee, it's like I'm voting for 9 Pokemon at once!

Gen 2: Umbreon

I know I already voted for Eevee, but none of the other Gen 2 Pokemon appeal to me. Umbreon is really cool and sleek and has great black and gold colors; all while still being cute.

Gen 3: Absol

Gen 3 had some really good Pokemon, but I couldn't possible pick anyone but Absol. If any Pokemon deserves love, it's Absol for how hard they work warning people of disasters, even if it means taking the blame. Their scythe-like horns are powerful, and their pure white fur is awesome. Don't forget Mega Absol!

Gen 4: Lucario

THIS ONE WAS SO HARD! I love Buneary, Leafeon, Grovyle, Luxio, Luxray, Buizel, Garchomp. . .

So, yeah, I picked Lucario for his sheer popularity and staying power in the series. Plus, he had a movie. . .and is in Smash.

Gen 5: Keldeo

Big surprise, I know. But if _Kyurem vs the Sword of Justice _never existed, then I probably would've picked Zoroark. Zebstrika's cool too.

Gen 6: Braixen

Braixen has the most personality in my opinion. Not much to say here, Kalos was kinda bland.

Gen 7: POPPLIO!

I was going to pick Primarina, but after ALLLLL that hate Popplio received, it would be wrong to not vote for it. Popplio EARNED all of our votes with all the hate it had to deal with. It would be no less than poetic justice for Popplio to be the most popular Pokemon in Alola. If Popplio doesn't win, I'm gonna be furious, and so will Keldeo and everyone else on _Keldeo the Critic! _I'm dead serious, mark my words! You all better go and vote for Popplio EVERY DAY!

Gen 8: Scorbunny

I _did_ like many of Galar's Pokemon. Wooloo is adorable when it rolls around, Corviknight is so cool, Flapple is fun, Poltegeist is clever, and Alcremie is so sweet and hug-able and has an incredible Gigantamax form. But, all in all, I just love Scorbunny. He's the perfect mix between cute and tough. It's a spunky little fighter that's always on the move. I love my Scorbunny Aiden so much that I never evolved him, and never will (I'll get another one via trade and evolve that one to fill out my Pokedex).

So. . .what do you think? Can any of my choices win? I'm confident on Absol, Lucario, and Eevee to have the best shot, but we'll see. I've hear rumors that Bulbasaur is gonna be the Gen 1 winner. . .but we'll just have to wait and see.

So, go ahead! Go to Google and vote already! Make sure the vote everyday! This is an important event in the history of this franchise! HURRY! GO NOW! VOTE FOR POPPLIO ALREADY!


	11. 5 - Top 10 MLP:FIM Episodes - Part 3

Keldeo stood up on his hindlegs in his Resolute Form, his Secret Sword shining brightly.

**_The show must go on!_**

**_Go on. . . go on. . . go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .go on. . ._**

**Keldeo the Critic- Season Six**

**Episode 5: Top 10 Trickiest, Worst, and Best Episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic**

Keldeo licked his lips as he lifted his face up from the plate of curry he had finished. "Woo-hoo! There is nothing like Sweet Apple Curry! That is SUPER!"

Aiden finished his own curry and then looked over at Zoroark, saying, "I guess the sugar revived him."

Zoroark put his plate aside and shrugged, saying, "Whatever. So, are we ready to finish this on a happy note!"

Keldeo got up excitedly and said, "We sure are! Let's do this! Here's the Top 10 Best Episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic!"

**_Number 10. . . ._**

**_Season 4, Episode 12: Pinkie Pride_**

"If anyone could play a male version of Pinkie Pie, it's Weird Al Yankovic!" Keldeo said with a smile.

Aiden hopped in place with excitement and said, "Cheese Sandwich is so much fun! He's not just a Rule 63 Pinkie Pie. He's different. A bit more wild and showy and. . .less sane. . .in a good way!"

Zoroark cracked a smile and said, "I gotta admit, that Goof Off was _cosmic. _It's like, having those two in the same place kinda shook up reality. It certainly explains the crazy live action visuals gags that look like they came right out of Spongebob."

"And the moral improves Pinkie's character 100 percent," Keldeo said with a smile, "She learns that making others happy is more important that satisfying your own ego. Something she _should_ have learned by in _A Friend In Deed, _but I'm not gonna talk about that again! It's over! I'm free! Moving on!"

**_Number 9. . ._**

**_Season 9, Episode 12: The Last Crusade_**

Zoroark suddenly roared at the top of his lungs, "SCOOTALOO IS NOT AN ORPHAN!"

Aiden grabbed his ears and shouted back irately, "You didn't have to use the Royal Canterlot Voice on us!"

Keldeo grinned and said, "Yeah, the fandom has been writing fanfics about Scootaloo being an orphan for _years._ It's kinda crazy when you think about it, for the show to wait until the _final season_ to debunk all of that. But anyway, the emotions in this episode are _awesome._ From her parents' passion in their exciting job, to the Crusaders desire not to be split up, to how every single creature they've connecting with showing up to show how important Scootaloo is. It really is touching."

Aiden gave a small smile and said, "I liked the funny parts too. Like when they try and make a fake creature for her parents to study. Scootaloo's aunts were good characters as well."

Zoroark nodded and said, "It's so cool that the two sisters in law get along so well, and provide plenty of love and care for Scootaloo."

Keldeo nodded, "This is definitely a perfect way to end the Cutie Mark Crusader storyline. Let's just pretend the one where they got aged up happened _before _this one."

**_Number 8. . . ._**

**_Season 6, Episode 19: The Fault in Our Cutie Marks_**

Aiden sighed and said, "Alas, poor Gabby. You had so little screen time."

Keldeo nodded in agreement, "Yeah, Gabby was so cute and cheerful and kind and innocent and had such a big heart. She deserved more appearances and speaking roles."

"Hey, don't forget about the Crusaders!" Zoroark interjected, "They worked really hard to apply their experiences to help Gabby, and the gift and lesson they give her at the end was really sweet."

Keldeo then gave a sly grin and said, "Well, all I have to say is that I'm glad Spike the girlfriend he deserved."

Aiden opened his mouth, but then closed and shrugged before remarking, "I was gonna argue that it was never confirmed, but I don't ship Spike and Rarity, so whatever."

**_Number 7. . ._**

**_Season 2, Episode 16: Read it and Weep_**

"The one and only good Daring Do episode," Keldeo remarked dryly, but then he cheered up and said, "And also a totally awesome Rainbow Dash episode!"

Zoroark was grinning widely as he said, "Seeing Daring Do go through all that action is awesome!"

Aiden held up a paw and added, "Rainbow Dash is also funny and cute at parts, and the scene where she breaks into the hospital just to get that book is just too funny!"

"It also teaches a moral that applies very well to people who might have written this show off," Keldeo explained.

**_Rainbow Dash: _**"_I'm an egghead!"_

**_Viewers: _**"_I'm a Brony!"_

"_My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic _is a really good show that many people will enjoy once they give it a chance. The Brony community is clear proof of that. Never knock something until you try it," Keldeo said.

**_Number 6. . ._**

**_Season 1, Episode 3: The Ticket Master_**

"Season 1?" Zoroark said with surprise.

"Can you blame me," Keldeo said with a gleeful look.

"Nope!" Zoroark replied with a gleeful look of his own.

"This could easily be the first episode of the series and still be good," Keldeo said, "It does a good job in introducing Spike and the Mane Six, showing us what they're like, they're personalities, and how they act, react, and interact."

Aiden smiled and said, "It also shows how much Twilight values her friends."

"It's just a really good time!" Keldeo said, "No high stakes. No complicated situations. Just a nice, simple story between 7 good friends. It's funny, it's character driven, it has a funny chase scene. It's just a shining symbol of why so many people fell in love with this show."

**_Number 5. . ._**

**_Season 8, Episode 15: The Hearth's Warming Club_**

"_Of course _there had to be a Young Six episode on this list!" Keldeo practically exclaimed.

"Um, this is the one where we learn Gallus is an orphan, right?" Aiden said bashfully.

Keldeo nodded solemnly, and he said, "Yeah. It shows how when people experience pain, they tend to go to desperate measures to escape it. Gallus didn't want to be separated from his friends, so he vandalized the Hearths Warming Eve Tree to keep them there. But in the end, his friends understood what he was going through and decided to stay with him."

"Hey!" Zoroark said suddenly, "Let's not forget all those great stories the others told about their own holidays. They were really entertaining. We even got some lore, like when Smolder told the tale of Dragon Lord Scales."

Keldeo smiled and said, "I liked Ocellus' story. So funny and cute!"

"I like Sandbar's story," Aiden said.

Zoroark and Keldeo stared at him.

"What?" the Scorbunny said with blinking eyes.

**_Number 4. . ._**

**_Season 1, Episode 25: Party of One_**

"The one where Pinkie Pie goes INSANE!" Zoroark shouted.

"Comedy gold!" Keldeo cheered, "These low stakes, more interpersonal stories are really enjoyable and fun to watch! Everything in this episode is funny! From Gummy's birthday party, to Applejack's inability to lie, to Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash's housesitting excuse, and Pinkie investigating disguise, to her interrogation of Spike, to her mad Companion Cube party, it's SOOOOO GOOD!"

"It also does a good job at throwing you off the trail," Aiden remarked, "The kinda uncomfortable party at the beginning makes you think that Pinkie's friends really _are_ trying to avoid her. But in the end, they all still love her and just want to do something nice for her. If they did feel like sitting out of a party, they would probably just be honest and no feeling would even be hurt."

Keldeo blinked, and he said with a proud smile, "Wow, that was really good, Aiden."

Aiden smiled bashfully and said, "Well, I had a good teacher. . ."

Zoroark rolled his eyes and grumbled, "Hmph, just because the Swords of Justice are compatible with _Sword and Shield_. . ."

**_Number 3. . ._**

**_Season 2, Episode 3: Lesson Zero_**

"The one where Twilight Sparkle goes _INSANE!_" Zoroark shouted again.

"Twilight's funny, Rarity's funny, Spike is funny, Big Mac is funny! Everyone is so funny!" Keldeo shouted excitedly.

"Actually, Spike is more of a snarker," Aiden chimed in.

Keldeo nodded and said, "That's right, he was. And he also was clearly looking out for Twilight and called in Celestia in order to keep things from getting too bad. Which also leads in to her friends coming in to save her from being punished, because they _didn't _take her worries seriously."

Keldeo then cracked a smile and said, "But even before that, we have so much meme worthy material! From Rarity's fainting couch to Dash's Sonic Rainnuke to Fluttershy seemingly going off on Harry the bear. This and _Party of One _were the episodes that truly got Matthais and I to fall in love with this show."

**_Number 2. . ._**

**_Season 9, Episodes 1 and 2: The Beginning of the End Parts 1 and 2_**

"This is easily the greatest two parter of the ENTIRE SERIES!" Keldeo said brightly.

Zoroark blinked and said, "Wow. . .that's a glowing review."

Aiden shrugged and said, "Well, we did bring up how all the other two parters have glaring flaws in them back in the Top Trickiest part."

"But this one is just so. . ." Keldeo was so excited that he almost couldn't speak, "I mean, first of all: Grogar! He was one of the biggest and baddest villains from G1 My Little Pony. A cold, dark necromancer that would put even Ganondorf to shame! And he maintains his dark, serious, all powerful demeanor here. Not only does he break Tirek and Cozy Glow out of Tartarus, but he also resurrects King Sombra! Grogar is _hardcore!_"

"Yeah, until the Season 9 finale ruins it," Zoroark remarked.

"Nope! We're not talking about that! We're only focusing on the premier! We're keeping this two parter in a vacuum, separate from the finale!" Keldeo said quickly, still keeping his smile.

Aiden grinned and said, "I don't blame you."

Keldeo gave a nod and said, "Well, yeah. Anyway, while the episodes do a good job in foreshadowing Grogar's evil plan with Chrysalis, Cozy Glow, and Tirek; it also showcases what an imposing and entertaining villain King Sombra really is!"

Zoroark gave a wry smile and said, "Even though he was really lame in _The Crystal Empire._"

"Because he wasn't given a chance to do anything!" Keldeo explained, "But this time, he's finally able to showcase his powers of dark crystal magic, mind control, and fear on pretty much everyone! He's such a brilliant chessmaster! He actually lets himself get defeated just so he could find the Tree of Harmony and destroy it! Something neither Cozy Glow, Tirek, Chrysalis, or even _Discord _was able to do!"

Zoroark nodded and said, "Speaking of Discord, he was really entertaining and likeable here. Even the way he faked an injury at the end was in character and with good intentions. He even made an awesome heartfelt speech that not only motivated the Mane Six, but also proved that he really has learned a lot about friendship since his reformation."

Keldeo nodded, "That's right. We also get plenty of other characters, like Starswirl the Bearded showing up to help save the day. Spike also helped save the Crystal Empire AGAIN. We also get pretty cool fight scenes with familiar characters now under Sombra's mind control! Add in how the Mane Six refuses to give up and keep on fighting no matter what, digging their way out of Sombra's trap, fighting off the Everfree Forest, and charging Canterlot Castle. . . oh my gosh, THIS IS SO EPIC!"

"Also," Aiden chimed in, "These episodes finally fulfill Lauren Faust's original vision of Twilight becoming Celestia's successor."

"And also, EPIC!" Keldeo shouted excitedly.

Zoroark snickered and said, "Okay then, now it's the moment we've all been waiting for!"

Keldeo held up his right forehoof and said, "Hold it! We've got two final Honorable Mention firsts!"

**_Honorable Mentions. . ._**

**_Season 4, Episode 9: Pinkie Apple Pie_**

"Not much to say except this one is a cute road trip with the Apple Family, with Pinkie Pie being big hearted and supportive," Keldeo said.

"I really love that song!" Aiden said as he hopped about excitedly and with a smile, "Apples Forever!"

Zoroark snickered and said, "So much humor! Applebloom's Appleicious! The Scariest Cave in Equestria! Waterfall!"

Keldeo nodded and added, "Yeah, it's pretty good. The other episodes just managed to beat it out."

**_Season 9, Episode 7: She's All Yak_**

Zoroark blinked and said, "You don't ship Ocellus and Sandbar anymore?"

Keldeo put his hoof down. Then he grinned and said, "Well. . .I still like fanfics that put them together, but I also really think Sandbar and Yona are cute together. This episode does a _really_ good job in showing off the chemistry between them. Yona really admires Sandbar and wants to please him, while Sandbar is so giddy and happy about being with Yona and genuinely appreciates her for who she is. Matthais even wrote a fanfic based on this episode!"

**_True Yak's Kiss _**(TinyURL: wj2bz4o)

"Well, why wasn't this episode on the list?" Zoroark asked.

Keldeo shrugged and said, "I don't know. I guess I can't get into the way the Mane Six goes along with trying to change Yona so dramatically. Shouldn't _they _of all ponies know the importance of being yourself. I didn't like the song either."

Keldeo then returned to grinning again and said, "But! It's a Student Six episode, and Yona and Sandbar are so enjoyable to watch, so I just had to make it an honorable mention."

Zoroark looked more eager than ever as he leaned towards Keldeo slightly and said, "Now?"

Keldeo nodded slowly, and he said, "Now. . .Here we go. . ."

**_And the number one greatest episode of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is. . . . ._**

**_Season 2, Episode 14: The Last Roundup_**

"HUH?" Aiden said in confusion.

Zoroark cocked his head and said, "Yeah. . .why is this episode the best? I mean, it's a really good episode! Sure. But. . .why is it the _best_?"

Keldeo smiled simply and said, "Let me explain."

Keldeo took a breath, and then he began, "First off, let's talk about Derpy Hooves' big role. Yes, we all know about the issue with her name and voice. First off, the original voice _was wrong!_ The voice actor thought Derpy was a boy, so Derpy got a stupid sounding voice for a girl. This in combination with her name and her klutzy stupid mannerisms caused some people to get offended and demanded a chance. I am 100 percent sure that if Derpy had a proper female voice to begin with, there would never have been an issue to begin with. Sure, it stinks that her name got removed, but Derpy's scene is still there, she still has a voice, and even her name isn't mentioned we still know it's her. I don't care about the controversy. Derpy has a scene in this episode, her new _correct _voice is great, and I still love it!"

"Going back to the opening, seeing Applejack doing rodeo stuff to the music from _Bonanza _is really cool. We also get some foreshadowing when Applejack's hoof hits one of the obstacles. Then when Applejack refuses to come home, her friends literally drop everything and _immediately _run out to bring her home. That's really touching. We then meet Cherry Jubilee, who is a really warm and nice character who shows her kindness by taking Applejack in."

Keldeo then grinned widely and said, "Now we have the ultra super amazing comedy! First we get a reference to that iconic _I Love Lucy _scene. Then the show becomes self aware and genre savvy enough to use Pinkie Pie as a weapon of annoyance to get Applejack to spill the beans! Importantly, that scene is a perfect example of an annoying character annoying the other character but _not_ annoying the audience. Seeing Applejack go crazy with Pinkie's ranting about chimi cherry changas and pickle barrels while Rainbow Dash is wearing earplugs as she hold Pinkie like an annoyance ray is just too good! Speaking of Pinkie Pie-."

**_Pinkie Pie (Demonic Echo): _**"_YOU PINKIE PROMISED!"_

Keldeo burst out laughing and fell to the ground, kicking his legs as he laughed. "Oh my goooooosh!"

Zoroark chuckled along and said, "Yeah, I thought that was hilarious."

"I didn't," Aiden said softly.

Keldeo huffed and puffed as he got control of his laughter and caught his breath. He then shakily got up on his hooves and continued, "Then we have the final chase scene. It's perfect. It's got humor, clever dialogue, epic action, it's all just so good! We then end with a sweet character developing moment with Applejack as she learns the moral, plus a sweet moment between her and her friends. Add in a good ending with her family, and a funny gag between Rarity and Pinkie, and there you have it! The absolute greatest episode!"

Zoroark scratched his head and said, "Uh. . .I . . .Well. . .Do you really think it's perfect?"

"No way!" Keldeo said with a smile, "But that's the point! This episode _does_ have flaws. Applejack ditching her family seems like a stretch, Spike was nowhere to be found, and it was a jerk move for their friends to just abandon Pinkie and Rarity in the desert. And, of course, the Derpy controversy is an issue. But, again, that's the point! This episode seems to represent both the series and the fandom as a whole. It shows how flawed the characters can be while also showing how well their characterization and development is, it showcases good morals, it has references and meme worthy material, slapstick and clever dialogue, action, and contains a piece of Brony love _and_ Brony drama. That's why I love this episode so much. Maybe other episodes are technically better than this one. In fact, I'm pretty sure that given more time, the order of the episodes on this list could change. But the important thing we all need to understand is that _My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic _is an amazing show that truly did change the animation industry, and the world. It touched a lot of people and helped build countless relationships. This show truly was a blessing, and I'm positive that we all owe Lauren Faust a debt of gratitude for getting this show started."

Zoroark nodded and said with a grin, "You got that right!"

Aiden nodded his head excitedly and said, "Sure! Let's all thank her right now!"

The three Pokemon all turned and said with big smiles:

"**_Thank you so much for creating My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic, Lauren Faust. We'll be waiting for the Season 10 comics!"_**

* * *

**The End**


	12. 6- I Wish I Never Met You!-Pete the Rock

_**BOOOOOM!**_

There was a huge explosion caused by a Focus Blast from Keldeo.

_**THE SHOW MUST GO ON!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .**_

Keldeo activated his Secret Sword and swung it, causing a flash of light.

_**THE SHOW MUST GO ON!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .**_

Kyurem the Critic gave a genuine smile as he watched a slide show of highlights from his reviews.

Spike the Snob tipped his black top hat.

_**I'LL FACE IT WITH A GRIN!**_

"NO SHIP, SHERLOCK!" Intoxiquer the Crobat shouted in Genesect's face.

_**I'M NEVER GIVING IN!  
ON WITH THE SHOW!**_

Meloetta sat down with Madoka the Fennekin and Damian the Meloetta on either side of her.

Imperator Justinian shook Keldeo's forehoof.

_**THE SHOW MUST GO ON!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .**_

Arceus the Critic glared at Mew as she floated near a stone replica of him.

"SHUT UP!" shouted Anthony the Zoroark and Ian the Lucario.

_**THE SHOW MUST GO ON!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .**_

Ryu Taylor the ferret and bent water into a small stream and spun it around to slap each of the Mane Six in the face.

_**I'LL TOP THE BILL, I'LL OVERKILL!**_

Jack Storm sprung awake and jumped onto his feet, wearing his robes and ready for battle.

Matthais Unidostres and BrickBrony1894 bro-hoofed.

_**I HAVE TO FIND THE WILL TO CARRY ON!  
On. . . with the show. . .**_

_**On. . . with the show. . .**_

"FORESHADOWING!" Munna exclaimed.

"V-WHEEEEEEEL!" Victini exclaimed.

"MUSIC!" Floyd the Pichu shouted while holding his guitar high.

"RAAAAR!" Zoroark roared comically as his held his arms up and shook them.

_**SHOW!**_

Keldeo stood up on his hindlegs in his Resolute Form, his Secret Sword shining brightly.

_**The show must go on!**_

_**Go on. . . go on. . . go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .go on. . .**_

**Keldeo the Critic- Season Six**

**Episode 6: _I Wish I Never Met You! _by Pete the Rock**

"It's me! Keldeo the Critic! I review it so you don't have to!" Keldeo said pleasantly, then he hummed to himself for a moment before continuing, "You know, it feels like it's been a long time since I've sat down to take a stab at a Pokemon fanfic. I mean, it's just so weird! I guess it's because of all the other franchises I do, particularly _My Little Pony, _and of course there was that whole big three part send off I did to the series not to long ago."

Keldeo smiled warmly and said, "So, I guess it's about time I returned to my roots. What Pokemon fanfic am I gonna review this time?"

* * *

_**I Wish I Never Met You!**_

_By: Pete the Rock_

_Serena lashes at Ash after a loss to Jessie. What follows is a world she never meant to have._

_Rated: Fiction K+ - English - Spiritual/Hurt/Comfort - [Ash K./Satoshi, Serena] - Chapters: 4 - Words: 9,167 - Reviews: 20 - Favs: 50 - Follows: 47 - Updated: Feb 25, 2018 - Published: Jan 27, 2018 - Status: Complete - id: 12815959_

* * *

Keldeo fell flat and massaged his head with his forehooves. "Well, we're really in for it this time!" Keldeo shouted, "I know you probably wouldn't think of it just from this extremely short and vague story description, but there is so much _fundamentally _wrong with this story that I'm surprised it doesn't just fall apart and delete itself. It is _that flawed._"

Keldeo stopped rubbing his head and stood back up. Then he gave a nod and said, "Well, we all know how this works. Let's review _I Wish I Never Met You!_"

* * *

_Ash, Clemont, Serena, Bonnie and their Pokémon friends continued their journey through Kalos. The sun began to set near a lake in the woods. Everyone looked upbeat for what's ahead… but not Serena. She had a chance to earn one more key to compete in the Showcase Master Class. She lost the key to Jessie in the performance round by a slim margin. It wasn't the loss that's getting to her. 'Jessilee couldn't let her win be enough,' she growled._

* * *

_(Earlier in the day)_

_After the performance, Jessie met up with Serena who had smiles despite the loss. "One more key and the Master Class is mine," she touted. Serena turned, knowing the competition isn't over._

"_Congrats, Jessilee," she praised. "But I know I'll win the last key!" Jessie scoffed, shoving her performance key in her face._

"_So what? A twerpette like you doesn't know how to be a mature princess. You lack composure and dominance. Take it from me, there's nothing in you that has what it takes, neither does Aria!" She laughed while walking off. Serena began to growl. The insult never left her mind._

* * *

"Serena, why does this bother you so much? You lost by a slim margin, and you only need one more key! Why are you so threatened by, and let's be honest here, some random stupid person?!" Keldeo practically shouted, "Jessilee or Jessie or whatever obvious pseudonym you want to call her sounds like a complete idiot! She literally just said that she was better than Kalos Queen Aria because. . .she said so? Huh? You should be laughing at her for being so full of herself. Maybe if Serena was several keys behind it would make sense for her to be touchy about, but she's clearly found her rhythm and is doing good. Sure, Jessie is being annoying, but that's no reason for Serena to be as mad as she is right now."

Keldeo sighed and said with a smile, "So, Ash decides to go over and cheer Serena up, obviously leading to the point where Serena snaps at him. Ash is obviously going to say something really stupid that could easily be taken the wrong way in order to get this reaction from him. I mean, he _has_ to do that in order for this plot to happen. Only a complete fool of a writer would try to make this story happen without doing that, right?"

* * *

_"I'm helping with supper. Maybe a little extra sweetness for you. Could help you sleep easier." Jessie's words filtered out Ash's tips. Hoping to reach her, Ash palmed Serena's shoulder. "You've got more chances to become the Pokémon Princess. Don't let this get to your head." She began to snarl. A turkey fryer with too much water, her anger boiling over and spilling over her rim. She stood up. Ash assumed his words began to sink into Serena. "Alright… first step made. Now…" Without any warning, Serena swung an open hand and smashed it across Ash's face. The slap was so vicious, Ash took to the air for a second before landing face-first in the dirt. The echo of the slap sent flocks of Pidgey and Fletchling from their roosts. Clemont, Bonnie and the Pokémon gasped to the slap._

_"Ash!" they siblings gawked. Pikachu ran to Ash as he began to rise from the vicious slap, rubbing the wound. He turned to a seething Serena and what she shouted next altered the minds of everyone._

_"I HATE YOU!" she screamed. "I WISH I NEVER MET YOU, ASH KETCHUM!"_

* * *

". . .Hey, Pete the Rock?" Keldeo said calmly, "There's a little something you're not aware of here. You see, what you've either forget or never really noticed is that SERENA HAS A CRUSH ON ASH!"

Keldeo panted for a brief moment, but then swiftly continued, "THIS is what I was talking about earlier. This story doesn't work the way it's presented. Ash didn't do or say anything here to get Serena mad. If he had told her that it didn't matter, or maybe if he had gotten frustrated and told her to get over it, then maybe this could work. But that's not what he did! He chose his words very carefully! _Toadettegirl2012 _did this scenario properly in her story _Fall, _when Ash gets so flustered when Iris is broken up about the death of the Elder of the Village of Dragons that he stupidly and mistakenly remarks that it's okay because the Elder was old, which gets Iris angry enough to scream and slap him. But HERE, Serena has no reason to be angry at Ash because he didn't do or say _anything_!"

Keldeo huffed and puffed, then continued, "But, okay, let's give Pete a break. Maybe Serena was just so angry that anything could set her off. Sure, it's lame, but let's go with that. But then that gets ruined by the words Serena says. Why those exact words? Why _'I wish I never met you'_? I mean, they make no sense! It was Jessie that made her feel so terrible, so why would she specifically come up with something that deliberately targets Ash? He's an innocent by stander in all this! That's like loosing a fight in Smash Brothers Ultimate and sending hate comments to some random person on FimFiction! If Serena was just mad at the world, she would've just told her to leave her alone or to scram or shut-up or something like that. Even something like _'Never speak to me again' _would make more sense. And it's made even worse by the fact that Serena has a crush on Ash! I think she's the first female protagonist in the Anime to officially have actual cannon feelings for him. If anything, she should be clinging to him for comfort or something! Not slapping him and telling him. . ._that! _I mean, was it really _that _hard to make this scene logical? No, it isn't hard! It's easy! I could do better! Watch!"

_**Ash: **__"Serena, don't let this get to your head. It doesn't matter what Jessilee said."_

**_Serena: _**_"WHAT!? Of course it matters, Ash! I need to be perfect in order to be worthy of facing Aria! I can't afford to look worthless!"_

**_Ash:_**_ "You'll never be Kalos Queen with that attitude."_

**_Serena:_**_ "What did you say?"_

**_Ash:_**_ "I said you'll never be Kalos Queen-."_

**_Serena:_**_ "I WISH I NEVER MET YOU ASH KETCHUM!"_

"There! Doesn't that make more sense!"

Keldeo's eyes then widened as he stood completely still. "But you know what the really, _really _bad news is? This story only gets _worse_ from here on out. I know that's hard to believe, but it really is all downhill from here, and in the worst way possible! But then again, that's what happens when you build a house on a terrible foundation. The whole thing collapses. But it's not even because of the foundation! It's like all the rooms as so terribly awfully constructed-."

Keldeo suddenly stopped talking, and he breathed in and out as Aiden the Scorbunny ran in to ring a Soothe Bell in his ear.

"Okay. I'm good," Keldeo said, and he frowned, "Let's keep going."

"I'd stop if I were you," Aiden remarked.

"Well I'm not you," Keldeo shot back, "Anyway, so now the story is gonna focus on Serena rekindling her feelings for Ash while working through her anger, right?"

* * *

_Finding Ash's crushed expression, Serena's anger instantly subsided. She couldn't believe she hurt the boy who helped her years ago. She couldn't believe she shouted her newly-found hatred to him. She couldn't believe anything. She wanted to rescind her actions. "I'm sorry! I-I didn't mean- That can't be what I said! I-I don't know-" Ash dipped his head, tilting his cap to hide his distraught face. The bill failed to hide the tears streaking down his face. He stood and walked into the tent with Pikachu too stunned to know the occasion. Entering the tent, he closed himself from everyone, including his own Pokémon._

* * *

"Of course not!" Keldeo shouted, "Let's NOT have Serena learn any kind of lesson! Let's just treat her like a light switch! Ugh! The problem here is the phrase that she used. _'I wish I never met you' _is just too final and absolute. It should mean more. It should be the result of something bigger. Ash and Serena should have had an actual fight. Serena just saying it for no reason just seems too weird. Like it should've been some kind of Freudian Slip, but it can't be because Serena _does_ love Ash, so where did it even come from! It just makes no sense!"

Keldeo sighed and said, "So, yeah, now it's just Serena feeling guilty and Ash being depressed. Wow, great character development."

_**Portal 2 Announcer: **__"Sarcasm Self-Test Complete."_

"But wait!" Keldeo said, "It gets worse! After everyone goes to bed feeling miserable, the Zygarde Core that Bonnie befriended does _this_!"

* * *

_Serena and Bonnie fell asleep after a night full of surprise and anger. Serena snapped at Ash, yelling that she wished they never met. Squishy reached Serena's side and discovered her starting to sweat. The Zygarde core snuggled to Serena's head before it began to glow._

* * *

"_Man, when did the weather get cold? Better get Braixen to-" She dug in her pockets but they're empty. "Wait, what happened to Braixen? And where are my other Pokémon?!" She looked around for anything. She then found some of her friends she ran into several times. "Tierno, Trevor, Shauna!" The three don't turn to her voice, not able to pick up her cry. "Hey, I need help!" When she touched one, it faded and vanished. "What?" She turned to find Bonnie and Clemont. "Bonnie! Clemont! I need your-" One touch and they vanished. A Ryhorn nuzzled up to her, wanting to be ridden. "Where do you wanna go?" Ryhorn urged before Serena surrendered. "Okay, take me to see some people." After boarding, Ryhorn ran off. That's when she viewed other Ryhorn Racers. Suddenly, she figured her location. "Wait, I'm a Ryhorn Racer? What happened to my Pokémon?" As they ran, she saw Ash taking bites of PokéPuffs with Miette while Bonnie and Clemont watched._

"_Okay, if I liked these," he studied. "My Pokémon will as well." Miette clapped her hands together in enjoyment._

"_Really?!" she cooed. "Maybe I should make more. Listen, maybe when we're done in Kalos, we should get ourselves married. After all, you, you friends and your Pokémon like having me around."_

"_It's a little early, Miette… but I can't see myself making and enjoying PokéPuffs without you by me and Pikachu." The two began to kiss, their tongues dancing in each one's mouths. Serena scowled to seeing Ash with her Pokémon Performance rival._

"_The nerve of her moving on him!" she steamed. The racers soon disappeared. Ryhorn stopped in an area of black. Once she stepped off, the Rhino Pokémon left. "What's going on? Why am I seeing all of these things?" That's when a new voice entered._

"_Because you wished for this!" he replied. Serena's head jerked left, right, up and down for the voice._

"_Who's there?!" Before she could get an answer, the ribbon unfastened itself from her shirt. It stretched and then shaped itself. In a minute, the ribbon showed a figure she knew and became happy for. "Ash?!" She approached cautiously and reached out for him. That's when a voice rang out._

"_I HATE YOU!" sounded her from hours ago. "I WISH I NEVER MET YOU, ASH KETCHUM!" The voice of her yelling at Ash boomed and echoed through the area, even repeating the shout, forcing her hands to her ears._

"_Stop it! Stop yelling!" She turned to the ribbon as it lit on fire._

"_Because you wished for you to never meet, this becomes your life!" Serena panicked and reached to stop the fire on her ribbon. However, her hand phased through the fire. Her body was a ghost._

"_What!?" She reached again with the same result. That's when pictures of Ash emerged with her debilitating shout and his reaction. The shouts became louder and louder, the images kept emerging and the ribbon of Ash burnt to cinders and ash. Her words haunted her, and she could no longer bear it. "Stop! STOP IT!"_

* * *

"That's right. Zygarde literally _tortures _Serena with a nightmare in order to teach her a lesson she didn't even need to learn. . .Okay!" Keldeo said irately.

Keldeo huffed and said, "Oh boy, there is so much wrong here. First of all, Zygarde _cannot_ manipulate dreams! He's the Order Pokemon, not the Nightmare Pokemon! The reason Meowth, Pikachu, and Zygarde had that shared dream in **_XY098 : Dream a Little Dream from Me! _**was because Darkrai was nearby, and his powers interacted with Zygarde's powers. Zygarde can't just jump into to people's minds and mess around with their dreams like this! Second, like I already said, Serena already regrets snapping at Ash. She still cares about him and has feelings and fond memories about him, and she was clearly very guilty about what she did, so what's the point of this! Third, seeing as Serena doesn't need to learn a lesson, wouldn't it make more sense for Zygarde to pay ASH a visit! He got depressed and hid himself away in his tent! Shouldn't Zygarde use his made up dream powers to help Ash get over his depression and make up with Serena? And fourth, why is Zygarde being such a jerk to Serena here! Showing her how her life would be without Ash was one thing, but not only does Zygarde torture her with the image of Ash kissing another girl, but then he attacks her with fire?!"

Keldeo frowned and said, "And you know what, it would be bad enough if this story just had Serena wake up and beg Ash for forgiveness and things just work themselves out from there. At the very least it would be a tolerably bad story. . .buuuuuuuuuuuuut. . ."

Keldeo stomped his hooves and said, "It gets _worse! _Serena wakes up to find that Ash left, _without Pikachu, _and the group finds him just in time to get attacked by a random Usaring that does _this:_"

* * *

_Out of nowhere, a massive roar. Serena turned to the roar, finding an angry Ursaring. The Hibernate Pokémon stared down Serena, now in fear of what it might do. She screamed, hoping her shout would startle Ursaring. Ash heard the shout and turned, finding Ursaring starting to charge Hyper Beam._

_"Oh no… Serena!" He ran as fast as he could. He reached the one he's still upset at as the Hibernate Pokémon fired his attack. He shoved Serena away from the Hyper Beam without a second to spare. Serena fell to the ground but as turned in time to see Ash become engulfed in the attack. The Hyper Beam propelled Ash into a tree, chest first. He fell limp, Serena's face of dread emerged at seeing the boy unconscious._

_"AAAAASSSSSSHHHHHHHHH!" She got to her knees when Ursaring approached the trainer who couldn't move. His face burnt, his shirt scorched, blood and broken bones, Ash remained helpless on the ground._

* * *

"It's like, the author wanted more drama, so he was like, _'Instead of having some genuine and emotional scenes between our two leads so they can work out their problems in a touching way, __let's just physically handicap Ash in the most gruesome way possible even though he did nothing wrong in this story_!' Yeah, sure, why not? Clearly Pete the Rock is taking the Cave Johnson approach to writing fanfiction," Keldeo said angrily.

_**Cave Johnson: "**Science isn't about WHY. It's about WHY NOT. . .In fact, why not invent a special safety door that won't hit you on the butt on the way out, because you are fired. . . Yes, you. Fired. Box. Your stuff. Out the front door. Parking lot. Car. Goodbye."_

"So our heroes use their Pokemon to chase away the Usaring, who decides to carry Jessie off after breaking her Princess Key from some reason . . ."

Keldeo stared off into space as an image of Bewear popped up.

"Huh. Funny how that works."

The image disappeared, and Keldeo continued, "Anyway, Team Rocket, or I guess just Meowth and James, remains in character by deciding to help get Ash to the hospital using their hot air ballon. Seriously, Jessie is way too mean in this fanfic. What happened to the Jessie that always cried along with James and Meowth whenever Pikachu got beat up by a Raichu? Does Pete just not like Jessie? Is this some another one of those _A Different Kind of Princess _kind of things?"

* * *

_Serena heard her name and came to the doctor._

_"How's Ash? Is he…" The doctor nodded._

_"We've done all we can. Ash suffered all sorts of injuries, it's a miracle he's even alive." Serena began to wonder the extent of the injuries._

_"All from Ursaring's Hyper Beam?" The doctor gulped to the cause_

_"Is that how he got hurt? That would explain the catalog I have: skull fracture, three places; broken ribs, six places; fractured spine, two places; separated left shoulder blade; third-degree burns to his face, neck and arms…"_

* * *

"And Pete must hate Ash too! Is all that really necessary?" Keldeo exclaimed, "All we needed here is one major injury so Serena could nurse him back to health to repay him, but instead, Pete is like _'Ash is gonna die!'."_

Keldeo's right eye twitched, and he said, "But wait! _It gets worse! _Instead of it just being Serena, Bonnie, Clemont, and their Pokemon getting through their grief as a close knit group of friends, we pretty much get the entire cast of the XY Anime shoved into this story!"

* * *

_ Sycamore spun to the door, wanting to know of Ash's condition first hand. A van emerged by the front door of the hospital, reading "Lumiose Press." Alexa and Viola entered to see some of Ash's friends waiting in the Waiting Room. Sawyer, Tierno, Trevor, Shauna, Grace, Korrina and their Pokémon wondered to the condition of Ash._

* * *

"You can't have good emotional impact when you have this many characters!" Keldeo said in annoyance, "Oh, and this happens:"

* * *

_Bonnie sighed in relief as Sylveon kissed Ash's cheek, not touched by Ursaring's Hyper Beam. Bonnie gawked to Sylveon's intent._

_"Sylveon!" Serena's Pokémon barked to explain her reasoning._

_"I see… Sylveon's showing how much she cares for Ash." _

* * *

"And then all of other human and Pokemon girls in the group aside from Serena kiss him on the cheek. . . Okay," Keldeo said awkwardly.

Keldeo then sighed and said in resignation, "Okay, I should probably be a bit more fair. The scenes are kinda touching. Korrina mentions how Ash has a strong spirit that helped him survive the Hyper Beam, Shauna and Viola praise Ash from being an important part in their lives. . .Oh, and of course Serena's mother calls her out on how wrong she was. . .even though Serena already regretted it even before Ash got almost killed! Ugh, it's so hard to praise this story! The motivations here don't work! And since Ash is in a coma, there's pretty much no interaction or reaction or even a basic understanding of Ash's side of the story! Was he depressed because he had feelings for Serena, or was it just because an old friend had turned on him?"

"And what about Ash's other Pokemon? They're nowhere to be found in this story! You got Serena's Pokemon slobbering over him and giving him kisses, but what about Ash's team? Are they all just sitting in their Pokeballs in blissful ignorance? That's pathetic!"

* * *

_"Ash, I doubt you can hear me in your current state. When I lost to Jessilee, she insulted me and I let it get to my head. I know now that you were calming me down and that all I heard was Jessilee. I guess… if I didn't meet you, I probably wouldn't have met her… but then…" She sniffled in a sudden jolt of tears. She buried her face on his bed. "It's all my fault! I should've been the one to take the Hyper Beam! I deserve it more than you did! I shouldn't have yelled at you! I shouldn't have hit you in the face! I shouldn't have shut you out! I shouldn't have put you in harm's way! I'm sorry!" She cried for a minute. She admitted, knowing full-well that Ash wouldn't respond. "I wish I never said that! I wish I never said that I never met you!" She peered to Ash's face. "I wish I could take back what I said! In fact… I wish you'd be awake for me to say that I love you!" She came to his face and gave his lips a warm and tender kiss. She held it, tears falling onto Ash's face and kept the tenderness pressed for a minute. As she lifted, all she could do was pray. Would Ash pull through or would his fight for survival falter?_

* * *

"I feel like a jerk right now," Keldeo said sourly, "I mean, Ash is critically injured and Serena is heartbroken. I should be feeling some really strong emotions right now. Ash is a very important friends of mine! But I can't bring myself to care about anything that happens here because of how rushed, half-done, and _shallow_ all this drama is. This is all because Serena shouted something completely out of left field and Ash didn't even stop to consider that _maybe_ Serena wasn't in her right mind when she said it. I mean, Serena apologized _right after she said it. _Wouldn't that be a clue?"

Keldeo then ground his teeth, and he said fiercely, "And you know what? Believe it or not. . .It. Gets. Even. WORSE! LOOK!"

* * *

_The next morning in Pallet Town in the Kanto region, Delia had brewed a cup of tea before making her way to the living room and turning on the TV. Turning it on, she found a news story from "Lumiose Now" with Alexa on the screen. "Alexa?" she noticed before sipping on tea._

_"Ash Ketchum, a Pokémon Trainer from Pallet Town in Kanto, remains in critical but stable condition after he was hit by an Ursaring's Hyper Beam attack," she reported with tears draining down her face. Delia and Mimey gawked to the news, the former having the cup of tea slip through her fingers and crash the floor, pieces of ceramic clay scattering like glass. Alexa continued her report as Mimey rushed to get a broom and dustpan to remove the broken cup._

* * *

"A news report. . ." Keldeo said softly, "A news report? You had to find out that your son was almost killed and put into a coma. . .FROM A NEWS REPORT!?"

Keldeo turned into his Resolute Form and shouted, "No one thought to let Ash's family know what happened to him? Oh, sure, Serena call her own mother so she can be comforted, but no one calls Ash's mom? BISCUITS! What the hay is wrong with this hospital!? What if Ash died? Would they call his mother then? Or maybe they'd just send her a postcard?"

_Dear Mrs. Ketchum_

_I think your son died or something. Yeah, pretty sure he's dead. Not sure when it happened. Maybe yesterday? Last week? Whatever. Just wanna let you know he's dead. Okay? We good? Okay then. Byeeeeeeee!_

_-Some doctor guy_

"What in Zacian's name was Pete the Rock thinking!?" Keldeo shouted.

Keldeo's eyes then widened in realization, and he turned back into his Normal Form and said, "Oh, wait, I know exactly what he was thinking. He wanted another lazy dramatic scene where she dramatically drops the cup dramatically and it dramatically shatters dramatically for dramatic effect. Of course. Why not? The Cave Johnson approach yet again."

Keldeo sighed and said, "And you know what? What follows is pretty much the most derivative, predictable stuff you'd expect to see in a story like this. After two weeks, Ash finally wakes up, Serena apologizes and- _the romance happens off screen?!_"

* * *

_"I should've come clean sooner. Since seeing you risk your life to stop Garchomp and save Pikachu. I've always wanted to thank you for those years ago. You may not be aware of it like I do when you helped me back to camp after I injured my knee. You've also helped me find my path as a performer and met with some great Pokémon." Her admission brought a smile to Ash's face. Delia, Grace, Pikachu and Mimey came to Ash's room to excuse Serena and let them have a turn with Ash._

_"I don't know if my apologies will make up for Serena's nonsensical outburst to your boy," Grace mulled._

_"Knowing that he protected your daughter, I would've expected nothing less from him," Delia hummed. "I mean… that's my Ash." They found Ash's room and soon found Serena and Ash locked lips. _

* * *

"I didn't cut anything out!" Keldeo cried out in shock, "Serena is praising Ash, we switch to their mothers and Pokemon, then we see Ash and Serena kissing! We never even see them say that they love each other!"

Keldeo groaned and he stuck his head in the shallow water around the rock platform he was standing in. Then he shook the water out of his mane and said, "Ugh. It's not just the foundation that's poorly built. It's everything! Then on top of that we get a bunch of _'give us some grand kids' _jokes from their mothers, some hasty words from the group, a bunch of interesting but still hastily written scene of Ash in physical therapy, _which really should have been their own full chapter!_ Seriously, if this story went in detail about how Ash slowly recovered over time, with Serena and all the Pokemon supporting him, it might be enough to make this story good. But nope, instead we get ONE paragraph plus a couple of sentences that remind me of that lazy bit of exposition text from the beginning of _Sonic Forces!_"

* * *

_"Sure!" In a few days, Ash began his rehabilitation. He began with his strength as he lifted a small dumbbell with two arms, then one arm. He also redeveloped his throwing strength, first with a paper ball. Before long, he graduated to a stress ball, then a baseball. Not only did he regain strength, but his accuracy as well. Even Pikachu watched in awe about his throwing prowess reborn. His ability to move almost redeveloped too quickly. He started off with a walker before using the parallel bars. Each step, he felt pain in his back. Regardless, he had to move. His feet started wide but soon was one foot in front of the other. In a week, Ash tried to walk without support. Serena caught him as soon as he lost balance lifting one foot off the ground._

* * *

_**Brian Regan: **"'__One thing led to another.' What kind of lazy writing is that? Isn't it your job as a writer to tell me how that made this happen?"_

"But WAIT!" Keldeo shouted, his eyes blazing fiercely, "IT! GETS! EVEN! WORSE!"

* * *

_(Months Later, Hau'oli Beach, Melemele Island, Alola Region)_

_As if their kiss looked like it's been there for a long time, Ash and Serena never broke away from the attached faces. Ash spent a month in the hospital recovering from the Hyper Beam from Ursaring. Completely healed, he and Serena made it official that they're dating. Serena won Showcase but lost to her idol, Queen Aria. Ash competed in the Pokémon League and became the champion. Serena decided to join Ash on her adventures than go to the Hoenn region where more showcases were held. Their kiss on the beach with Ash wearing blue swimming trunks and Serena wearing a white swimsuit left some other trainers watching in awe and some jealousy._

* * *

"I can't believe this! All those events, just glossed over! Oh, and no mention of Lysandre and Team Flare, even though Zygarde was in the story. . .but then disappeared after he tormented Serena."

Keldeo frowned and said, "Gosh! It's almost like Pete the Rock totally forget that Zygarde was in this story! But nooooooo, it can't be! He was too busy _forgetting_ to have Ash show any romantic feelings towards Serena! Yes, he's sad after being yelled at, but it's not like he's heartbroken. He's just. . .feels sorry for himself. Then he gets Hyperbeamed in the face and weakly apologizes when he wakes up. This has got to be the laziest romance ever!"

* * *

_"They're happy indeed, Lillie," the green-haired agreed. "Though, it does leave me a little upset."_

_"Me, too, Mallow," the blue-haired murmured. "Don't you think so, Lillie?" The blond, Lillie, nodded._

_"We never had a chance to go for Ash, Lana. Still, we're happy to see the two in this." Just then, two boys came in. One had dark skin with red and raven hair sticking up like a flame while wearing red shorts. The other was a round orange-haired boy in a white shirt and black shorts._

_"That's nothing compared to Misty and Brock's reaction in Pallet Town," the orange-haired brought up. "Brock couldn't believe Ash got a girl first and Misty just lost it with a priceless face." Lillie and Mallow chuckled, as did the sea lion and the humanoid creature._

_"Anyway, how long have they been like this?" the dark-skinned teen wondered._

_"I… actually lost track of time, Kiawe," Mallow admitted. The rodent became giddy before rolling like a wheel to Pikachu. "Togedemaru?"_

_"What's she doing?" the orange-haired wondered. Togedemaru reached Pikachu and tackled him. Now face-to-face, Togedemaru kissed Pikachu like Serena's lips to Ash's. Pikachu gawked to the kiss but laughed afterward._

_"Well, Sophocles… I think Togedemaru wants to act like the two." Ash and Serena broke to see Togedemaru and Pikachu kiss._

_"Guess we're not the only lovebirds around here," Serena teased._

* * *

Keldeo stared with wide eyes, then he said, "I stand corrected, _that_ was the laziest romance ever. I mean. . .is this even a thing? Togedemaru and Pikachu?"

Keldeo just shook his head and said, "Whatever, I'm done. Look, it might _seem_ like I'm being harsh, but you need to understand something. The worst type of story in my book is a story that wastes potential and just makes things happen without giving a reason. Here we had a story that could've combined aspects of a basic break-up plot, a Wonderful Life type plot, a caring for a sick/injured crush plot, and a physical therapy recovery plot. This could've been awesome! We could've explored all these avenues in heart touching detail! But Pete the Rock squandered it! Instead we got a story centered around a random event that tortures one character, vilifies another character, and harms another character while barely treating him like a character at all. Ash wasn't a character here, he was an object. A prize. And that just stinks!"

Keldeo gave a resolute nod and said as he left, "I'm Keldeo the Critic and I review it so you don't have to!"

* * *

**The End**

* * *

_**Credits**_

_Sonic Forces_

_Portal 2_

_Bulbapedia_

_Fall _by Toadettegirl2012

_A Different Kind of Princess _by Toadettegirl2012

* * *

Hi! Matthais Unidostres here. I just want to take a moment to address the current situation the world is facing. I'm sure many of you are stuck in your houses and unable to go out due to the pandemic. Don't lose heart. If we maintain social distancing and follow the CDC's guidelines, I'm sure we can limit the amount of infections and casualties and come out of this situation shaken but still standing. Let us all keep the victims of this problem in our thoughts and prayers as we keep ourselves save until it's over. It also wouldn't hurt to keep our spirits up with the various media and technology available to us!

In other news, Keldeo and I have a big new project up ahead for you all. Here's a sneak peak to get you all excited!

* * *

Roxie, leader of the rock band Koffing and the Toxics in the Unova Region,silently walked over to where she had left her guitar leaning against the wall. Roxie picked up her guitar, and then strummed it several times.

Images of Lt. Surge, Team Yell, explosions on a battle field, a door being knocked in, and a Nintendo Switch flashed in and out of existence as Roxie played.

She riffed off hard on her guitar, and then she started singing out.

_So ya_

_Thought ya_

_Might like to watch Doug Walker's review_

_._

_To have_

_The cliffnotes version of_

_The Wall fed to you_

_._

_But something clearly eluded Doug, Sunshine_

_Was it not what he expected to see?_

_._

_If you want to find out what's behind Walker's lies_

_Just throw out his parody that we all despise_

_._

More images flashed in and out as Roxie passionately played her guitar, until she finally came to a dramatic finish, putting extra strength into the final note.

Keldeo the Critic- Season Six

Editorial 4- Pink Floyd's The Wall


	13. 7- Editorial 4- The Wall - Part 1

_BOOOOOM!_

There was a huge explosion caused by a Focus Blast from Keldeo.

_THE SHOW MUST GO ON!_

_Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . ._

Keldeo activated his Secret Sword and swung it, causing a flash of light.

_THE SHOW MUST GO ON!_

_Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . ._

Kyurem the Critic gave a genuine smile as he watched a slide show of highlights from his reviews.

Spike the Snob tipped his black top hat.

_I'LL FACE IT WITH A GRIN!_

"NO SHIP, SHERLOCK!" Intoxiquer the Crobat shouted in Genesect's face.

_I'M NEVER GIVING IN!_

_ON WITH THE SHOW!_

Meloetta sat down with Madoka the Fennekin and Damian the Meloetta on either side of her.

Imperator Justinian shook Keldeo's forehoof.

_THE SHOW MUST GO ON!_

_Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . ._

Arceus the Critic glared at Mew as she floated near a stone replica of him.

"SHUT UP!" shouted Anthony the Zoroark and Ian the Lucario.

_THE SHOW MUST GO ON!_

_Go on. . . go on. . .go on. . ._

Ryu Taylor the ferret and bent water into a small stream and spun it around to slap each of the Mane Six in the face.

_I'LL TOP THE BILL, I'LL OVERKILL!_

Jack Storm sprung awake and jumped onto his feet, wearing his robes and ready for battle.

Matthais Unidostres and BrickBrony1894 bro-hoofed.

_I HAVE TO FIND THE WILL TO CARRY ON!_

_On. . . with the show. . ._

_On. . . with the show. . ._

"FORESHADOWING!" Munna exclaimed.

"V-WHEEEEEEEL!" Victini exclaimed.

"MUSIC!" Floyd the Pichu shouted while holding his guitar high.

"RAAAAR!" Zoroark roared comically as his held his arms up and shook them.

_SHOW!_

Keldeo stood up on his hindlegs in his Resolute Form, his Secret Sword shining brightly.

_The show must go on!_

_Go on. . . go on. . . go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .go on. . ._

* * *

_**Keldeo the Critic- Season Six**_

_**Episode 7: Editorial 4- Pink Floyd's The Wall**_

_"It's me! Keldeo the Critic! I review it so you don't have to!" Keldeo said with a smile, then he sighed and said, "Most people already know about all the bad stuff Doug Walker, a.k.a,The Nostalgia Critic has done. But I'm not gonna talk about it here. If you want the details, do your own research. But anyway, his previous actions only made it worse when he did a review of _Pink Floyd's The Wall._"_

_Keldeo huffed and breathed out heavily through his nose, then he said, "Now, this isn't the first time I've talked about _Pink Floyd's The Wall _on this show. Back in Season Five, I parodied some of its songs during my review of _The Shiny by Pokemon45. _I also took a moment to explain my feelings on the film, and I went as far as to tell you to __**NOT **__watch it due to it's obscene, violent, disturbing, and overall inappropriate imagery, and I still stand by that decision. _**DO NOT WATCH THAT FILM!**_"_

_Keldeo paused for a moment to clear his throat. Then he said, "The album it's based on, however, is a different story. You see, both the album and the film its based on tell the story of a musician who got abused by his teachers as a child after his father died in World War II. Then the woman he loved cheated on him, he becomes addicted to drugs, and he kept getting forced to perform against his will, and everything got so bad that he isolated himself behind a metaphorical wall around himself. This only makes things worse, and he starts going crazy and starts having halluciantions of being a Neo Nazi. However, he finally ends up seeing the error of his ways, tears down the wall, and goes on to try to face the world again."_

_Keldeo nodded excitedly and said, "That's a really good story! Sure, the songs that represent his Neo Nazi hallucinations need to be listened to in context, but all in all, it's a really good story on how people with depression can have a downward spiral and isolate themselves, which only causes their situation to get worse. All people need sympathy and companionship, and sometimes people do bad things not because they're bad, but because no one ever bothered to help them or be loyal to them."_

_"The music, the music, Keldeo!" Floyd the Pichu said as he walked over while tuning his guitar._

_Keldeo smiled and said, "And yes, the fact that the music is awesome sure helps a lot. _Another Brick in the Wall, Hey You, _and _Comfortably Numb _are very famous, and the rest of the songs are well composed as well."_

_Keldeo sighed and said, "It's just a shame that the film has so many disgusting and disturbing images that prevent most people from enjoying the story."_

_Floyd the Pichu's eyes widened and he said, "You agree with the Nostalgia Critic!?"_

_Keldeo laughed hollowly and said, "Ha! Are you kidding! Not only did Doug Walker barely say anything about the obscene imagery, in fact I think he kinda __**liked **__them, but he spent most of the time ignoring the plot and accusing the main character of being a millionaire whiner that has no right to be depressed! Seriously? How did Doug not understand the story being told here? All he had to do was look at Wikipedia, not that anyone with eyes, ears, and a brain would need to. The story is so obvious! Come on!"_

_Floyd sighed in relief and said, "Whew! Good. I wouldn't want this episode to be attacked with hate comments."_

_Keldeo nodded and said, "Yeah. The Nostalgia Critic's review of _Pink Floyd's The Wall _was hated by everyone. Not only did people leave angry comments, but there must be hundreds of response videos of people ranting and hating the review. In fact, this editorial right here is one of them, in a way."_

_Keldeo then perked up and said, "But, this one is different. I'm not just gonna sit here and complain about Doug Walker's review! Oh no, I'm actually gonna put my money where my mouth is and do a little analysis of my own. Not of the movie, because it's horrible to look at. But of the album and the story it tells. You ready for this, Floyd?"_

_Floyd smiled and said, "Oh, I was _born _ready for this!"_

_Keldeo grinned, nodded, and said, "Well, then, get ready, because this is_

* * *

Roxie, leader of the rock band _Koffing and the Toxics _in the Unova Region, blinked in surprise as her laptop screen suddenly went dark as she sat in her room. She groaned when she saw that she had neglected to plug in her laptop, leading to a drained battery. This was particularly annoying, because she had been interested in reading Keldeo the Critic's analysis of the album by Pink Floyd.

After plugging her laptop back in so it could charge up, Roxie sat for a moment, just thinking. Then, she made the decision and pulled out her smartphone. It didn't take long for her to buy and download Pink Floyd's _The Wall _onto her phone. Then, she plugged in a pair of earphones, put them in her ears, and tapped the play button.

* * *

Around 1 hour and 16 minutes later, Roxie found herself sitting in her chair with her mouth hanging open slightly, utterly floored by what she had just heard. She slowly pulled the earbuds out of her ears, and then she got up from the chair. She then silently walked over to where she had left her guitar leaning against the wall.

Roxie picked up her guitar, and then strummed it.

Images of Team Plasma grunts storming Opelucid City were spliced amidst scenes of Lt. Surge leading a squad of armed soldiers into a warzone.

Roxie riffed hard on the guitar, emphasizing every note.

Images of brick walls being blown up and walls of ice shattering flashed by.

Roxie looked up from her guitar and sang out:

_So ya_

_Thought ya_

_Might like to watch Doug Walker's review_

_To have_

_The cliffnotes version of_

_The Wall fed to you_

_But something clearly eluded Doug, sunshine_

_Was it not what he expected to see?_

_If you want to find out what's behind Walker's lies_

_Just throw out his parody that we all despise_

Roxie riffed on her guitar a bit more as scenes of Team Plasma abusing Pokemon flowed into scenes of Ly. Surge's soldiers exchanging fire with the enemy. Then, with one final note, everything went black.

* * *

"You're such a great ship captain dad!"

"Certainly! And I'm sure that you'll be a great musician, dear daughter. And a good Pokemon Trainer too!"

"Oh. . .um, I'm not sure if I can do both. . . That could cause problems, right?"

"Nonsense! In fact, I dream of being a ship captain _and _a movie star!"

"Ha-ha, yeah right. That's totally impossible. No one can do two crazily different things at once, right?"

"Hm. . .we'll see, Roxie. Now, you go ahead and practice."

Pop Roxie left the room, leaving the younger past Roxie alone in her room with her guitar. She took a deep breath, closed her eyes, and began to play a slightly slow tune. However, the music still had emotion within it.

_Pop loves her Roxie_

_And Roxie loves him too_

_And the future looks bright to us usually_

_And the sky may look blue_

_Ooh baby_

_Ooh baby blue_

_Ooh babe_

Kid!Roxie opened her eyes and sung a bit more seriously.

_But bad things do happen_

_I'm afraid that's just life_

_Like how Pink's father died in World War II_

_Sad enough to make you cry_

_Or maybe you're told you can do two things at once_

_And you decide to believe it_

_But when something bad happens and you feel lost_

_Your emotions for a song like this:_

_Pink Floyd's- The Thin Ice_

Kid!Roxie played aggressively, her frustration and pain evident in the music as the scene began to transition into a new one.

* * *

Roxie, now 10 years old, frowned at the Snivy in front of her. The starter she had picked clearly hated her, and refused to acknowledge her commands or even look at her. Right now, the Snivy had its arms folded as it stood with its back to her.

10 year old Roxie sighed and began to play a very familiar melody on her guitar. Then she began to sing.

_A crushing blow in life has happened_

_Made a painful memory_

_The first strike here in this album_

_Snivy, why don't you like me?_

_Snivy! _

_Why don't ya like me?_

_Every bad thing becomes a brick in the wall_

_Bad things are metaphorically bricks in the wall_

"ROXIE!"

10 year old Roxie was suddenly sitting in school, and glaring down at her was Pokemon Evaluator Burgundy, dressed up as a school teacher. The students around her were played by the kids at the Alolan Pokemon School from _Sun and Moon._

Burgundy snatched a piece of paper on little Roxie's desk and said with a sneer, "Horrible! Simply HORRIBLE! What is this? A song you've been writing? You fancy yourself a musician? HA! These lyrics are horrible! You're a failure, and you always will be!"

10 year old Roxie frowned and said, "So. . .you're just an evil teacher that hates kids?"

Burgundy looked horrified by this, and she immediately back pedaled and said, "Oh, No no no no no! Of course not! I'm not just some stereotypical caricature of a mean adult authority figure!"

Burgundy frowned, "As opposed to what _Doug Walker _would tell you."

She then smiled and continued, "I'm a well developed character with reasons for my actions, believe me! Just listen to my backstory!"

Burgundy slapped the paper back on little Roxie's desk as music began to play in the background to accompany her. Burgundy did dramatic poses as she sung her tragic backstory.

_You! Yes, you! Stand still lady!_

_When I come to work at this school_

_I am always the bad teacher who would_

_Hurt you children any way I could_

_By pouring my derision_

_Upon anything you did_

_Exposing every weakness_

_However carefully hidden by the kids_

_But in the town it is well known_

_That I'm having severe marriage troubles_

_My psychopathic spouse would thrash me_

_Within inches of my life!_

As Burgundy held a pose with a hand dramatically covering her face, Roxie blinked at her and said, "So. . .just because you're stuck in a bad marriage. . .that makes it okay to abuse your students?"

Burgundy fell to the ground Anime style, but then jumped up and shouted, "No, no! You're missing the point! Of course it doesn't make it _okay_! I'm just saying that's _why_ I'm abusing you! It's my _reasoning._ My _excuse. _And it's an important part of the theme of _The Wall_! When someone is in pain, they end up taking out their pain on others!"

Burgundy then turned to the screen and said, "Remember that! It's important! It's gonna come up again later!"

Floyd the Pichu suddenly leaned into the shot and said impatiently, "Can we please just hurry up and get to the most quoted and beloved Pink Floyd song ever! I wanna play it already!"

Burgundy rolled her eyes and said, "Alright, alright. Go ahead."

"YES!" Floyd the Pichu said with a smile, and he began playing the familiar tune again on his own guitar, grinning as he sang the song.

_We don't need no education!_

_We don't need no thought control!_

_Post World War II Britain was bad_

_War made the school system stink_

_Hey! Teachers! Leave them kids alone!_

_All in all it's just another brick in the wall_

_All in all you're just another brick in the wall_

As Floyd played the music, 10 year old Roxie stood up and began to sing along with the rest of the students. Lana's Primarina even came out of its Pokemon to sing along as well.

_It's not about victimization!_

_It's not just saying high school sucks!_

_Childhood trauma isn't whining!_

_This is a key point to the plot!_

Sophocles, Lana, Lillie, Kiawe, and Mallow all turned and pointed as they sang out in an accusatory manner.

_Hey! Walker! Leave __**The Wall **__alone!_

_All of your bashing doesn't mean much at all!_

_It's obvious that you really don't care at all!_

Suddenly, Team Plasma grunts burst in and seized the everyone but Roxie and Burgundy. They grunts dragged them out kicking, screaming, and protesting. The five students, and Primarina, were thrown into a train that had somehow materialized outside the Pokemon School. The train was about to depart as the group desperately reached out of the windows and cried for help, when suddenly Sophocles paused and spoke up.

"Uh, yeah, I'm sorry, but isn't it kinda. . .not right to compare being mistreated by a school teacher to being thrown into a Nazi concentration camp?" the Electric-Type trainer remarked.

Kiawe the interjected, "I'm pretty sure the actual comparison used was being thrown into a meat grinder."

"Yeah, Roger Waters made that comparison _too_," Sophocles said, "But I didn't understand the meat grinder one."

Lillie raised her hand and said, "Oh, that was referring to how in post World War II Britain, the educational system was so harsh that it forced the children to all conform to the system because of all the bullying, abuse, and beatings the teachers inflicted on them."

Everyone stared at the girl in shock.

". . .What? My mother is Lusamine," Lillie said nonchalantly with a shrug.

Mallow blinked and said nervously, "So. . wait, are you Sun and Moon _Anime_ Lillie, Sun and Moon _Game_ Lillie, or _Ultra_ Sun and _Ultra_ Moon _Game_ Lillie?"

"Can we please address the concentration camp thing first!?" Sophocles shouted.

Lana's Primarina face palmed with a flipper and shouted, "Oh, you humans are hopeless! It's not saying the two things are the same!"

Lana frowned and said, "Well, that's what it looks and sounds like to me."

Suddenly, Sandy the Eevee popped out of his Pokeball and stood next to Primarina as he shouted out, "No No NO! What the music is saying that World War II and the horrible teachers were both things that made Pink's life miserable! The Nazis killed his dad, and the teachers ruined his childhood! They were both bricks in the wall he built to isolate himself!"

Primarina nodded and said, "Hence the title: _Another Brick in the Wall._"

Sandy then added, "It's like if I wrote an album, and had one song about being chased about being lost at sea and another song about being chased by that Alolan Persian. They're not the same things, they're just two things that happened to me."

Primarina smiled proudly at Sandy and continued, "Or if I wrote one song about fighting Team Rocket as a Popplio, and then another about getting almost killed by Guzma's Golizopod. Obviously one is way worse than the other, but they're both events in the story of my life that had an impact."

Sandy pouted and said, "So stop saying that Roger Waters is comparing World War II to high school, because he wasn't. All he was saying was that those were two key events that were REALLY important in Pink's life!"

Primarina smiled and raised a flipper. "Great analysis, Sandy! Up high!"

Sandy jumped up and swung his tail against Primarina's flipper.

Burgundy suddenly ran over and shouted, _"Wrong, do it again! Wrong, do it again!"_

Sandy and Primarina stared at the purple haired woman, then turned to each other and shrugged as the train started to move and quickly took off. However, Burgundy ran after the train, shouting after the passengers.

_"If you don't eat yer berries, you can't have any Poke Puffs!_

_How can you have any Poke Puffs if you don't eat yer berries?"_

_"You!" _a voice suddenly shouted.

Burgundy froze in her tracks, and she turned to see Keldeo in his Resolute Form with his Secret Sword powered up.

"_Yes, you behind the bike sheds, stand still, lady!" _Keldeo shouted out harshly as he pointed with his right forehoof.

Burgundy gulped and nervously obeyed Keldeo's order.

Keldeo put his hoof down and sighed, "I suppose this is a good enough time for a break. I'm sorry, but that F - Class Pokemon Connoisseur has _a lot_ to answer for."

* * *

_**We'll be right back!**_


	14. IMPORTANT MESSAGE

Here are some important things I should make clear here:

1.) I am thatdragonwiththetophatcom. We were ALWAYS the same person. I just thought it would be fun to make kind of an alter ego kinda thing with _Spike the Snob, _epilogues to CGI short films of note, and experimental comedies like _PokeBeat. _However, _Spike the Snob _got stale and wasn't as fun as _Keldeo the Critic, _and I was no longer afraid to put the more experimental comedies on my main account.

2.) NOBODY seemed to care about PokeBeat on deviantart or on thatdragonwiththetophatcom! This is upsetting because I wanted more people to comment and react to them. Plus, I've gotten more ideas recently and I want people to see those. So, I've decided to publish that series on my main account so that my current followers can be reintroduced to them.

3.) I HAVE FINALLY REGAINED ACCESS to my thatdragonwiththetophatcom account. I am NOT going to delete that account, but I will transfer almost everything on it to Matthais Unidostres. The only stories that I won't delete will be _Spike the Snob _and _The Absol Danseuse. _HOWEVER, I will move a copy of _The Absol Danseuse _over here, if only because more readers should be able to experience it.

Thank you for your time, and I hope my failed alter ego gimmick hasn't upset anyone or turned anyone off to my work. It was a silly idea and I hope you will continue to enjoy my fanfiction.


	15. 7- Editorial 4- The Wall - Part 2

_The show must go on!_

_Go on. . . go on. . . go on. . . go on. . .go on. . .go on. . ._

* * *

_**Keldeo the Critic- Season Six**_

_**Episode 7: Editorial 4- Pink Floyd's The Wall**_

10 year old Roxie came home from school, sighing as she approached her starter Pokemon. The Snivy still stood with its back to her.

Roxie thought for a moment, then she smiled and said, "Maybe. . . if I forced Snivy to be as close to me as possible, she'll come around. . .yeah!"

Roxie picked up her guitar and stepped over to Snivy. She sat real close to the Grass-type starter as she began playing a slow, mellow melody, smiling a wide and slightly creepy smile as she did so. Snivy scowled as it began to sing bitterly along with the music.

_(_Trainer,_ do you think I'll learn Seed Bomb?_

_Trainer, do you think I even like this song?_

_Trainer, do you think I like being in that Ball?_

_Ooh, ah_

_Pink's mother made him build the wall_

_Pink's mother just stunted and coddled him_

_Pink's mother was clearly another brick_

_Pink's mother helped damage his mind_

_Ooh ah,_

_Walker thought it was a waste of time.)_

10 year old Roxie, oblivious to what Snivy was singing, simply leaned in uncomfortably close and started singing herself.

"Hush now Snivy, Snivy, don't you cry.  
I'm gonna make our rivals' nightmares come true.  
I'm gonna put all her fears into you.  
I'm gonna Hyper Train you and everything  
You take care of the battles, just let me sing.  
I'm gonna keep Snivy busy and strong.

Ooh Snivy,

Ooh Snivy,

Ooh Snivy,  
Of course Roxie's gonna help build the wall."

Snivy looked even more irritated by this, and then took another turn singing.

_(Trainer, do you think you're good enough,_

_For me?_

_Trainer, do you think you're compatible,_

_To me?_

_Trainer, I will tear your little heart apart._

_Ooh ah,_

_Trainer, I will break your heart.)_

Again, 10 year old Roxie ignored Snivy again and sang her own verse.

"Hush now Snivy, Snivy don't you cry.  
I'm gonna pick out all your partners for you.  
I won't let anyone to weak get through.  
I'm gonna train you up until my team wins  
I just don't really care where you've been.  
I'm gonna keep Snivy lean and mean.

Ooh Snivy,

Ooh Snivy,

Ooh Snivy,  
You'll always belong to me."

Snivy just rolled her eyes and huffed.

_(Trainer, your wall's gonna be so high.)_

At that moment, Roxie looked out at the window and pointed, "Look, Snivy! There's an airplane up in the sky!"

Slower, droning music played as the pair looked out of the window up in the sky.

Snivy nodded and said, _"Yeah. It reminds of the planes that dropped bombs in the war that Lt. Surge talked about."_

Haunting voices began to sing along with the somber music.

_Ooh-ooh, ooooh-ooooh-ooh-ooh!_

_Ooh-ooh, ooooh-ooooh-ooh-ooh!_

_Ooh-ooh, ooooh-ooooh-ooh-ooh!_  
_D-d-d-did you see all of the fallen ones?_  
_D-d-d-did you know of the Nazi Blitz bombs?_  
_D-d-d-did you ever wonder how Doug Walker couldn't care about the bombings_  
_That devastated Britain during World War II as shown during **Goodbye Blue Sky**?_

Roxie and Snivy both lowered their heads to show respect for the countless people who lost their lives during World War II.

_Ooh-ooh, ooooh-ooooh-ooh-ooh!_

_Ooh-ooh, ooooh-ooooh-ooh-ooh!_

_D-d-d-did you see how little Walker cares?_  
_D-d-d-did the message not get past his ears?_  
_The song was about one of Pink's darkest fears_

_Goodbye, blue sky_

_Goodbye, blue sky_

_Goodbye_

_Goodbye_

* * *

_**The eleven fifteen to Kanto is about to depart**_  
_**The eleven eighteen arrival. . .**_

The announcement jarred 11 year old Roxie out of her daydreaming, and she smiled and said, "Alright . . .next stop: Kanto! I'm gonna tour there, and become a famous rock star!"

Roxie boarded the plane and quickly found her seat. As the sound of the plane's engines gave way to a musical beat, Roxie mused to herself, "You know, even when things seem to be going okay, people can still relapse into depression. For instance, Pink finally got married and is going on tour in America, but he's still unhappy about his past and is still thinking about building a wall around himself."

Roxie frowned and said, "Kind of like how I'm kinda down about Snivy, and my dad wanting to be a ship captain and a movie star at once. . ."

Roxie sighed and started singing.

"Me and poor Pink need  
To fill the empty spaces  
Where our dads used to talk  
How shall we fill  
The final places?  
How should we complete our walls?"

* * *

"Woo!" 11 year old Roxie gasped out as she let herself unwind a bit after playing a concert. She felt overall pleased with her performance, but still felt strangely empty inside in spite of that. Roxie was simply waiting backstage when something caught her eye.

A Koffing was floating up near the rafters, smiling down at her.

"Yo!" Roxie said with a smile as she waved up to him, "You like my music?"

Koffing nodded and floated down to her.

Happy to meet a friendly Pokemon, the younger Roxie laughed and said, "You know, to be honest, I've had some bad luck when it comes to finding Pokemon who like me. Heck! Meeting you right now has given me quite the lift! I was kinda down in the dumps when you showed up! Alright then, how about I play a little something for ya?!"

Roxie then started playing her guitar and went right into another song.

_I am just a new girl_  
_Stranger in this town_  
_Where are all the good times?_  
_Who's gonna show this stranger around?_  
_Ooh, I need a Toxic Pokemon_  
_Ooh, I need a Poison-Type_

_Will some Pokemon in this new land_  
_Make me feel like a friend, man!_  
_Take this rock and roll refugee_  
_Ooh, Koffing, set me free_

_Ooh, I need a Toxic Pokemon_  
_Ooh, I need a Poison-Type_

_Ooh, I need a Toxic Pokemon_  
_Ooh, I need a Poison-Type_

Koffing smiled and spun around happily.

Roxie nodded in response and said, "Ya like that, don't ya? Awesome! Ooh, hey! I didn't introduce you to my starter!"

Roxie took out Snivy's Pokeball and said, "Come on out, Snivy!"

She opened the Pokeball, only for it to be revealed that it was empty.

Roxie's jaw dropped, her eyes wide as she stared at the empty Pokeball.

Koffing frowned, and he looked upon Roxie with sympathy.

"Snivy. . .left me," Roxie finally said, her voice shaky and cracking, "Snivy just. . .I can't believe. . .why did. . .?"

The empty Pokeball fell from Roxie's hand and lay on the floor. Roxie's legs were shaking as she stood staring at the floor. Then, she closed her eyes and began to recite a verse in a nearly emotionless monotone.

_Day after day, love turns grey_  
_Like the skin of a dying man._  
_And night after night, we pretend its all right_  
_But I have grown older and_  
_You have grown colder and_  
_Nothing is very much fun any more._  
_And I can feel a violent outburst coming on._  
_I feel cold as Glaciate,_  
_Tight as a Binding Band,_  
_Dry as a Freeze-Dry._

Immediately, Roxie's demeanor changed. Her eyes were wide open and blazing. She riffed on her guitar and then began rushing all over the backstage area. Koffing flew up out of the way as Roxie swung her guitar wildly. Roxie swung and kicked like she was insane, knocking things over and sending things flying across the room, singing loudly as she did so.

_Pain makes you do things,_  
_You'd never think you would do_  
_It makes other people frightened_  
_If they see you in your rage,_  
_The result of a bad day_  
_Betrayal can drive you crazy_  
_So hard to act normally_  
_Can't be happy when you're haunted_  
_By something that's so painful_  
_Can a broken hearted Flying-type fly?_  
_Can she?_  
_Would you like to see one try?_

Not seeing anything he could to calm Roxie down, Koffing flew up and out from the backstage area as Roxie shouted out after him.

_This was a scene Doug Walker skipped_  
_Do you think we all got gypped?_  
_Why are you running away?!_

Roxie stood huffing and puffing after her outburst, staring up where Koffing left. Then, gripping her guitar hard, she ran out of there with her head down and tears streaming down her cheeks. Not paying attention to anything or anyone, Roxie made a beeline straight for the nearby Pokemon Center. She ran right up to the room she had rented and locked the door behind her. She walked over to the bed and sat on it, panting to catch her breath.

"Snivy. . ." she softly a first. Then a hateful look overtook her face and she said venomously, "_Revenge. . ._"

Burgundy suddenly appeared at the window and said eagerly, "Aha! See! I told you it was important! _'When someone is in pain, they want to take it out on others'_! Just like I said!"

A Focus Blast suddenly struck Burgundy and sent her blasting off, and Keldeo appeared at the window and waved to Roxie with a smile. "Sorry about her. Go ahead, Roxie!"

Roxie nodded, and after Keldeo left the window, she began to play her guitar and sing another song.

_Ooh, Snivy_  
_Don't leave me now_  
_Don't say it's the end of the road_  
_Remember the berries you ate_

_I need you, Snivy_  
_To put through the shredder_  
_In front of my fans_  
_Ooh, Snivy_

_Don't leave me now_  
_How could you go?_  
_When you know how I need you_  
_To watch you get beat in a Gym Battle_  
_Ooh, Snivy, don't leave me now_

_How can you treat me this way?_  
_Running away_  
_Ooh, Snivy_  
_Why are you running away?_  
_Ooh, Snivy_

The younger Roxie's head suddenly snapped up, and she had a raging fire in her eyes. "You know what? Forget it! My life sucks! So many bad things have happened to me, so I'm just gonna forget this world and turn my back on it!"

Roxie marched over to the window, slammed it shut, locked it, and closed the blinds. Then she began to angrily play her guitar and sing with rage and disgust in her voice.

_I don't need no arms around me!_

_And I don't need any therapy!_

_I have seen the writing on the wall!_

_Don't think I need anything at all!_

_No, don't think I'll need anything at all_

_All in all it was all just bricks in the wall!_

_All other people, were all just bricks in the wall!_

Roxie then fell flat on her back on the bed and breathed in and out deeply. As she lay there in her grief, she quietly played her guitar and sung sadly:

_"Goodbye, cruel world_  
_I'm leaving you today_  
_Goodbye, goodbye, goodbye_  
_Goodbye, all you people_  
_There's nothing you can say_  
_To make me change my mind_  
_Goodbye. . ."_

Roxie lay there in complete silence, just staring up at the ceiling of her room. Meanwhile, right outside the Pokemon Center, Floyd the Pichu was sitting on Keldeo's back while playing his guitar. Keldeo looked at the locked window in sadness and sympathy. Keldeo sighed and shook his head, then he turned away and began to sing along to the Pichu's music.

_Hey Doug,_

_ Is your heart really that cold?_  
_You know, your shtick is getting old_  
_Can you feel it?_

_Hey Doug, _

_What you did was really wrong_  
_Why did you chose to skip this song_  
_Can you feel it?_

_Hey Doug, _

_You're helping to bury the liiiiiiiight_

_This song's about. . . a depressed person's plight_

Keldeo then changed into his Resolute Form and continued to sing with increased conviction along with Floyd.

_Hey you,_

_People are suffering on their own_  
_Got therapists on the phone_  
_Would you help them?_

_Hey you,_

_ Trauma and depression are The Wall_  
_People unable to call out_  
_Would you help me?_

_Hey you, _

_Would you love thy neighbor like Christ did say?_

_Open your heart. . . and bring 'em home_

Keldeo smiled and nodded his head as Floyd rocked out on his guitar to an truly epic guitar solo. Eventually, Floyd finished, and Keldeo sang a few lines in a solemn tone.

_For Pink, hope was a fantasy_  
_The Wall was too high, as you can see_  
_No matter how he tried, he could not break free_  
_And his depression took over his brain_

Suddenly, from within her room, Roxie suddenly screamed out at the top of her lungs,

"Hey you!

You aren't depressed like me  
I envy for you for being free  
Why don't you help me?!

Hey you!

Out there beyond The Wall  
You live your life and let me fall  
Why don't you help me?!

Hey you!

Poor mental health is the worst of aaaaaaaall!

Other people help me stand. . .but alone I will fall. . .will fall. . .will fall. . .will fall. . .."

* * *

**We'll be right back!**


	16. Just For Fun Trailer- 1

_**A/N: **__Well, it's been a LOOOOONG time since I've done a Just For Fun Trailer on Keldeo the Critic. I don't know why, but this whole fancy Editorial of __**The Wall **__has got me in sort of a rut. I should be finished with it by now, but I've been slacking for some reason I can't put my finger on. Anyway, I'm thinking that this little bit of inspiration I found will help me out and get me back into gear._

_This bit of writing was inspired by a character named Barley Buck, created by a freelance artist named Sio O'Conor, AKA Sioteru. Take a look at the character HERE: TinyURL- __**y7a8gmwy**_

_Blitzeo Arts even did a short voice reel for this character HERE: TinyURL- __**yb2s6gan**_

_I'd suggest checking out at least Blitzeo Arts' voice reel video first so you can get a better grasp on the character._

_So, without further ado, let's check out my fantasy for this adorable and friendly character while we wait for the third and final part of my analysis of **The Wall.**_

* * *

_The following PREVIEW has been rated **JFF **for **Just For Fun**_

* * *

Sunlight shone down in shimmering rays through the forest canopy. The woods were majestic, almost fairy tale like, with glorious greens and deep browns of lush plant life. Within this picture perfect setting grazed one small young deer. The light brown buck's face was in the grass, two tufts of fur sticking out from his forehead. A short pair of cream colored, three pronged antlers stuck out as tall as his large ears, which were a darker shade of brown at the top. Common of his species, he had brown and white tail, with the addition of a darker brown bit at its tip.

As the young buck grazed, a black capped chickadee fluttered down and landed on his white spotted back. The little bird pecked at the deer's back and whispered, "Psst. Hey. Buddy."

The deer lifted his head, still chewing as he turned his head to look at the chickadee with one of his big ice blue eyes. The three white spots and three tufts of fur on his cheeks moved up and down as he continued chewing on grass. His right deeper brown eyebrow raised slightly as he looked at the bird.

The chickadee raised a wing to his beak and shushed the buck, and then he flew off a few feet away and over to a fallen log. The bird then flattened a patch of tall grass at one end of the hollow log, revealing the muzzle of a sleeping wolf.

The buck's pupils shrank at the sight of the predator, and he swallowed his grass hard as his dark brown nose twitched nervously.

The chickadee flew over and landed on the nervous deer's head. The bird then gently whispered into the buck's ears, "Okay. . .keep it quiet. . .keep it slow. . .nice and easy. . ."

The deer backed up, slowly lifting his dark brown hooves as he stepped back, his mouth hanging open as he breathed in and out heavily. Focused on the sleeping wolf, the deer didn't see the branch in his path until one of his hooves stepped on it.

_Snap!_

One of the wolf's ears twitched, and his eyes popped open.

The chickadee grabbed the buck's antlers with his wings and said urgently, "Okay, start running."

"Bu-but you said to keep it slow," the deer stammered out.

"The wolf was asleep then. Now he's awake. Run," the bird said flatly.

* * *

_**An act of kindness. . .**_

* * *

The chickadee sat on a branch and watched as the young buck struggled, his antlers stuck tight in a tree hollow.

"It's no use. . ." the buck moaned in despair, "I'll be stuck here forever. . ."

* * *

With a strong stick held tightly in his feet and wedged inside the tree hollow, the chickadee pushed with all his strength as the buck pulled his head back. There was a loud crack as one side of the round opening broke, allowing the deer to finally pull his antlers out of the hole.

* * *

"You did it!" the buck shouted joyfully as he sat on his haunches, "You got my antlers unstuck!"

The bird watched with delight as the young deer started leaping for joy as he cheered, "I'm free! _I'm free!_"

Then the buck calmed down enough to smile gently at the chickadee and say, "My name's Barley. What's yours?"

"Blackee," the little bird replied cheerfully.

* * *

**_. . .pays dividends in friendship_**

* * *

Barley grunted as he charged right into the side of a slightly rotten tree, striking it with the tip of his right antler to punch a hole into it. He smiled proudly and turned to Blackee and said, "Heh. I just saved you 10 days of work."

"And a beak full of wood chips!" Blackee said with a smile and a tilt of his head.

* * *

"Brue-bwerries!" Barley said as he held a branch filled with the fruit in his mouth.

"Bwack-bwerries!" Blackee said through the small sprig from the berry bush in his beak.

Both of them dropped their findings and cheered out together, _"It's Berry Jamboree Time!"_

* * *

Blackee fluttered down onto a nearby low branch and said, "I guess we just go together. Not the toughest or strongest, but agreeable and likable."

Barley grinned confidently and said, "Who says I'm not so tough?" The buck then scratched the ground with a forehoof, and he lowered his head and began thrusting his antlers forward. "At the front, I'll give 'em this; and behind, I'll give 'em _this_!"

Barley then kicked his right hind leg out hard, and his hoof struck a nearby tree trunk with a full force and with a loud crack.

Blackee raised a wing to cover his eyes as Barley stood with his jaw hanging open, shuddering from the pain.

* * *

"I can walk this off. I'm walking it off," Barley said as he walked awkwardly onward, a slight limp in his right hind leg as Blackee sat on his head with a look of sympathy on his face.

* * *

"What's the Bambi Challenge?" Barley asked.

"Right over there," Blackee said as he pointed with a wing.

Barley looked out across the frozen lake with wide eyes. He then chuckled a bit, his eyes darting around nervously as he slowly backed off. "Heh-heh, uh, no. This isn't for me."

Blackee fluttered over to the buck's tail and pocked him gently in the rear with his talons, saying, "C'mon, buddy. Don't be shy."

* * *

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!" Barley screamed as he ran through the forest with the wolf hot on his tail.

"Don't scream! Breathe so you can run faster!" Blackee shouted from his perch in between the buck's antlers.

"AAAAAAHHHHHHH!"

While clinging to Barley's head fur with his talons, Blackee reached out with his wings and grabbed the two antlers, pulling and pushing as he chirped out, "Jump to the left! Over the log! Circle around that bush! Try to zig-zag!"

"No top-seat driving!" Barley cried out in a panic.

* * *

_**STARRING:**_

_**Blitzeo Arts. . .**_

Barley stood in between the fox and the cowering Blackee. Barley nodded and said to his friend, "It's okay, it's okay, Blackee. You'll be fine. I speak fox."

Barley then turned to the fox, cleared his throat, and then jumping from hoof to hoof as he said, "Jacha-chacha-chacha-chow! Chacha-chacha-chacha-chow! Chacha-chacha-chacha-chow!"

The fox merely stared at Barley with an annoyed, deadpanned expression.

* * *

_**. . .and Vincent Tong**_

As Barley laid down on his side, Blackee went to work scratching the buck's ankles with his feet, saying, "I'm sorry, but I just can't bring myself to hate that plant. It's berries are awesome. . it's those leaves of three that are the problem."

Barley just let out a cross between a moan and a sigh.

* * *

**_Barley Buck (and Blackee)_**

* * *

"Pull up! Pull up! Pull up!" Blackee shouted as he pulled back on Barley's antlers, his eyes wide as the buck galloped towards a wide ravine.

"I'm not a birrrrrrrrrrrrrrrd!" Barley shouted as made the jump once he got to the edge, leaving the frustrated wolf behind.

Barley flailed his legs as he soared through the air, and then landed hard right on the ledge, his hind legs hanging off. Barley panted to catch his breath, and Blackee started to chuckle and said, "Wow. You made it."

At the moment, Barley began to slide backwards off the ledge.

"Hooves can't grab, hooves can't grab, hooves can't grab!" Barley shouted as he desperately scraped at the ledge he was hanging off of with his forehooves.

"Hey, hey, hey, you'll be fine, there's deep enough water down there," Blackee said gently as he stroked the top of Barley's head.

Barley blinked and said, "Oh. Well, okaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay!"

**_SPLASH!_**

The wolf approached the edge and looked downwards curiously.

"It's cold. . .the water's cold," Barley declared from down below.


	17. 7- Editorial 4- The Wall - Part 3

**_I STARE AT THE REVIEW SECTION_**

**_I SEE NO REVIEWS OR RESPONSES WHATSOEVER_**

**_I STARE AND STARE AND CHECK AND RECHECK ENDLESSLY_**

**_AND THEN I SAY:_**

**_"Is there anybody out there?"_**

* * *

_**Keldeo the Critic- Season Six**_

_**Episode 7: Editorial 4- Pink Floyd's The Wall**_

_"Is there anybody out there?"_

Roxie said this as she looked between the locked door and closed blinds. She was strumming her guitar in a hauntingly depressing melody as she said this, feeling utterly alone and isolated at this point. Her playing then began slightly slower and filled with a greater sense of heart and mournful spirit as she started singing.

_I've got a little black book with my songs in_

_I've got a bag with a toothbrush and a comb in_

_When I'm a good dog they sometimes throw me a bone in_

_I've got the bare necessities sure_

_But those things are hardly a cure_

_For the emotional pain and depression, torture so pure_

_My body is sure alright_

_But I haven't won the fight_

_I gotta make this big observation_

_One thing that I know_

_I can't get the thing I need_

_When I ask to be freed_

_There'll be nobody home_

_I've got the obligatory rock star hair_

_And I really couldn't bring myself to care_

_About the torn and frayed edges of the bottom of my shirt_

_I've got Rage Candy Bar stains on my fingers_

_I've got a obviously clear lack of Zen Mode_

_I've got this guitar just to to prop up my mortal remains_

_I've got wild staring eyes_

_I've got a strong urge to fly_

_But I've got nowhere to fly to_

_Ooh, Snivy, when I cry out all alone_

_There's still nobody home_

_I've got a pair of black punk boots_

_But I've got fading roots._

Roxie stopped playing suddenly a sighed as her mind began to drift to thoughts of a battle she had seen Lt. Surge have with a Gym Challenger. She had a quick meeting with him afterwords, and as she remembered his words, she began to sing.

_Does anybody here remember Lieutenant Surge?_

_Remember how he said that we would meet again_

_Some sunny day?_

_Lieutenant Surge!_

_What has become of you?_

_Does your post war trauma ever haunt you?_

* * *

Roxie suddenly found herself standing all alone in a train station. The place was seemingly abandoned, and eerily quiet. But then, Roxie began to hear drums in the distance. She turned and saw a huge group of people marching forward, complete with a marching band. As the crowd approached Roxie, they began to sing loud and strong.

_"Our issues aren't that baaaaaad!_

_These protests make us glaaaaaad!_

_They don't affect us on a personal level!_

_We don't caaaaare about you!"_

As the huge crowd of protesters passed Roxie by, many of the people pushing her out of the way as they continued to march on to voice their own gripes. Once the crowd had left, Roxie began to hear the sound of an alarm clock beeping. As the beeping grew louder and louder, Roxie could also hear the sounds of various voices getting louder as well. She could hear Snivy, her teacher, and even her manager pounding on her door. Roxie shut her eyes tightly against the building noise, and then suddenly said loudly and resolutely:

_**"Is there anybody out there!?"**_

* * *

Roxie found herself back in her room at the Pokemon Center, still sitting on the bed. She blinked her eyes once, and then reached over and grabbed her Nintendo DS. She turned it on, and after a second, Floyd the Pichu appeared on the screen.

Floyd looked back up at Roxie from within the screen, then he began sing while playing his guitar.

"Hello. . .

Is there anybody in there?

Just nod if you can hear me

Is there anyone at home?

Come on now

I hear you're feeling down

Well, I can ease your pain

Just go select **_'New Game'_**

Relax

Soon we will begin this game

Are you a boy or a girl?

Can you please tell me your name?

There is no pain, you are receding

A new highscore or save point on the horizon

Steam and Nintendo sends out games in waves

Your lips move, the mic picks up what your're saying"

Roxie's eyes widened as she focused on the game in her hands, and she sang out in response.

_"When I was a child I got sick once_

_I laid in bed and played Nintendo_

_Now I've got that feeling once again_

_I can't explain, you would not understand_

_This is not how I am_

_I. . . have succumbed. . .to an addiction"_

Meanwhile, outside of the room, Roxie's manager, played by Jessie wearing a black suit-dress, was angrily pacing outside the door.

"Darn that Roxie! She needs to get out of there a perform! I need to make my money! Stupid child! I need to pick my cash-Miltank more carefully from now on!" Jessie said irately. She then pointed at James, Meowth, and Wobbuffet, who were there for some inexplicable reason, and said, "Alright you to! Knock down that door!"

Back inside the room, Roxie was still glued to her Nintendo DS. Her eyes wide as she sang in an almost hypnotized fashion.

_"I. . . have succumbed. . .to an addiction."_

There was a massive crash as the door was finally knocked down. As James, Meowth, and Wobbuffet laid on the floor, Jessie walked over them and strutted over to Roxie with a smirk on her face. She grabbed Roxie by the hair and forced her to look her in the face. The manager kept smirking as she started singing to Roxie.

"Okay. . .

You'd better get up quick

You know I've got your monnnnney!

I don't care if I make you sick

You'd better get up

You really love those games? Good

You need money to get more games

If you don't perform, it goes up in flames

There is no pain you are receding

You need the cash to feed your habit

Steam and Nintendo sends out games in waves

Your lips move, the mic picks up what your're saying."

Jessie let go of Roxie's hair, and the rock-star looked back down at her Nintendo DS and sang out nostalgically.

_"When I was a child_

_I had no money worries_

_I went to school and played at home_

_I was carefree, but now those days are gone_

_I cannot put my finger on it now_

_The child is grown_

_The dream is gone_

_I. . . have succumbed. . .to an addiction."_

Jessie the manager rolled her eyes, and she gestured with her hands for James, Meowth, and Wobbuffet to pick Roxie up. The three males did so, and Roxie, still glued to her Nintendo DS, was carried out of the room and all the way to the stage where she would be performing her latest concert.

Roxie was dumped unceremoniously on the floor backstage, her Nintendo DS flying out of her hands and landing on the ground. As the handheld gaming console slid out of reach, Jessie leaned over Roxie and said harshly, "Now snap out of it, focus, and start playing! Or else your career is OVER! The show must go on!"

The group of four walked away from Roxie, leaving her lying prone on the floor. She laid there for a moment, until she slowly began to get up, half moaning and half singing to herself as others chanted in the background.

(Aaaaaaaaaaaah)

(Aaaaaaaaaaaah)

_"Ooh Dad! Ooh Dad!_

_Must the show go on?_

_Ooh Dad take me home!_

_Ooh Dad help me go"_

Roxie tearfully looked around as she continued to sing mournfully.

_"There must be some mistake_

_I didn't mean to let them take away my soul_

_Am I too old? Is it too late?_

_Ooh Dad! Ooh Dad!_

_Where has the feeling gone?_

_Ooh Dad! Ooh Dad!_

_Will I remember the songs?_

_Ooh ah! The show must go on."_

Keldeo with Floyd riding on his back revealed themselves to be the chanters as they passed by.

Floyd shrugged and said, "Nothing much to add here. We didn't even have to change the lyrics that much. This song's pretty much self explanatory."

Keldeo nodded and added, "All the pressure and materialism and emptiness and depression has not only caused our protagonist to go into isolationist from the audience and the world at large. It's so sad."

Floyd then grinned and said, "But hey! The music REALLY picks up after this part, doesn't it?"

Keldeo couldn't help but return the Pichu's grin and say, "Yes. Yes it does."

* * *

**We'll be right back. . .FOR THE FINALE!**


End file.
